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Keep scaring myself :(

Posted , 12 users are following.

tanya99
tanya99

I keep getting really scared because I keep thinking about what if I don't have full control over my actions body and I just lose it without even knowing or without it being intentional and I just worry myself so much, like after all these storys you hear on the news about killings and rapes ect and I just worry myself like what if I ever did that because anybodys capable and I start freaking out and I keep feeling like my heads going to blow up because I question if I'm in control or whatever. I can't even be around anybody because I'm like 'what if I did this'' and then it's like ''am I actually in control of myself'' and my head feels like it's gonna swell and pop! sad can someone help is this normal for anxiety seriously or am I actually just a messed up little weirdo??

0 likes, 21 replies

21 Replies

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  • ruby05
    ruby05 tanya99

    Posted

    Hey girl,

    Stop worrying about this. Your mind is playing tricks on you. I think anxiety suffers have weaker psychology than others without and so our minds are impressionable and cling to things we don't like. I hope that makes sense. Accept that you're having strange thoughts and move on. Remind yourself your mind is sending you error messages and that's all it is. The more you fear your thoughts the bigger they get. Thoughts are just thoughts. They aren't important.

    Ruby x

    • tanya99
      tanya99 ruby05

      Posted

      I keep questioning though if I would ever do it, do I think it's right blahblah and I just don't know I scare myself so much and I literally just wanna lock myself away forever. I don't know how I feel about anything anymore it's all just so overwhelming and stressful. I got so far ad now I'm back here again sad
    • ruby05
      ruby05 tanya99

      Posted

      Hey girl,

      I read in a panic attack book once that if you have a setback that you should be proud of yourself instead of beating yourself up because you can't have a setback if you didn't already move forward in the first place. Remember this when you're being hard on yourself and then go back to "thoughts aren't important". They're stories in our heads and we don't have to believe them.

      x

    • ruby05
      ruby05 tanya99

      Posted

      Ps don't lock yourself away you're not crazy. Focus on practicing thought defusion techniques. Look it up if you haven't heard of it. And then engage in something you value.
  • Aspinan
    Aspinan tanya99

    Posted

    Ruby is right, although we don't have a weaker psychology than others we just have a chemical issue.

    if your thinking about it then you are in control of it, your not a psychopath or anything like that, you are totally in control of your " actions" if not your thoughts.

    N

    • tanya99
      tanya99 Aspinan

      Posted

      It's like I question it though, it's one thing after another with me I am absolutely sick of it my life feels so dramatic and I just cannot be arsed with it what so ever I'm getting so angry now :@

      I just want to be a nice, good grounded person not questioning myself and if I'd ever do this that and whatever it's absolutely devistating I have a life ahead of me and I don't want to be living it like this!!!

    • Aspinan
      Aspinan tanya99

      Posted

      I know Tanya, I had the same thoughts when I was first ill many years ago. Let me reassure you that you definitely won't lose it and do anything you think your going to do, believe me you are totally in control of your actions its just your over thinking it and that's all, it's just an anxious thought your dwelling on. 

      You are a nice person otherwise you wouldn't be concerned with your thoughts, you are a grounded person for the same reason, it's just you have an anxiety issue.

      Dont you worry, your not mad, your not bad and you will get better! Neil 

    • tanya99
      tanya99 Aspinan

      Posted

      I really did think I was getting somewhere with it and I sort of relapsed on monday because I felt stressed and abit lonely because of some stuff with friends and then I had to speak to a councilor but I really did not want to because it brings back feelings that I've got rid of and makes me relapse because that's happened the past 3 times I've spoke to her and she doesn't seem to do anything than give me sympathy and makes me feel worse sad
  • anonymousgirl21
    anonymousgirl21 tanya99

    Posted

    I sometimes feel like this but in a different way like sometimes I wonder 'what if for some reason I just lose control of my body and can't move my arms, legs etc. What if my brain isn't working' bla bla bla really.

    It's not your actions that you're not in control of, it's your thoughts. Anxiety is evil and floods us with these ridiculous, irrational thoughts and fears and you just have to learn to ignore them or to fight back and let them know that they can't win.

    If you're seriously worried about harming others though you should go see your GP about it, or phone Samaratins they're open 24/7 for confidential talks.

    Feel better soon. X

    • tanya99
      tanya99 anonymousgirl21

      Posted

      I was fine though, I was doing so well which is why I'm getting so angry!! I have always been such a strong minded person and I feel like there's a block on my mind, every time I say something positive to myself there's just that negativity to back it and it's honestly so annoying I hate it I just wanna be around my mum all the time but I get scared because of my thoughts like I constantly question myself like what if i did do this, what if this what if that and sometimes I get scared and sometimes I try let it blow over which then again makes me scared as I now feel it's something to be afraid of sad I actally just want to run away from myself sometimes it makes me cry
  • gillian81509
    gillian81509 tanya99

    Posted

    When we're all stressed out then all sorts of things worry us I really don't think you are capable of rape and you are to anxious to be a psychopath or sociopath etc they don't have feeling or worry or care like you do

    Hope that helps

    • tanya99
      tanya99 gillian81509

      Posted

      Well you see because you've said that now I'm questioning if I do care and worry about it when I usually do, it's like my mind wants to trick me or test me or something I just don't know. I know I'm bothered because it was only a few moments before I read your comment I was worrying about it... 
    • gillian81509
      gillian81509 tanya99

      Posted

      Sorry Tanya

      yes of course you care or else you wouldn't be here on these sites chatting away

      so don't worry gosh I was lucky when I was 15 didn't have www etc by the time I'd been out with horse groomed him cleaned tack cycled home done chores all I had to worry about was tuning into radio Luxembourg and sighing over some pop star or doing homework

      can you do something in line with a modern version take up a hobby etc

      whose your favourite author artist

      Are you arty or creative

      do you enjoy cooking or gardening

      walking dog

      animals in general

      volunteering

  • alicia37109
    alicia37109 tanya99

    Posted

    I have expirenced this also, where I question what I'm capable of, to the point that i make myself feel sick and i was inconsolable because there were times when i thought i could do something really bad. I suffer from intrusive thoughts so at one point this was like an everyday occurance. You are not a messed up weirdo, you really aren't. My counsellor once told me that the fact that these thoughts upset me so much shows how much I dont want to do those things and you would be suprised how many people have such similar thoughts. It's just that those who suffer from anxiety tend to have a more exagerated response. Please believe that you are a good person and these thoughts don't define who you are.
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