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lack of understanding from friends with no experience of THR

Posted , 19 users are following.

hippy28
hippy28

I'm 7 weeks post op so am now walking well on 2 sticks and sometimes 1 if not uneven. I'm out of hip precautions so can drive and am trying to get back to normal slowly. Though I've been told not to lift anything heavy, walk through mud or ride my horse until 12 weeks.

So on the surface I must seem 'normal'.

I went to the stables this morning to see my horse and just do some gentle grooming. When I asked someone if they could take my horses rug off as it was heavy, I was told it's not heavy and to stop milking the situation.

Later as the weather was lovely some of the people were going riding. I said I wished I could join them but I've got to wait until 12 weeks.

Again the reaction was they wouldn't bother with that, they'd get on and ride and that I should be doing more.

I just replied that I'm not risking the progress I've made so far and that the muscles take a long while to heal after major surgery.

Has anyone else had experience of friends showing lack of understanding.

2 likes, 35 replies

35 Replies

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  • lisa31002
    lisa31002 hippy28

    Posted

    One of my friends asked if the surgeon had done my op by keyhole surgery !? My boss was very good and popped in to see me a few times after work but even she was asking why I was so stiff and sore in the mornings when I started back at work in Jan. 🛀

    • judith12644
      judith12644 lisa31002

      Posted

      My friends were all lovely, and v supportive, but like you Lisa, one of them thought it was done by keyhole surgery. Not sure how she thought that was possible!
  • hope4cure
    hope4cure hippy28

    Posted

    Exactly the same  scenery I had not only with friends and family too.Unbelievable how uncaring so many so called friends are. I rode my horse 8 months after first hip replacement it was cemented and screwed used in my late fourties as long as you post when riding . Start out slowly. As my horse was a Tennessee Walker with a gait that was gentle not bumping up & down just walks at first. Keep walking with horse on level ground training even if you cannot ride. keeps the horse with good ground manners and training . Keep that connection.This will help u with confidence when the doc can release you to ride again. Every little thing is so difficult. Teach your horse to not be afraid of reachers and use reacher to remove coat and teach horse to respect ur limitations. Reachers can be used to also put halter on and many other things.

    Ignore the others they have no idea what you are going thru. Just concentrate on getting better and training your horse. They get barn sour over winter.Get the horse at a super gentle manners train, train, train, they are great therapy just to lunge line or walk on lead around. They love grooming. 

    Dont let the stable people bait you abuse you in any way. They are ignorant to what you have been thru and are not your friends.

    give it time and soon you can be back on your horse gentle walks for a few minutes at a time to build up confidence with the horse , always take it slow.

    Hugs,

    HOPEXXX

    • hippy28
      hippy28 hope4cure

      Posted

      Thank you so much hope for your post. I spoke to one of the people concerned this evening and they said it was meant as a joke. I let her know it was very hurtful and bad taste.

      I'm very lucky in that my horse is very sensible as she's had to put up with a lot with me before my op. I've also had someone working her for me.

      It's so true what you say that just going to the stables and building up that bond again with my horse is good therapy. She certainly loves being groomed.

      I'm so looking forward to getting on board again but know I'll be nervous like a beginner again. Hopefully my confidence will grow.

    • hope4cure
      hope4cure hippy28

      Posted

      Confidence will grow and your bond with your horse will be stronger. My hoste saved my caboose so many times on trails and competition.  They are very wise and tune into our needs.i miss having them. 

      You'll be back in the saddle for summer. Yeah!😄

    • hippy28
      hippy28 hope4cure

      Posted

      Thanks hope, I certainly hope to be back riding by the summer months.
  • maureen44782
    maureen44782 hippy28

    Posted

    I cannot believe their uncaring attitude!  That's just awful!  Let them know how unsympathetic they are and that it will take months for your muscles, tendons and nerve endings to knit back together!  I bet if their horses had just one torn muscle they'd be gushing!  You've had major muscles cut!  Shout out, loudly!

    • hippy28
      hippy28 maureen44782

      Posted

      You are so right Maureen that if one of the horses had a torn muscle or tendon they would be so worried. They honestly have no idea.

      I spoke to one of the people concerned and was told they were only joking and not serious. I let them know that it was in bad taste and they apologised.

  • hazel14263
    hazel14263 hippy28

    Posted

    Oh god how daft some people are ! I am sorry but I feel I want to say here you are mate .. you have this experience and see how it feels . Ignore everyone like that and only surround yourself with the sympathetic ones. It's way too early for you to be doing such things !!!

  • jill89470
    jill89470 hippy28

    Posted

    I am 7 weeks on Monday with my second hip replacement and see the consultant on Monday and I am hoping to dive and slowly get back to normal. I am a foster carer and yesterday we had a young girl leave us and I had a phone call to ask if I could clear her room and get everything packed up as someone would collect her stuff in about 2 hours. I felt fine and set about packing all her stuff up (she had loads) when it was done I stripped all the bed and hoovered the room. I still felt fine,this was the most I had done since my op,last night I was in bed by 8 and all my legs and ankles swelled up. I am fine this morning but have learned I need to remind myself and others that this was a major operation and take it easy for at least the 12 week mark. If I was in a workplace I would still be off sick for 12 weeks. We all need to listen to our own bodes !
    • sue13845
      sue13845 jill89470

      Posted

      I agree- seems to me it's two steps forward and one backwards a lot of the time- I'm really bad at pacing myself at the best of times!

      The first thr was distinctly easier then this one has been, not withstanding unexpected complications

    • hippy28
      hippy28 jill89470

      Posted

      Wow Jill you did do a lot. I think you're like me in that in my head I think I'm ok as I'm walking round the house without my sticks and there's no pain so I must be ok.

      It's only when you do that bit too much your hip lets you know about it.

      Your lucky that you get to see your consultant at your check up. I just saw a physio. She was very good though and answered all my questions.

      I've been told that I can go back to work at 10 weeks but on a phased return. So I'm doing 5 days then a week off.followed by 2x 5 day weeks followed by another week off and then back to full time. But I'm not allowed to do any heavy lifting or sitting still for long periods and I'm to still use 1 stick so that colleagues know that I'm not quite 100% yet.

      Hopefully I'll be ok.

  • Carrie1974
    Carrie1974 hippy28

    Posted

    Hi hippy. I think it's normal for anyone not going thru this to pass judgment. Everyone keeps telling me I'll be just fine after my surgery but I don't believe that to be true. As I have to have both legs done. There doing the left first, then the right but the right one feels worse most days. I know I will be great eventually. As will you hon. Just remember advice is free and everyone seems to have an opinion one way or the other. Just stay on track with your healing process and don't let other people get you down.

    Carrie😊

    • hippy28
      hippy28 Carrie1974

      Posted

      Thanks for your comments and support Carrie.

      Good luck with your ops. You'll be a new person afterwards.😊

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