lets tell a story
Posted , 6 users are following.
The sun shone out from behind the clouds of a deeply calm spell bound day
3 likes, 24 replies
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Notes on lets tell a story
GeorgiaS tiswas24537
Posted
archemedes GeorgiaS
Posted
‘Ahoy me hearties, Head Norwest by West’, cried the captain, and off they set off at 15 knots in a brisk breeze.
After 3 days at sea the Bosun spotted a desert island and the Captain decided to put in to replenish supplies.
The dinghy was lowered and a party of crewmen set off for the island.
It was then that they saw a party of 5 ragged men running towards them along the beach.
The captain drew his musket and shouted to the men
“Avast Ye, what thou be about on this 'ere deserted island?”
The leader of the ragged men came forward and told this story......
“We’ve been ‘ere for five years and six months”, he said.
“We were five men and one woman and we washed- up on this ‘ere desert island after a shipwreck.
Before long we were all getting pretty horny so we made a deal.
Each man would marry the woman for one week at a time, at which point the next man in line would marry her and so on.
Every man would get sex every five weeks and the woman would get sex as often as she wanted with a different man each week.
The situation worked wonderfully for five years, when the woman suddenly died...
The first week after wasn't too bad.
The second week was getting sort of bad.
The third week was getting pretty bad.
The fourth week was really bad.
The fifth week was horrible!
By the sixth week it was unbearable...
so we buried her.”
GeorgiaS archemedes
Posted
archemedes GeorgiaS
Posted
Nevertheless the Captain thrust his trusty rum bottle down her throat, and after many glugs of the amber nectar the woman arose from the dead, a little like Lazarus did in the bible.
Ozzi was completely amazed by this feat and said to Sharon
“What’s the chance he could do the same for me?”,
and Sharon replied,
“Ozzi you’re not dead yet, but it can be arranged”.
Anyway, the ship was re-provisioned and the Captain beckoned everyone back on board, and they set sail for New England.
After the liberal application of Ozztwitch grease the woman gradually regained her former beauty, but she felt that there was now something lacking in her life.
Gradually she became more and more depressed, and decided to end it all by throwing herself into the sea.
Just as she was about to do so, a handsome young sailor ran down to her from the foc’s’l and said to her, “There is so much you could be doing with your life. This ship is putting into port in New England in the morning.” He continued, “I’ll smuggle you on board a merchant ship leaving for Brazil where you can start a new life in the sun. I'll make sure you have plenty of food for the journey, if you’ll just help me to pass the lonely evening hours away."
That sounded great to the young women who immediately took up the offer, living secretly in a cabin on board the merchant ship.
Every evening the sailor would bring her some food, and the two would spend the night together.
After about three weeks of this, one day the ship's captain discovered the woman hiding in the sailor's cabin.
"What are you doing in here?" asked the captain.
"Well, I have a deal with one of your sailors. He is smuggling down to Brazil, and he's screwing me in return."
"What a good idea!" replied the captain.
"Did he tell you that this is the Isle of Wight Ferry?"
GeorgiaS archemedes
Posted
He said 'Why don't you blow their brains out with all these air guitars, play them so loud that they go deaf and writhe in agony, take control of the ship, go to Brazil, take us with you and dump them on the way?'
Sharon patted ozz on the head and said 'Not bad love!'
Ozzy replied 'Well you did marry me because I'm the prince of darkness'.