Posted , 11 users are following.
I don't miss....
Waking up in the morning frightened....unti I had that first sip of alcohol.
Throwing up when I brushed my teeth
Going to the store in my pajamas with an overcoat to get alcohol as soon as I could
The look on the store clerks faces when they saw me at 8am
Not showering for days on end
Not eating for days on end
Missing family functions
Getting into bed with my clothes on
Getting into a dirty bed because I hadn't washed my clothes for days
Listening to the men pick up the trash and hearing all the bottles clanging into their garbage trucks
Avoiding phone calls
Sending messages that were drunk messages to people I used to care about
Being distant from my b/f and peope I cared about
Not being able to be there for someone who asked for my help because I was too drunk to drive
Drinking stale beer because there was none in the house
Drinking vanilla extract because I couldn't make it to the store until I had a "shot" of alcohol
Drinking mouthwash at 2am because I had run out of beer and no stores were open
Thinking of drinking "hand sanitizer" because of the large alcohol content when there was no alcohol around.
Driving in my car and needing to take a shot to complete my drive home..worrying about cops stopping me and dragging me into the station.
Going to the hospital at least 1x a month to be rehydrated and detoxed
Missed the ceremony for my dead sponser because I was so drunk
Missing important appointments because I was so drunk
The high blood pressure
The diarrhea (although this is stil a problem)
The vomiting half way thru the day and then resuming the drink
Putting bills aside and forgetting they were due (had to pay 2 months of mortgage in Feb because Jan I totally forgot to pay my mortgage).
When I worked...missing work or not functioning correctly to do my job
Obsessing in the shower before work about how many hours were left before I could have a beer
Sneaking a beer into work when I would work overtime on a Saturday
People at work noticing the decline in my looks
Losing muscle mass and strength in my body
The light hurting my eyes so much that even on rainy days wearing sunglasses
Being afraid to leave the house whilst someone would see how horrible I looked
Having no connection with the outside world via computer or watching TV
Just sitting in one place drinking and smoking as much as I could.
Waking up with bruises and not remembering how I got them.
Not taking proper care of my cat (changing litter or feeding)
I don't miss any of these things....and probably some more that I can not think of right now.
The best feeling in the world for me right now is to get up in the a.m..talk with you guys....eat breakfast.. look forward to my 3pm tea....and what I am going to cook for dinner...getting in my CLEAN pajamas...at around 9...and watching TV...taking the sleeping pills...reading my book and going to sleep with a smile on my face...that I made it another day!
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