Living single with peri is hard

Posted , 12 users are following.

Anyone else out there alone?  I’m not married and have no children.  Peri makes me feel so lonely, especially when something is wrong.  My parents, sister, and nephews live only 10-15 minutes from me, but it seems farther.  I used to be so independent and now just feel so alone and scared.  I feel bad having to rely on them when something is wrong and sometimes I just don’t tell them.  Unfortunately, that makes me feel more isolated.  In the last two years, they’ve seen me through a surgery and several doctors appointments. I also have Crohn’s disease.  I don’t know if I can keep living alone.  It definitely feels better to have company, especially when the panic and anxiety are bad.  My mom went through a few years before her hysterectomy when she absolutely could not be alone, so I know she understands that aspect.  Would love to hear from others in this situation to support each other. 🌸

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  • Posted

    Hi Liz... So sorry you feel isolated and alone... The peri time is an awful physical and physiological Time... Like you, it has made me feel terrible lonely and sad. I am married but have no children and live away from home... I find during peri, you reflect on life and what I missing rather than what you have...life can feel empty but it's not. You just feel this way... Many girls here on this site are married and have families and they feel alone due to the horrible changes in their mind and body.

    Would you consider taking in a lodger or maybe you moving in with someone?

    Being around others can help us take our minds off of ourselves as well as coming in here to vent... I'd be lost without this site as the support has been great.. Are you part of a church group or walking or book club,??

    A place we're there could be a support network for you?

    Hope you feel better soon and continue to reach out here if you need to. CK

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    • Posted

      Thanks, Carol.  I have thought about becoming more active in my church and spending more time with my family.  I miss having the energy and interests that I used to have.
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  • Posted

    I don't live alone but I feel alone as nobody believes me or listens to me,I have ulcerative colitis so I know how hard it is to go through this and have an autoimmune disease on top of it it's horrible. I'm sorry your having a rough time hugs to you hang in there it's got to get better sooner or later.

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  • Posted

    Hi Liz,

    It's Meredith! I am with you on living alone with peri.  I had my period this weekend and I absolutely lost it--hysterically crying, ungovernable anxiety, intense breast and menstrual pain. My poor dog, the only one in the house, was very upset.  Exercise, journaling and my meds for anxiety barely make a dent sometimes. This weekend was one of those times when I wished for a partner who could handle the household and make basic decisions while I just went mad. 

    The flip side is my body feels so gross, the thought of sharing a household while I mentally and physically decompose seems an equally bad option. Like Pamela I have colitis and there are days when my body feels like it can never be whole again. 

    Feel free to PM me any time. I read a new book that might be of interest to you and could use the support as well! 

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    • Posted

      Hi Meredith, good to hear from you.  Yes, the colitis on top of peri is maddening.  Everything would be easier if I didn't feel gross, as you said.  Will send PM soon!

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  • Posted

    I am married with boys so they are no help really.  And at times I do feel alone as well. It can be scary because what if something happens to me and I need extra help.. For 'real' support, I rely on friends, parents or siblings.  Sometimes I don't share everything either-- I just muck thru it.  I'm also in a water fitness class with many other women who experience other health issues.  I plan an outing with friends and also eat the best I can knowing that it will help my body/hormones.

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  • Posted

    Hi! I'm so sorry that you feel alone. It sounds like you have a support system around you. I've gone thru peri now I'm full blown menopause and even though I'm married, I didn't feel very alone sometimes. My husband is so understanding, but I feel like I can't unload on him all of the time.... And on top of it, I'm and anxiety sufferer. So I understand that all to well. Being alone makes everything seem impossible, and yet we dont want to be a burden to anyone or seem pathetically needy all the time. Even with my husband, I sometimes feel alone, residually with my thoughts and insecurities. It's really hard to verbalize every crazy thought that comes into my head. I am on medicine and I do exercise and take vitamins, eat right, but still things aren't ideal.

    Hormones really screw with our emotions, but the bright side of this it's not going to last forever. I really think you need to talk to your mom, and tell her that being alone isn't good for you right now. Maybe move in for a while, or spend a few nights there. I'm willing to bet that you would do it for her.

    I think you should also talk to your gyne for some advice on how to ease some of this. I did a lot of research on line and figured out ways to boost serotonin (the feel good hormone). Most of us hate it, but vigorous exercise is really good for peri/menopause. There's really a lot you can do to feel more in control. I don't have it figured out, but I'm learning. I see a therapist once a week, too, for my anxiety issues. It helps!!!!!!! I pray a lot, go to church a lot, and generally, try to stay busy all day long. Yes, I'm exhausted!

    But I think you need to have a heart to heart with your mom. I'm sure she'd be sad that you struggling. I tell my mom everything and it's comforting that she understands. God bless you, your going to be okay. You will!

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  • Posted

    Hello,

    ​I am only 32 years old and already perimenopausal, which is rare for my age...I am not married and childless. Sometimes I think that my life has been over other times I am trying to give courage to myself and I am thinking of my mother!

    ​I live with her and due to my condition I cannot work. So I am isolated most of the time.

    ​I am intended to take HRT after an ovarian cyst removal because I am very young and have awful estrogen deficiency symptoms

    ​To be honest, I think that my whole body has been conquered by demons due to low estrogen deficiency symptoms! I cannot bear this hell on my own. I need medical help.

    ​I miss my well being, my independency and my old self.

    ​I am still having regular cycles and ovulations. I believe in my case is sth rare autoimmune relative to my ovarian function.

    ​I keep telling myself that there is hope. Keep breath

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  • Posted

    Hi Liz I am single have no children, I have been perimenopause for 4 years I live with my parents as I only work part time can not afford a place of my own, but I feel so alone at times I do go out with friends and go places but even then some times feel detached from them . It is so hard at the moment i am getting bad headache been to doctors having blood tests so feel low just have to keep telling myself it well end 

    Take care 

    Paula 

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