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Just when you thought things were getting better....

Posted , 9 users are following.

gillian0503
gillian0503

I actually thought I was turning a corner today and bang tonight I feel so upset and feel like my world is literally crashing onto top of me.

Why can't I just be happy, why does this always take control of me.....cry

 

2 likes, 28 replies

28 Replies

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  • nick34171
    nick34171 gillian0503

    Posted

    Hi Gillian, whats happened to make you go down? Is it people sticking their noses in or you've just switched moods? Today i had an appointment otherside of town, i attended only to have some woman old enough to be my gran make a remark about me on the bus, i'm no ageist but i would have thought the older you get the more you cherish having manners and decorum. If somebody has upset you, then screw them. They'll all get their come uppance in the end. Chin up lady x
  • simon1975mar
    simon1975mar gillian0503

    Posted

    Hi Gillian, sorry to hear about your day. I understand your pain, and relate to your situation. I t certainly is amazing how, in just a single day, things can go from pretty good to severely bad!

    Do you want to talk about what happened?

     

  • gillian0503
    gillian0503

    Posted

    Got some bad news at work yesterday which was expected in a sense but it just feels like I'm never getting a break, I just want some time to be myself. I feel totally isolated with no one really to turn too.  I am just so upset tonight and can't seem to shake this lonliness I feel.  Its like its coming down on top of me after what appeared to be a good day this morning.  I think everything has just got on top of me again tonight and I am feeling so low.
    • simon1975mar
      simon1975mar gillian0503

      Posted

      It can feel bad. It's like a great weight pressing down on you, and you've not the strength to lift it off.

      You need to do something to break your train of thought, and occupy your mind. I mean now, tonight, for some short term and immediate release from it all. It could be anything you enjoy - from having a pizza to watching your favourite fil. Anything at all ...

      Remember, while today has been bad, tomorrow might be a bit better.

      You mention you're isolated. Have you no one you can meet up with? Even if only to chat with on the phone? An old friend who might appreciate you contacting them?

      Feelings of isolation and lonliness are terrible. You need to spend time doing something you enjoy with someone you like spending time with.

      Chatting on here is a poor substitute for proper conversation. But, it's better than nothing. If you need to continue this conversation, feel free.

    • gillian0503
      gillian0503 simon1975mar

      Posted

      Simon no one really that I would want to bother with my crying episodes especially when they all getting ready for christmas, the last thing they need is me sobbing down the phone to them.  I don't really have a close circle of friends apart from one person whom I know I can call her anytime.  No friends (long story).  And its not beccause I am a freak honest!!

      Just me and my kids.

      I always find that chatting on here helps me realise I am not alone after all.

      I wish I had the social circle of friends with place to go and people to see but I don't and that's been for a long while.

      Maybe a good nights sleep and everything will look different in the morning.

    • loxie
      loxie gillian0503

      Posted

      oh Gillian, I'm so sorry you feel like this.  I too thought I was coping much better and a couple of minor things happened today and I'm now feeling edgy and fragile again.  Seems like as soon as I climb a hurdle something or someone trips me up again.  Had my car smashed parked outside my rented garage a few weeks ago by an unknown driver.  Cost me a fortune in excess insurance charges to get it repaired but I was getting over it and the council installed a bollard/post next to where I park to stop it happening again, today someone intentional vandalised the post by ripping it out at the base. No one saw it happen even in broad daylight so now I'm all shaky and upset and feeling like a victim again.  Had to cancel going away at New Year because the budget got eaten up by the car repairs but found a really cheap deal online for a budget short break of 3 nights in January, less than half what it would have cost to go away at New Year, then my partner told me he cant get the time off work because others have been allowed to book most of January off before the annual leave list even started.  I just feel I hit a brick wall at every turn.  Tonight I should be cooking and getting house ready for tomorrow night as we're having Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve as my partner has to work from Christmas day through to boxing day (that was another upset) but I'm now all shaky and nervous and tearful and haven't got anything done and I have to work tomorrow.  I'm so sick of not coping with even the smallest upsets.  At least we have this forum to turn to, nobody else I know seems to understand why these things upset my system so badly. Just feel like hitting the brandy bottle tonight but I know if I have a hangover tomorrow I won't cope.
    • gillian0503
      gillian0503 loxie

      Posted

      I totally feel exactly the same, the smallest of thing can set me off and I feel so fragile like I am about to break open.  Thats terrible about your car and your wee break away, are you still going to go and take someone else with you or are you just going to cancel it until another time.  Christmas I think send us into a panic, I for one don't enjoy Christmas, its just me and the kids for the last couple of years and its taking a wee bit of getting used too, maybe one day I will be abe to share it will someone special.  I thank god for this forum especially tonight as I always find talking just for a while calms me down and I feel settled for a while.

