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Just when I thought things were getting better 😢

Posted , 8 users are following.

Dreamhigh
Dreamhigh

After joining the forum the other day I felt more at ease because I feel like I'm not alone and everyone has good ideas on how to feel better. I actually had a good weekend and I saw my friend who's having a baby in January and it put a smile on my face and I thought I want in the future with my boyfriend. But today things changed, I felt sad and teary again and had more thoughts of taking an overdose, I'm fed up of feeling like this I don't no how much longer I can take it. Not sleeping, I can't stop eating, I've been constantly ill past 3 weeks. My worst fear is loosing ones I love and letting my mum down. I'm trying to build up courage to go back to the doctors but I just can't bare the thought of them turning me away again. Do I? Dont i? What to do?? 

2 likes, 19 replies

19 Replies

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  • hypercat
    hypercat Dreamhigh

    Posted

    Hi I am sorry you have had such a bad experience and want to share my story with you.

    I have had depression all my life but fortunately not many bad flare ups.  Around 7 years ago due to a very stressful job I became very depressed and suicidal and decided to kill myself.   I thought I would go to the doctors to ask for sleeping pills hoping they would do the job.  

    This doctor refused point blank and sent me away with a flea in my ear and a leaflet on sleep.  He was not interested,  didn't diagnose my depression and told me he thought I was 'uptight'.    I was very upset.

    Anyway I refused to go back and got worse and worse.  Eventually I hit on a plan.  I have a friend who had some anti-depressants who had come off them.  I gave her a cock and bull story and she gave me all she had left (around 50).  I went home and took the lot and woke up 1 and 1/2 days later.  I struggled on then eventually 4 months after my first visit I went back and saw a different (female) doctor who was lovely and told her what i had done.  What a difference from the first one.  I got a diagnosis,  meds and she put me in for counselling.  

    The point of this story is please don't let this awful doctor put you off and don't wait as long as I did.  Get yourself back please.  I generally find female doctors much nicer than male doctors so try and find one who is sympathetic.   Good luck.

    Bev x

     

  • gillian20097
    gillian20097 Dreamhigh

    Posted

    I'm so glad you had a good weekend and where thinking fondly of your future. These are all good signs. As others have said,the road through depression is very up and down at first but believe me,if you are having a whole good weekend by week 3,then you are well on your way to recovery.

    I think it's very important to have your doctors support when living with any illness,more so when it involves the mind and functioning. I would certainly go back and see your doctor and if you don't get the help and reassurance you need then perhaps it's time to change to another. Nobody should have to face this alone. 

    Whatever happens,just know that you have a loving partner by your side and us guys if you need a little reassurance.

    You are doing great.xxx.

     

  • anne240
    anne240 Dreamhigh

    Posted

    I have had depression/anxiety for over 20 years.  I have myself taken an overdose and been in a psychiatric hospital.  I lost a job, home and relationship because of depression.  Thing is I am still here, and have been on many different anti depressants over the years.  some agreed with me and some gave me strange side effects.  Through it all I battled on, as I did not want the illness to win.  So hard.

    Why do you think the doctor would turn you away?  They deal with people like us all the time.  And of course you are not letting your mum down.  She loves you, and you love her.  You would do anything for each other.  It is my daughter who has seen me through years of depression.  She is my rock.  So much so that she is now taking a counselling course to help others like me.

    You have to do what you think is best for you.  I find sharing how I feel really does help.

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