lets tell a story

By the skull and crossbones on the flag you could tell it was a pirate ship.

The captain orders the crew to prepare for action, and picks up his telescope, to take stock of the situation

He yells "Avaast Backsoid", when he catches sight of the 'derriere' of his landlady through his  telescope......

my goodness he cried its gone totaly dark ,it must be a eclisps

"No", said he, "It's just one of those stormy nights that I remember so well, when my Midshipman said to me', "Captain Cameroon tell us a story". and the story began:

"It was a dark, stormy, night.

The Sailor was on his first assignment, and it was guard duty.

The Captain stepped out taking his dog for a walk.

The nervous young Seaman snapped to attention, made a perfect salute, and snapped out ," Good Evening, Sir!"

The Captain, out for some relaxation, returned the salute and said

"Good evening Seaman, nice night, isn't it?"

Well it wasn't a nice night, but the Sailor wasn't going to disagree with the Captain, so the he saluted again and replied

"Yes Sir!".

The Captain continued,

"You know there's something about a stormy night that I find soothing, it's really relaxing. Don't you agree?"

The Seaman didn't agree, but then the seaman was just a seaman, and responded

" Yes Sir!"

Then the Captain, pointing at the dog said,

"This is a Golden Retriever, the best type of dog to train."

The Seaman glanced at the dog, saluted yet again and said

" Yes Sir!"

The Captain continued

"I got this dog for my wife".

The Seaman simply said,

"Good trade Sir!"

oldens are the best 

I have deleted the post above as well as the discussion started with the same content. Please do not copy and paste whole articles from other sites and paste them in the forums. If you want to discuss the implications etc of an article this is fine but you do not need to paste the whole article as this may breach copyright of other sites. You can just advise users where the full story is ie which paper or Google the headline etc.

never thought public news would be copyrighted 

normaly if something is copyrighted

you are unable to  high light  copy and paste it.

as with some song  lyrics

,some you can copy and paste and some are protected and you cant .

as far as i knew it was the same with everything .

Every single thing we write here, including what I'm writing now is copyrighted, but not by us, by the website.

Should have said, ultimately by google, they copyright everything. They even copyright our names, photos etc, they own us!

talk about big brother and 1984

" What do you mean, it's Earl Grey, we want Tetley's " non of that fancy muck"

The cook hitched up his apron and said 'Oh well if you feel like that' and stormed off in a huff.

As he stormed off in a huff, his arse swaying from side to side, Sharon Osborne sticks her head out of a port hole stating !

" Your so money supermarket darling"

At that very moment Ozzy Osbourne wandered onto the scene in a drug-induced state shouting, “where the f**k have I been?”  

to which Sharon said, “the same place as usual dear, in fairyland”.

‘Ozzy replied ‘I thought we were doing a Black Sabbath gig’,

to which Sharon replied ‘it’s Thursday dear, you remember what happens on a Thursdays don’t you?’

‘Ah yes dear’, says Ozzy, ‘it’s the day they polish my brain, because if they don’t I start twitching’, ‘yes dear says Sharon’.

By this time Ozzy is twitching quite badly, so he flips-up a catch on his forehead removes his brain and puts it on the table.

At that very moment the cook saunters by, seeing Ozzy’s brain says ‘Lunch’, at which point he grabs it and makes off with it to the galley.

Ozzy looks up at Sharon and says ‘do I need that dear?’

to which Sharon replies, ‘you’ve managed perfectly well without it for the last 30 years’.

An hour or so afterwards the Captain, the crew, Sharon and Ozzy all sit down to lunch, and the captain turns to the cook and says

‘Cooky this is delicious, what is it?’

to which the cook answers,

‘sorry didn’t I tell you sir, it’s Ozztwitch’.

Please don`t ask ,you will be given this to eat whether you like it or not ,with that ,the ship turned completely upside down ,all on board were swallowed up into a raging sea,arms and legs were everywhere ,people shouting and yelling ,but there didn`t