life is too hard
Posted , 7 users are following.
I just feel I don't wanna be here anymore. I cant be bothered doing anything, getting dressed or even washed. I keep thinking maybe if I asked my partner to leave it may help. Everything he does makes me angry and he never let's me out of his sight!! I just smashed the toilet up in anger and cut my hand. My finger didn't stop bleeding for ages. He has a go about my kids all the time and I'm sick to death of it. I feel like taking all my pills but I would be ruining my kids life's too if I did that. I'm trapped! I can't take much more
3 likes, 24 replies
Hakuna_matata sandy67
Posted
Hi sandy I'm so sorry you are so down,it seems after ready your story and the comments thereafter you feel trapped and maybe the relationship is extremely one sided my fear is you are possibly dating a sociopath whom intentionally or not is more of a controller of you than a partner you really don't need that right now your children are your children and rightly so will always be your priority if he can't see or except that then you really do need to get shut of him he seems more concerned about his own needs than that of yours which would indicate an equality problem in your relationship I feel that he has taken your zest and your now somewhat of a recluse like a prison or in your own home I am also aware it's not easy to leave someone you have spent time with you become part of each other's lives and practically forget what your life was like before that person starting out alone again is always scary I get that totally but ask yourself what's the alternative if your children are in the 20s I'll take a stab in the dark and say your at most 45 now stop think about this you could live another 45 years consider how you feel look at some facts do friends and family visit you do you go out when was the last time you did anything for yourself when was the last time you went out with friends for a girlie night if you can't even remember then consider this do you want that for the next 45 years sometimes you got to love yourself enough to take a leap of faith a partner is meant to help you through tough times my love not put you through them my thoughts are with you and I hope for your own sanity you stop and think about how you want the future to be X
sandy67 Hakuna_matata
Posted
Hi thanks for your reply . I know you're right. Right now I can't stand him being in my home, the sight of him is making me angry. I haven't seen friends for ages. I went a few months ago after work to visit a friend for an hour and he kept texting me asking when I was going home! I remember arranging to meet a friend for lunch that I hadn't seen in years, he insisted on coming with me!! So I ended up cancelling and still haven't seen her, that was when we first met about 3 and half years ago. Today has been dreadful. I'm scared to say anything. I feel like a bag of nerves, not that he has ever hit me, his face just makes me feel nervous, his moods. My place is a mess and I cant stand it, he doesn't care about leaving empty coke bottles all over the place. I know what i have to do I just need to find the strength. I feel guilty. I'm 50 this year, my kids are 23 and 20 and my world. I never get to spend any time with them cos he is with me every day all day! I really need to get my life back, thank you!
amanda35274 sandy67
Posted
Aww sandy hope you find the strength. U sound so unhappy. U have the right to see your children & friends without walking on eggshells xxx i hate that feeling of someone elses insecurities and moods as it sets my anxiety off. I wish u all the happiness & strength to find it xxx
sandy67 amanda35274
Posted
Thank you Amanda. I just feel I want my own space.. I don't want to be in a relationship. All I want is my space back and time to be with my children. He makes me feel guilty too cos I'm not interested in the slightest in sex and haven't been for ages. I can't help that, with having physical problems as well as this damned depression and also perimenopause. I may have ms and that is on my mind a lot too, walking is too painful as is everything else. I haven't cooked a meal for ages and I used to love cooking so much. I used to love walking with my dog and would walk for hours, even on my own I loved it. Well, one day at a time I suppose. Hope you are well? Xx
amanda35274 sandy67
Posted
amanda35274 sandy67
Posted
Hi sandy ive been thru the same twice now im 43 had to find the strength its hard but i did it. Im physically unwell with migraines & on antibiotics as well so ive been better but finally mentally on the mend from this bout. Xx thanks for askin hun. Thats a lot to cope with & maybe ur partner has insecurities & issues which he is passing on to u. But yr not responsible for anyone else's choices & moods etc he should try to get some help if indeed he thinks theres a problem with his behaviour my exes didnt xx you need to put u & your children even now they are grown first. Good luck huni xxx
sandy67 amanda35274
Posted
Ok thanks i just checked messaging and I had private messaging turned off for some reason. Can't remember why! I have turned it back on xx
sandy67 amanda35274
Posted
I'm glad you're feeling a bit better and thank you again! Xx
amanda35274 sandy67
Posted