Life of a dizzy person

Posted , 8 users are following.

This life is hard and lost.  Never knowing what each day will bring, waking up with anxiety and fear of how much and how long the dizziness, headache or anxiety will last.  Praying each night and asking for help for everyone and your self who has this condition.

Each day is hard for someone who is battling to be normal and forgetting what its like.  Crying for loss of just little things that are hard to do.  Sitting down to just relax and suddenly feeling the dizziness running through the entire body, then the fear and frustration coming with it and feeling so alone, even though there is room filled with people.  Sitting and watching others just laugh and move around you and thinking, it must be so nice to not being thinking about being dizzy and off balance,  to be able to sit and enjoy dinner without feeling like you are moving and might fall off the chair, you have to barely move to eat because your busy trying not to be dizziness.  Everyone at the table has no idea what your going thru just to eat, something so simple has become a chore at times.

You can no longer make plans, because you don't know how you will feel, so your world becomes much smaller.  You don't want to tell someone you'll be somewhere only to disappoint them with the phone call telling them your not well again, your dizzy, your anxious, your head hurts.  Your family and friends try to understand and be supportive, but you know they can't possibly get this, so your world become a bit smaller again.  You try to do things around your house, something as simple as vacuuming a floor becomes an enemy, why because as you move your self forward and backward withthe vac you can feel it starting and God only knows how long it will last after you've finished, will it be and few hours or days? Simply washing dishes becomes a dizzy starter, you standing there washing and looking out a window and you feel it, the floor is moving up and down, you know your doomed again.  Cooking dinner is another chore that it has become, moving around the kitchen, looking up and down,moving from one counter to another and guess what, dizzy again, how long will it last you wonder, how bad will it become.  Taking a shower has become another enemy, you know as soon as you enter the bathroom the anxiety and dizziness start, you get in the shower and you feel like the entire shower is moving, something as simple as washing your hair and shaving your legs become another chore.  By now you have so many chores of things you used to think nothing about, become things that worry you, that cause you anxiety, that anger you to do becuase of the fear you have.  The same questions everyday, will I be dizzy today, how bad will it be, how long will it last, will the anxiety take over, how depressed can i get, and finally, when will this end?  

Your life has changed so much and all the things you loved have become hard and a chore.  Your depressed and sad but you try so hard to look okay to the outside world.  You asked yourself, what did I do that caused this?  The constant thinking about this and trying to cure it become your life, sure you may have a few days a month that you feel better and you think finally I might be getting well, then the bad days hit and you can't remember days ago when you felt better, instead you become sad again, you become worried again, you think only about this again.  

You try to space out the things you do like vac, mopping, cleaning the bathroom, dusting, shopping, just so you don't get to dizzy.  

You have to now pay attention to what you eat, your loosing weight because your hungery but your nauseas or dizzy and you just don't feel like eating.  You think I'll be strong today and have a tiny cheese on a taco and guess what you pay the price for that.  There seems to be a price for alot of things you do.  

You look in the mirror and you see someone else, some who is tired.  You can look at your eyes and see the sadness, the tiredness and that the light you once had in your eyes, is dull and gone.  You look and feel older.  You try so hard to feel better, you tell yourself daily that your ok, but inside your body and mind feel different.  You try to smile, but you really don't feel like it,  but you want they others around you laughing to think your ok, so you do what you have to.  

You find yourself crying for no reason, your just sad because your not you anymore.  You try to be kind to yourself, at the same time your watching the world and how they are all normal and you pray for this, to no avail.  You wonder mostly is this my life now?  Will I spend years like this? What will happen when I'm older, will I be able to take care of myself?  These thougts are always there. 

By the end of the day, you go to bed, you lay there and think about tomorrow, you cry alone and quietly as you pray for help.  You hope you will sleep better tonight so you might feel better tomorrow.  Before your even awake completely, your looking for it, you feel your heart pounding and the anxiety coming, you again tell yourself your ok and today will be a good day, you must try to believe this.  Then the day begins and with that first slight dizzy feeling, the day is over any hope of a better day, the entire cycle starts again.