      I've hit the brick wall so many times this last few months, I am surprised its still standing.  Just looking for some peace for a bit, calm and be able to breath without it truly hurting.  Stop the ache in my heart for a bit would be nice too. xx

    • froggy2
      froggy2 loxie

      Posted

      Hey Loxie

      Work for the Public service like me and you get that crap about special holiday pre-bookings all the time :P

      Serious if u don't jave kids then maybe take the opportunity to book a break in the busiest time for both of you, which may also be the time that holidays are cheapest! works for me.

    • loxie
      loxie froggy2

      Posted

      Hi Frog. my partner works as a support worker in supported living - 24/7, 365 day service so we are used to him not getting weekends or Bank  holidays etc.  However, everyone else who worked permanently there has left and they've drafted in 'bank' staff (temps) or newcomers from other services to cover, he's been there for years on permanent staff and yet they get preference, the place is a joke and low paid but that's the same everywhere in his line of work.  We don't have kids and obviously can take holidays in school term time but those with young children use it to their advantage and get preference. oh well, as the song says, life's a piece of sh*t and I must remember it.  Had a rant and a cry and a bit of foot stomping and got on with some Christmas cooking to take my mind off it.  Maybe not going away will save me some money, look on the bright side eh.
  • Guest
    Guest gillian0503

    Posted

    Hi Gillian...depression really is bollocks!...It is the nature of the beast to turn on us,unawares...But also worth remembering that happiness in itself,is not a permanent state.Hopefully you will feel better just as suddenly as you took a downward turn.In the interim,be good to yourself x x
  • michael_37726
    michael_37726 gillian0503

    Posted

    Hi Gillian 

    I know what you mean as this is what happens to me as well. The way I deal with it is to just put it down to recovery, I think it's all part of the journey to getting well, we just wobble a bit when we have been feeling a bit better and then go down again and our heads tell us that this is how it will always be. I felt better last night but now I'm feeling very anxious and depressed again today. Tomorrow is another day so hang in in there you and I may feel better in the morning. I think the trouble is with us is that we are so fed up with suffering and just want instant relief but it just don't seem to work like that does it? X

  • UK-Ven-medicate
    UK-Ven-medicate gillian0503

    Posted

    Hi Gillian,

    With the time of year it might just be a small blip, something short term.

    I am feeling low as I have been told I can't see my children this Christmas. On top I see to have got another abdominal pain.

    J

    • UK-Ven-medicate
      UK-Ven-medicate

      Posted

      Depression Alliance

      Depression Alliance brings people together to end the loneliness and isolation that so often comes with depression.

      Its support network is a safe, friendly and easy way to share understanding, information and friendship through depression and recovery.

      Whether you’re currently going through a period depression or you’re exploring recovery, Depression Alliance can put you in touch with others who understand; this may be through their self help groups, or through Friends in Need, a supportive community for people living with depression.

       

  • nick34171
    nick34171 gillian0503

    Posted

    Ah sorry to hear that Gillian, even when you know bad news is coming it still can hit you like a rock. Especially if you were having a day to remember as being nice. As for work, if they have let you go due to depression/ being ill it's probably best if you talk with the benefits people straight away to apply for ESA and then maybe visit your Doctor and tell him/her how you are feeling, the ESA will give you time to be think about what you want to do and discuss with the Dr what the next step is in helping you. Don't let the low moods win and stay shut away. You're a tough cookie! Everybody here is a bag of tough toffee, chewy, chocolate bag of cookies! Lol now i'm hungry. Damn it smile
    • gillian0503
      gillian0503 nick34171

      Posted

      Work related not due to my depression in fact they have been really good, Budget cuts leading to working hours being cut.  Its just another thing to add to the string of things lately, never seem to be getting a break from stuff.  Tough cookie....i wish Nick i really do, think that's why I crumble so easily. 
    • michael_37726
      michael_37726 gillian0503

      Posted

      I know what you mean as having your hours cut means financial problems on top of everything else. I'm self employed and don't have any work until April and can't go on benefits. I live alone and have to pay all the rent, bills ect and am skint as I was the victim of a scammer recently and lost every penny I had. Apart from that everything is bloody wonderfully lol x
    • gillian0503
      gillian0503 michael_37726

      Posted

      Financial worries are always top of the list.  You have your own set of worries, sorry to hear about them.  Maybe 2015 will bring us all a bit of luck financial and otherwise.  Life should be bloody wonderful we just strive to find that wonderful part  x
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