Just when you think

Posted , 5 users are following.

Had a bad day today, everyday is bad but past few days haven't been quite so bad as usual...now? Well now I realise not to think/hope/pray that it'll last because it just doesn't! At least not for me! And even if it did it's no life to live! Feel I can't win! Life is frigging tough! Used to think I was stuck in a rut...now I'm coming to realise that the "rut" is just my life!.....my life? If only that was all I had to worry about! I have 5 little lives that come before mine and feel like I'm ruining theirs...actually I know I am and I hate it!!! Nothing I want/need/try ever seems to help and without sounding even more ridiculous than I am....I feel like I'm cursed! Feel like anything I try/do just doesn't work or isn't enough

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  • Posted

    You said one very important thing in your rant here, Dondons, you said that life is tough....and it is.  For some it's harder than others, and then they have to be braver and stronger than the rest.  YOU ARE.  You will not let those five little lives down.

    I admire you so much, I have watched your struggles and seen how you have supported others, you are needed.  You are special.

    I wish I could help more.  I just want you to know that you are appreciated more than you know.

    Pat xxx

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  • Posted

    Hi dondons

    raising 5 little ones is a very hard job at the best of times, when unwell it's a massive achievement to be responsible for so many. I raised four children on my own and can really relate to how tough it must be for you. Do you get support from your family with the little ones? I think you desperately need a break, 'you time'

    Try listing the things/situations that make you feel in a rut. Then try listing what you could do to ease or remove the rut. eg . Money problems off to citizens advice (or something similar debt management) if not in the UK.

    Child care. ..explore if you can get any external help or eligible for funding a certain amount of hours childcare.

    If it's relationships...how can they be made better etc.

    my guess it's an accumulation of feeling unwell and juggling all your responsibilities. If you can get a break, I think it would really benefit you. Are you in the UK? If so, consider tapping into support from charitable organisations or perhaps chatting with a duty social worker attached to your local council. (They may be able to give you funding for help)

    I know you have had a bad day today, tomorrow will bring new challenges. List and plan what you can do to make life a little easier for yourself.

    You are not cursed, but feeling unwell and overwhelmed.

    God bless ♥♥♥

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    • Posted

      Thank you for your reply xx

      I have help from my family, I'm currently living at my sisters with my 4 youngest, my eldest, she's 16 is having her first counselling session tomorrow, I got her an appointment with my counsellor, feel like he needs to open his diary up for the other 4 as all I'm doing is messing their lives up! Everytime I've tried to take my life people have said "think of the children" but what they don't get is that that's exactly what I'm doing!

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    • Posted

      Bless you dondons

      you would be messing up their lives if you were not there for them. But you are there for them and they know they are loved. Are your other children of an age where they can understand mummy's not well? If they grasp the fact that it's an illness, they will be able to accept and adapt. Their comfort will be in knowing 'it's not anything they are doing' mummy's unwell today.

      Are you in the UK Don? If so see if you qualify to tap into 'direct payments' from social services. You can spend this money, anyway you like to help you and your family.

      don't be so hard on yourself. ..you are doing amazing in very difficult circumstances ♥♥♥

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    • Posted

      My daughter is 16, my son has just turned 14, my baby boy has just turned 8 and my twin girls are 6 x

      I am messing up their lives, wish I could say I wasn't but I am! The babies don't understand, kids are resilient though right? I only wish that were true! Kids should enjoy life and not have any worries, it's just not fair on them, I hate that I'm like this I honestly feel they'd be better off in the long run without me.

      Yes I'm in the uk, money is the very least of my worries though, never had it, don't even want it, just want some kinda Normal life for my children...and me xx

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    • Posted

      Carry on being strong..no hurting yourself.

      I think you are not giving yourself enough credit. You are clearly trying very hard to improve the quality of your life and the lives of your children. I do think you should pursue your talent for writing. ♥♥

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    • Posted

      I get that.  And I take it a step further and say, what about MY pain?  My last hospital admission taught me something important.  I gave and gave to the needs of my children, but I forgot to replenish myself.  I was on empty.  I needed to refill my own tank.  Yes I love my children!  But my needs count too.  On every air plane when they instruct us about how to use the oxygen masks, they always tell us to put our own mask on first before we try to help others.  

      Balance.

      Good life advice.  Find ways to refill your tank.

      Thinking of you,

      Dawn, USA

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  • Posted

    I hope that everything gets better for you. Just remember that those 5 children of yours need you, & try to show them a lot of love. In turn, their happiness will ease your pain (even if only a little bit). 
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