Life treats me like crap, but can’t cry

Hi you do have one good thing happened to you - you have some good friends who love you..  

To be honest your story made me cry and you have gone through some dreadful things at your young age.  Being raped wasn't your fault you know - it never is and is always whatever the circumstances the fault of the rapist.

I think you need to get yourself to the doctors asap and get some help.  You need help to deal with all this trauma you have gone through before you can learn to move on with your life. Pick a good friend and tell them a little bit,  not too much and scare them,  but ask them to go with you to the doctor and they can talk for you.  Or you can write it down (print this off here?) and just give it to the doctor.  They have heard and seen it all before. 

The sooner you start dealing with the the sooner you will start to feel a bit better.  Isolating yourself is the worst thing you can do as the more you hide away the harder it is to come out of it.  Still keep doing a few things with friends or on your own even if you aren't enjoying them.  It's important that you do.  x

Hi Ida, it took me years before I sought help for my PTSD that I was formerly diagnosed with. It's really unbelievably difficult to manage with, I am double your age then some the fact that I was raped twice makes me exceptionally some sad, sickened and is causing some frightening flashbacks. You need support after being raped it's not a joke, definitely not. I would see if you can get some support, I have a specialist PTSD counsellor who I see now. You will have bottled all of this up because that's what your brain does. It's a coping strategy really. You can get help via your doctor or health professional.

Hi i only just read your email and all the others on this page and also made me cry i too have been through this at a party by 3 men and by a family member who is dead now, i have told no one about this but my partner, till it became so bad i tried to commit suicide 3 times, even then i still kept quite , i only spoke to a counsellor, but i only told him bits because i was so ashamed, you see my whole life is a lie , my family has so many secrets and i am the only one that knows all of them, and it made me so ill i did not want to be here anymore, the only way i dealt with all of it was keeping buy blocking it out, i had a job i loved , but then i got severe migraines and lost it , i can not work now, i have a lot time on my hands so my mind started to think and i started to cry all the time , and did not know why, i did not want to do anything just like you, not talk to anyone either, my family or my friends i became a recluse , like you i too am good looking even though i can not stand myself , this is what other people tell me, i was as i said a hairdresser and beautician and spend making myself look good and others, but i fell apart, my partner took me to the doctors and i was diagnose with severe depression,gave me drugs made me ill, i finnally spoke to my dad he could see how ill i was, and took over got me in touch with a organisation ,called CARA, look it up they are brilliant deal with what all of us are going through and its free, only thing because its free there is a waiting list to see counsellors but they help you why they look for one in your area, in the meantime, i am so much better , have my good days and bad will not lie to you, its a long road , no quick fix, but you will get better and live a normal life, i have not got there yet but hopefully i will, this forum has helped me a lot, and i only joined about 3 weeks ago, so stay in touch, any help please contact me here or in private message , god bless and take care, sorry so long email , jaybabes xxx