Just venting

Crystal.

​I am a 68 year old male, also stage 3.  You may think I can not associate myself to your feelings being of different ages and sex, but I can.  There are times even at my age where the depression and sadness can overwhelm.  I try to make myself feel better by telling myself things like that I have lived longer than many people, so this is not so bad.  Or that perhaps my time has been cut dramatically short by the CKD but at least I am not a young man.  So to give you advice is difficult.  I think however you should try to concentrate on not what could have been, what should have been, but more on the here and now.  Concentrate on how can you slow the progression of your CKD.  To do things that make you happy and do them now.  If you have a close friend or group of friends or a close family member, talk to them.  But most important is maintaining your kidneys.  We all get depressed, but we must all make the best of our bad situations.  Good luck.  

Crystal,

I gave birth to 2 sons and we adopted our youngest son. I have 3 sons that I love the same. My husband didn't give birth to any just like any other man, he loves all 3 the same. My youngest is now 13 and I am stage 4 gfr23, I came down 24 points in 2017 and continue to slide down. Yes I am trying my best to keep myself up but also have to plan just in case I'm not here to see him reach adulthood.  That is harder on me than  when I stuggled to get pregnant. What you may miss is the pregnancy, not the child.   Men do it all the time, raise children they didn't give birth to, you know. My DAd had many heart attacks before leaving so I know it could happen to me and that I may not make it. I'm reminded every time I see my boys face. That is very difficult to live with daily. We just need to keep going and be thankful for the good memories we have and make new ones daily. I have no advice but I just want you to know that I have you in my prayers. I'll pray God gives you peace in your heart and strength in your mind.

Just in case you wondered I'll tell you I wasn't even diabetic when we adopted him no less know I would some day have CKD. Life doesn't go according to our plans. Enjoy today.

Crystal,

Some women who have participated in this forum have been able to become pregnenant and deliver healthy babies. They would say that each person's experience with CKD is unique. They would also share that they visited several nephrologist s seeking opinions.

I'd agree with KenR's comments. It may be worth seeing a few other specialists to see what consensus evolves across several physicians. Then if you find you truly can't give birth to your own child, I would hope you would strongly consider adoption--as you know from personal experience, adoption is a wonderful option for the child and adult.

Best wishes🐶

Marj

Crystal.  Another thing to remember.  You did not give us the details as to why you are stage 3.  Are both kidney's "failing".  Did you have one kidney removed?  Was it induced by some other ailment or medication.  While you are at stage 3, always remember, that does NOT mean it is a death sentence.

I want to thank everyone who replied. I’m feeling much better about things today. Sometimes you just have to talk to ppl who are going through what you are. This CKD journey has been kind of rocky for me. I’ve been diabetic since 2004, was diagnosed with CKD in 2015 and also have hypothyroidism since 2015 due to thyroids being removed. I’ve recently found a new nephrologist and will be asking him some questions. I will keep everyone posted with the out come. I wish you all the best of luck, we’ll wish and many blessings. Thanks again 

I was stage 3 at around the same age. Just met my wife to be. I am now on dialysis and have 3 wonderful girls. Things happen to is all. I have the mantra of this illness won't win and I will see my girls grow up and get married. Some days are hard but I just look at what I have, and there are people worse off than me