Listing all the BAD alcohol gave to me
Posted , 11 users are following.
I don't miss....
Waking up in the morning frightened....unti I had that first sip of alcohol.
Throwing up when I brushed my teeth
Going to the store in my pajamas with an overcoat to get alcohol as soon as I could
The look on the store clerks faces when they saw me at 8am
Not showering for days on end
Not eating for days on end
Missing family functions
Getting into bed with my clothes on
Getting into a dirty bed because I hadn't washed my clothes for days
Listening to the men pick up the trash and hearing all the bottles clanging into their garbage trucks
Avoiding phone calls
Sending messages that were drunk messages to people I used to care about
Being distant from my b/f and peope I cared about
Not being able to be there for someone who asked for my help because I was too drunk to drive
Drinking stale beer because there was none in the house
Drinking vanilla extract because I couldn't make it to the store until I had a "shot" of alcohol
Drinking mouthwash at 2am because I had run out of beer and no stores were open
Thinking of drinking "hand sanitizer" because of the large alcohol content when there was no alcohol around.
Driving in my car and needing to take a shot to complete my drive home..worrying about cops stopping me and dragging me into the station.
Going to the hospital at least 1x a month to be rehydrated and detoxed
Missed the ceremony for my dead sponser because I was so drunk
Missing important appointments because I was so drunk
The high blood pressure
The diarrhea (although this is stil a problem)
The vomiting half way thru the day and then resuming the drink
Putting bills aside and forgetting they were due (had to pay 2 months of mortgage in Feb because Jan I totally forgot to pay my mortgage).
When I worked...missing work or not functioning correctly to do my job
Obsessing in the shower before work about how many hours were left before I could have a beer
Sneaking a beer into work when I would work overtime on a Saturday
People at work noticing the decline in my looks
Losing muscle mass and strength in my body
The light hurting my eyes so much that even on rainy days wearing sunglasses
Being afraid to leave the house whilst someone would see how horrible I looked
Having no connection with the outside world via computer or watching TV
Just sitting in one place drinking and smoking as much as I could.
Waking up with bruises and not remembering how I got them.
Not taking proper care of my cat (changing litter or feeding)
I don't miss any of these things....and probably some more that I can not think of right now.
The best feeling in the world for me right now is to get up in the a.m..talk with you guys....eat breakfast.. look forward to my 3pm tea....and what I am going to cook for dinner...getting in my CLEAN pajamas...at around 9...and watching TV...taking the sleeping pills...reading my book and going to sleep with a smile on my face...that I made it another day!
2 likes, 37 replies
RHGB Misssy2
Posted
I can't touch mouthwash, I try to gargle and the throat tries to swallow it, so it gets spat out after about half a second.
Misssy2 RHGB
Posted
I imagine almond xtract does too
BK522 Misssy2
Posted
The clanging of the bottle bin being take by the recycling collectors... Total shame. I've been there far too often.
But I related most to being afraid to leave the house incase people saw how horrible I looked. There have been days were I haven't showered or washed my hair and look an absolute mess - the only willpower I have on those days is to acquire more drink, I put no effort into anything else. On those days I'll make sure I drive to a store so remote no one will know who I am so they can't comment on my obvious decline.
But my favourite part is the end, simple and serene, nothing better than going to bed with a smile on your face - especially when wearing clean pyjamas.
There's is nothing better than being clean and fresh, especially when you remember the squalor you have subjected yourself to in the past.
Misssy2 BK522
Posted
Your post made me fill up with tears...YES, going to bed with clean sheets, clean pjs and a smile is the best.
I remember being drunk and reading posts like this that reminded me of how broken I became and being p*ssed off at the person for writing it and putting it in my face...which I almost didn't post it for that reason.
BUT...then I thought...even thou I hated those posts when I was struggling with alcohol...some of those posts planted seeds in my head that I needed and grabbed on to when I finally tried AGAIN and AGAIN to be sober.
BK522 Misssy2
Posted
Counting down the hours in work until your next drink - torture.
Drinking on lunch hour just to get through the rest of the day and going back to work hoping no one will come and speak to you so they don't realise you're drunk.
I agree with you, sometimes focusing on the negatives gives you a certain perspective of what has been and what you don't want to go back to.
susan60053 Misssy2
Posted
Misssy2 susan60053
Posted
Chicken breasts...3
onion
garlic salt
pepper
frozen peas and carrots
cream of chicken soup
cream of mushroom
milk
chicken broth
Just thrown in crock pot...ready in 3 hours.
I bought biscuts this a.m. to put the mixture over later.
My b/f will probably opt for the healthier RICE version....but simple to make BUT wouldn't have been simple if I were drinking...I wouldn't have had the energy to go to the store at all. Or set the dish up.
BK522 Misssy2
Posted
RHGB Misssy2
Posted
Biscuits = Plain Scones.
colin30375 susan60053
Posted
May I say, try to put some things right without causing more problems to people you may have upset. And; stop beating yourself up. It's all in the past; you'll have a new life sober - or controlled drinking.
Be kind to yourself. You have an illness; so don't be ashamed.
h1954 Misssy2
Posted
Misssy2 h1954
Posted
I hoped to also plant seeds for anyone still drinking .....I still have the bad cigarette habit and lingering depression...but nothing like I did in January.
BK522 Misssy2
Posted
Misssy2 BK522
Posted
Paper_fairy Misssy2
Posted