Living as a dizzy person is hard and the loss of yourself is even harder. There are days where you wonder if you'd be better off dead, but then you remember there is always hope and you try to pick yourself up and live your life the best you can. 

 

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  • Posted

    Hi Patty. .I'm sure many people on here can identify with this. Take care..Keep up the hope and have faith you will have good days

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  • Posted

    Hang in there Patty. When I was at my worst, I used to give out copies VEDA's list of things for people to know about Vestibular Disorders. People have no idea what it's like to have a disorder like this. I certainly had no clue until it happened to me. There is hope. 

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  • Posted

    Hi 

    I know exactly how you feel.  This is my third episode., after 25 years of gaining normality or somewhere near.   The anxiety is my main problem, cannot eat, cannot sleep.  Full head, noise in ears, dizzy neck, all constant until evening when things settle a bit.  How do people control the anxiety and panic attacks all day long.  Have very few good days.  This time round dizziness is not as dramatic but the anxiety is.  Maybe my age 65.  Have been reading new articles published on research for vestibular conditions and they are now coming to conclusion that the anxiety is probably controlled by the vestibular signals and therefore part of the condition. Not everyone has damage in same place.  My luck to get anxiety.  Thinking of using mdds for a while as I am worn out.  Anyone had any luck with any meds

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  • Posted

    Hi,

    Just read this post, and wow its me recounting my years since having the same problem 5 years ago, and counting.

    Its hard but you know what, its up to you to do something about.

    Am the same thinking, talking, been upset, fed up, but no action

     

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  • Posted

    Hi

    Finally read all the message above, and I can say am not alone. What you have written is exactly the story behind me and how I feel everyday.

    This forum should allow people who have the same problems to meet together as a group and discuss there story and life.

    Jazz

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  • Posted

    Hi 

    Am doing up-date

    Have started Mirtazapine to help with anxiety and sleep .  Gone from 7.5 now day 4 on 15mg.  Total days 17.  Still having anxiety attacks and shaking inside, never know what tomorrow brings.  Only good side I can eat something in the evening.  Trying to stabilised my weight.  Sleep has been on and off but marginally better.  Have  Diazapam for emergencies which seem to be coming more.  Was told will get worse before better.  The days are long. Can take 2 to 4 weeks it seems for any effectiveness, do I carry on- seems I have no choice. - I want to try and reclaim my life.  Just had blood tests.  Anyone on any medication that helps.  How is everyone doing.

    Ruth

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  • Posted

    This just made me cry. If you have never dealt with dizziness it is impossible to understand. I told my husband it is like someone spins you around tens times and and then tells you to live life with constant spinning and dizziness. How are you feeling now? Has it got any better? I keep a journal to record how I feel each week. I am going to pray for you and ask my friends to pray too.
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    • Posted

      Thank you for responding, and thank you for prayers I will be praying for you as well.

      I'm sorry that you're going through this as well. What diagnosis do you have? What are your symptoms? Is there anything that is helping you are you taking any meds? I don't take any meds other than Xanax when I need it because I have had reactions to antidepressants and I'm afraid to try them.

      You are right, this is an awful disorder to have it. It's hard to explain to people how you feel and why you can't do the things normally that you used to. Hopefully and thankfully we all have support systems in our lives to help us.

      I hope that you're doing well and are finding relief and thank you again for your kind words

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    • Posted

      My heart goes out to you. I know what it feels like to be so dizzy you are afraid to move. I take metatroplol for a fast heart rate. I have been taking that for years. Also I take an anxiety medicine before bed and it helps me sleep. Also once a week I take 50,000 D3 vitamin. I refuse medication now. I refused migraine medicine, vicodin and meclizine. I was told by the ENT doctor that meclizine would make my dizziness worse even though that is what it is for. I cried and told the doctor it's all I have. It wasn't really helping but trying to figure what causes dizziness is like trying to catch a ghost. This site has helped me so much. I am going to pray for you. Also there is a book I read that helped me so much. When my dizziness first started. I could not take care of my kids. I stayed in bed for almost two months! I had severe dizziness. I couldn't wash my hair. I couldn't stand in the shower my mom had to help me wash my hair. Such a dark time in my life it's hard to talk about but I went to the Christian store and a book jumped out at me. It called When God Doesn't Fix It. I was like that is me. I read the book and I cried. Words from the book come back to me all the time. I am feeling better not 100%. I am putting a lot I mean A LOT of faith in my vitamin D3 pill to finish making me better. Just like my faith in God I am putting all my faith into feeling better. You have a lot of people praying for you now!

