Living hell
Posted , 12 users are following.
September 12th, 2021 , my lady and I were at myrtle beach, it was our second day there. we were shopping at the tanger outlets and as we were leaving before I could merge on to the highway I completely blacked out at the wheel. it was maybe 2 or 3 seconds of unconsciousness and as I opened my eyes everything was a blur, everything was splotchy and black and I thought I was having a heart attack. I called an ambulance and got sent to the er down there , they told me it was just dehydration. the following day I felt a little woozy and dizzy in the morning and thought maybe it was the fluids they gave me the night before. we had a dolphin tour scheduled and next thing I know driving down the interstate i blacked out for like half a second 5 times, I git an Uber to the hospital and still nothing. from that day out I was dizzy as hell and we stayed at our hotel the rest of our trip and luckily my cousins were staying 30 minutes from us and one knew how to drive a stick shift so they took us and my car home. from that point forward my life hasn't been the same , I feel like a flag waving on a pole constantly , I'm in constant fear of blackouts and heart attacks, it took me 6.5 months to even try to drive again. I'm in constant fear, constant panic, im dizzy 24/7 ,and im talking super dizzy. i don't enjoy life like I used to ,at all, life isn't the same. I got put on blood pressure meds and zoloft, then in November I got covid and it seemed to make everything worse, and one of my best friends took his own life in November as well. December 6th 2021 I almost took my own life, I got sent to a mental health place for 7 days to detox off of my medicine , ive since tried 4 or 5 other medications ,none have worked , I got taken off my blood pressure meds because lately my blood pressure has been lower rather than high like it was.
I feel like I will never escape this hole I'm in. I don't want to live in fear daily, I don't want to be dizzy daily, I want to get back to my normal self, I want to be able to do the things I used to do. I constantly check my heart rate, ive been to the er countless amount of times, ive had multiple tests with neurology and cardiology, nothing, nothing, absolutely nothing, no answers. I've had 33 appointments with a chiropractor since January and it was the only thing that slightly helped me but not by much ,but now I haven't been in a month because my insurance can't cover anymore visits.
the way I've felt since September last year, Is so disabling, crippling, and depressing. I have had cardiophobia and been a hypochondriac... self diagnosed .... since 2017 but over those years I learned to cope, but these last 10 months I haven't been able to cope, at all. whatsoever. I can't work, drive, eat, sleep, go outside , play with my pets, do the things with my wife that I used to be able to do, I can't do anything at all that I used to be able to do without being in constant panic mode and constant severe dizziness....
idk what to do anymore
im a 23 year old male by the way..
I could go on and on and on ,but this post has been long enough
I just don't know what to do anymore....
0 likes, 16 replies
atz0000 zacbg32
Posted
hello zac, let me start off by saying im 23 years old as well and i am so sorry, i can't imagine how difficult the past several months have been for you. as a fellow anxiety sufferer i completely empathise, my health anxiety has been borderline crippling since i was 14 and because of the pandemic, everything seemed to get worse. ive missed out on so many opportunities and i feel anxious at every little thing, im particularly hyperaware of my breathing and it's just awful not even being able to focus because im focusing on if im breathing "right." i started counseling back in dec but after realising my therapist didn't care that much, i quit and i too feel hopeless. i have slowly begun taking babysteps and stepping out of my comfort zone – if something scares me, i know i have to do it and so i can prove it's not that bad. ive also been trying to research hobbies i can do to keep me occupied whenever im free so i can avoid overthinking. i hope some of this helps you, and gives you comfort you are not alone. my partner has health anxiety related to their heart also, despite all their tests being normal. it's so easy to reassure them and help them make logical connections to calm their mind, whereas for our own selves it can be so difficult. healing is not a linear journey, all we can do is try our best to be kind to ourselves during this time.