lack of understanding from friends with no experience of THR
Posted , 19 users are following.
I'm 7 weeks post op so am now walking well on 2 sticks and sometimes 1 if not uneven. I'm out of hip precautions so can drive and am trying to get back to normal slowly. Though I've been told not to lift anything heavy, walk through mud or ride my horse until 12 weeks.
So on the surface I must seem 'normal'.
I went to the stables this morning to see my horse and just do some gentle grooming. When I asked someone if they could take my horses rug off as it was heavy, I was told it's not heavy and to stop milking the situation.
Later as the weather was lovely some of the people were going riding. I said I wished I could join them but I've got to wait until 12 weeks.
Again the reaction was they wouldn't bother with that, they'd get on and ride and that I should be doing more.
I just replied that I'm not risking the progress I've made so far and that the muscles take a long while to heal after major surgery.
Has anyone else had experience of friends showing lack of understanding.
2 likes, 35 replies
Rocketman_SG6UK hippy28
Posted
Friends just don't 'get it' - they think it's a 'walk in the park', a 'routine operation'.
The truth is that it's a really major operation, and a long hard recovery.
I'm afraid the only people who knoEven the doctors and nurses don't seem to appreciate it.
Best wishes
Graham - 🚀💃 🤸
hope4cure Rocketman_SG6UK
Posted
really sad how THR is like you say supposed to be a walk in the park. H#*l NO,
beth2509 hippy28
Posted
Absolutely not! Any "friend" who acted like that would very quickly end up on the ex-friend list. In fact, one did! Although, to be fair, she'd been working her way onto it for a couple of years anyway!
I had quite the opposite experience - too helpful! My friend who lives in the next street cooked dinner for me every night for a month and delivered it - great curries! It was with a heavy heart that I told her I needed to start trying to manage more myself, and we compromised on another two weeks of every other night. All the little things that I forgot to order on the deliveries, my friend next door did, and her husband became my light bulb changer ( how come they all decided to die in the same period that I couldn't get up step ladders?).
Returning to work, friends at work keep an eye out - nothing over the top but if I seem to struggle they ask if they can help.
My best friend, who lives quite a long way away, phoned every couple of days just to see if I was ok. Nobody has even once thought of "joking" about this.
hippy28
Posted
Thanks for all your comments and support about my 'friends' and their lack of understanding.
Having spoken to one of the people concerned and told them that their joke was in bad taste, it was interesting this morning when I went to the stables to see my instructor exercising my horse.
I think word had got around that i wasn't my usual self and it was as if they were treading on egg shells around me. They were even asking if they could do things for me.
It felt strange. I just wish I could get back normal. I know its a long journey.
It's good to talk to people on here who understand.
julie40975 hippy28
Posted
if they are offering now let them you must take it steady. Had to remind my family I still need some help. Some days I get really frustrated trying to do things but I'm getting there in time 🐎you'll soon be back in the saddle
Julie