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  • Posted

    Hi Patty. I've been off the forum for a bit. I just wanted to check in with you to see how you're doing. Your eloquent words touched me deeply and I wish there were permanent answers but you're right, our lives happen one day,  and even one moment at a time. I keep generic non-drowsy dramamine and Valium with me everywhere I go for just in case scenarios and depending on the severity of the dizziness. I take Paxil (30 mg) daily to help with depression and anxiety. It may sound hokey but I also meditate daily by coloring mandalas with gel pens. The focused concentration required has helped me regain a sense of being grounded. Thank God for the coloring trend in the US. It's finally caught up with me and I have tons of choices from basic to highly intricate.

    As for me, I was doing very well until my cholesteotoma returned. I am now looking at surgery once again to have the new cyst removed and am facing another run of rehab. Hoping the recovery this time goes better since I now know what to expect. 

    I know I said it before, but there IS hope. I had gotten to mostly normal until the cyst started regrowing. I've gotten my VEDA list back out and I am reminding people around me, once again, this is not a character flaw, this is not my fault, this is not within my current control. I will do what I can, when I can, how I can. And some days I will say "I can't" and when I do,  I mean it. 

    Hold on. You've got us. 

    - Mary

    Emis Moderator comment: I have removed the email address as we do not publish these in the forums. If users wish to exchange contact details please use the Private Message service.

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    • Posted

      Hi Mary

      Thank you so much for your reply. It means a lot that you check and see how I was doing. It brought tears to my eyes knowing that someone cares. It's nice to have support and means a lot to me.

      I'm sorry that you're facing surgery again I hope that it all goes well and that it doesn't cause any dizziness to return. May I ask, did you or do you have dizziness on a 24/7 basis? Did you have any other diagnosis? Mine is MAV and slight am MDDS.

      Recently I have had better days a couple of times a week and of course I will get it with the bad dizzy feeling that could be new and different from the last so of course anxiety comes back and the fear of what will the spring. It's hard going through because you don't know if it's something new and different if he should go back to the doctor and be retested her everything so you waited out and out for the best. Usually the bad days will last about two days and then I will slack off to baseline dizziness, isn't it funny what you can get used to baseline dizziness wow. I do take Xanax on the bad days because I don't want to take any other medicine, they all really scary I've had reactions to most antidepressants.

      I'm glad you are feeling well before this next bout came along and I hope that after it's all done do you feel back to normal again. Was there anything else that you did besides the paxil to help you? I have been doing VRT for four months now and it is helping it's just a long process.

      Again, thank you so much for checking in and I hope everything goes well with your surgery and a speedy recovery

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  • Posted

    Hi Patty. I do care. 

    It took a lot to get me back on the road to "normal" with my first cholesteatoma. I did physical therapy, got hearing aids, took meds as I needed them, was on a medical leave of absence from work multiple times. My eventual diagnosis afterwards was labyrinthitus. 

    Eventually my balance issues became minor issues that would flare up here and there and the vertigo went away completely. It wasn't until the cyst regrew that I started having problems again. People don't understand until they go through it. I sure didn't. My sisters have recently developed balance issues and I have been trying to help them get through it. Nothing prepares you for what you have to face. That's for sure. 

    I'll keep checking on you and will let you know how my surgery goes this time. 

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    • Posted

      Mary

      I hope all goes well and a speedy recovery. I'm sorry your sisters having issues, I hope she finds help. This disorder is just awful. I think today I realized the anxiety and panic with anxiety maybe my thyroid med is off again. I've been doing better the anxiety with the dizzy stuff but this feels different, it's anxiety in waves and Panic attacks, muscles feel weak in the legs and arms, sweating more than a normal hot flash, very irritable and impatient. So I did a blood test today and will see how the levels are and probably change the med.

      I will pray all goes well for you and your sister. Keep me informed

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