Just got diagnosed, just moved to a new city.... need support
Posted , 3 users are following.
Hi all,
I am absolutely devastated. My first OB was extremely mild - I had two tiny pimple looking lesions right between my labia and thigh. No pain, no tingling, no blistering, no ulcers, no scabs. nothing. I got swabbed on Monday and just returned from the doctors - a positive HSV2 diagnosis.
I am thankful for this forum - I researched it as much as possible before and because of that, knew that going in that herpes is not a textbook virus - everyone has symptoms, some very severe, some very mild.
I am feeling incredibly depressed and alone since I had just moved to a new town all by myself (the other side of the country from my family and friends). Foolishly, I decided to sleep with someone who I had trusted here.... because I was lonely and now this has changed my life forever. I am trying not to be bitter but I am just so shocked and have never felt so alone or depressed in my life.
I am overwhelmed - I told two very close friends from home but haven't told anyone else. I am terrified to tell my mom and I don't know if that would be a good move or not. I am incredibly bummed because I also met an amazing guy last week who I thought was for sure boyfriend material. I am afraid of what impact this will have on that potential relationship. The stigma is truly the worst part of this illness.
Can anyone provide some words of encouragement? I need some support
1 like, 16 replies
FelizCastus sarah2897
Posted
I know nobody with GH besides my giver, since people with it either don't know or won't openly talk about it. Also, I don't think it's nearly as common where I am, so all of the 1 out of 4 or 5 stats don't apply.
But I am very grateful to have found and joined this forum. Fyi, I have Type 2 as well, acquired not too long ago.
FelizCastus
Posted
Also, if your mother is anything like mine, you would definitely NOT tell, lol! I would be lectured on my lifestyle, choices, ruined prospects, etc. Pretty sure of it, so no way!! My folks recently visited for just under two weeks, and I was already critiqued by my mother for my bad skin, dry hair, unflattering hair colour choice, penchant for flip-flops, mismatched home decor, plus more. Yours might be very different, hopefully, but just trying to add some real-life humour to the situation!
sarah2897 FelizCastus
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FelizCastus sarah2897
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NuMe sarah2897
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sarah2897
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As for the guy who gave this to me, I have not spoken to him. I believe he knew about it and I am now in a small town and I worry he will tell others and deny that he gave it to me in the first place.
As for the guy who I am interested in, we were supposed to get together tomorrow night but I don't know if I can handle it at this point.....
NuMe, your story really gives some hope
Relationships without a doubt will be the most difficult but it's all about finding someone who loves you for you.
NuMe sarah2897
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FelizCastus sarah2897
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Since you're newly diagnosed, in case you'd like to read up more on GH (knowledge helps, imo, at least it has for me!), I have summarised a lot of key/useful info in the top-pinned discussion thread below (external links to research/articles included, too):
https://patient.info/forums/discuss/genital-herpes-useful-info-for-those-looking-for-answers-like-me--482438
sarah2897 FelizCastus
Posted
I am am not sure what the difference is between PCR swab or viral culture. All I know is that they swabbed me? What's the difference there?
Thanks for the link! Will definitely take a read
sarah2897
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FelizCastus sarah2897
Posted
I cover antiviral therapy in my pinned post, but basically daily suppressive meds are not recommended if you don't have very frequent outbreaks, unless you are in a discordant relationship where both parties wish to minimise transmission to the negative partner.
Experts recommend observing how your body naturally handles GH first for the first few months to a year, if transmission risk is not an issue, and prefer episodic therapy to manage outbreaks as and when they occur, which is what your doctor has also advised. This does not reduce viral shedding, however.
FelizCastus
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sarah2897 FelizCastus
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the worst today was that I needed a new prescription for birth control pills (obviously not looking for sc anytime soon but my body freaks if I go off of it cause it has been so lomg). So the doctor just diagnosed me, is writing up my prescription for valtrex, I'm crying hysterically and then ask for s new bc prescription!!! Lol look on his face was priceless.
When were you diagnoses? You're very knowledgeable.
FelizCastus sarah2897
Posted
Believe it or not, I was only diagnosed two months ago, *but* I have had loads (and I mean *loads*) of free time since then, and have thrown myself into reading up on anything and everything about GH. Credible, legit sources only, as I'm not a fan of non-scientific mumbo jumbo, so reputable websites, research studies, STD/HSV expert Q&As with GH folk, etc.
Two months' worth of quality reading and a sponge for a brain can make anyone super knowledgeable, lol! I have also found my quest for knowledge/answers to be very helpful in dealing with my diagnosis. The more you know and understand, the better you are able to manage and have realistic expectations, etc. Works for me, at least!
FelizCastus
Posted
On the other hand, GH won't kill you, it doesn't impair your immune system, it is manageable, and the risk of transmission to partners can be significantly minimised. I thus have mixed views on GH. It's not the worst, but it's also not the best. It just *is*, and now I have to deal with it as best I can!
sarah2897 FelizCastus
Posted
I am also not sure whether or not I should tell my family. I know my mom would be supportive, but I am afraid she would be a bit judgemental at the beginning