Lichen Sclerosis

Dear Marky- Not sure if you’re still checking these messages as there gas been alot of useless bashibg going on. At first I was very upset with your “ I know she’s in pain, but guys have needs too” sentence. In hi dsight, you probably could have worded it a bit better. 

However- I am 26 days diagnosed, last two times ( before diagnosis) we had sex it took me almost two weeks to calm everything down. Clit was twice its size and so tender I coukd not wear pants, peneyration at that point was still okay. I believe the fluids produced by BOTH of us are very irritating, especially if skin is compromised. Using a cool washcloth right after and getti g it all cleaned up as soon as possible may help. We hv had a bery healthy sex life prior to my LS diagnosis and I too, am worried that that may change. In addition to the pain and itching your girlfriend experiences, there can also be structural changes to her “ lady parts”. I don’t know how much you hv read, but her laboa could fuse together, her vagina could get more and more narrow and close off, her anus could be compromised by scar tissue and fuse shut. These are extremes, but can happen. Creams to soften skin, dialators to keep her open and ointments to unfuse are possibilities. 

I hv not had sex since my diagnosis, but am healed enough now to want to try. I can twll one of my labia has already shrunken and may be gone soon and I don’t want my husband to see it and freak, so I may not do oral or only in the dark? We women are as scared and confused as you are anout our sex lives being altered. By after 31 years together, we are going to hv to take is slow and see what works? As my husband and having taken vows begore God, in Church, he has a vested  interest in making accomodations. The  creams I am using Emuaid and Emuaid Maxx hv relieved all of my pain and itching and I can feel the fissure ( scar tissue) near my butthole is softer and more yielding. 

My advice is to be supportive, take it slow and see what happens. If you cannot do this, it Is of no benefit to your girlfriend or to you. As a Mom of three in their 20’s, I know how things can tear couples apart. I would expect my own son to be all in or own up to his own inabilities to be there for the long haul- this disease if forever. 

Good luck!No judgement here. 

Dearest Marky,

I am so sorry! It's a horrendous disease to say the least...

My husband and I had a very active happy, healthy, sex life until this horrible condition reared it's ugly head and that was about 4 years ago. I cannot speak for anyone but myself and how it has affected me and my relationship with my husband. We have not been able to have vaginal intercourse at all. It's heartbreaking to both of us. We love each other dearly...

My pain level is too excruciating and at this point unless something miraculous happens I doubt we will ever have vaginal intercourse again. (I'm being very frank and honest) Some women on here say they can manage to have intercourse but sadly that has not been the case for me. Since the two of you are not married and sex is a huge part of a vital happy, healthy marriage then just move forward with your eyes wide open knowing what you are up against. My advice is, if you cannot be faithful and support her and deal with this illness then you may need to move on. Sad but true...

My heart goes out to both of you!

God bless you both as you move forward...