Living with Anxiety

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Days are passing like seconds i no longer feel happy i have forgotten how to live normal happy life i dont find my self motivated any more no matter how hard i try. i have enrolled in college in my dream education Software and Data Base development i all ways loved programming all ways dreamed of writing codes and now even i am learning and studying my dream getting closer to my dream but still i feel like its point less. i dont know why i feel this way i cry in nights trying to figure out why this is happening to me.

why dont i feel any thing i am so sick and tired of this. 

i wear my smiling mask every day go to work and college pretend that nothing happened nothing inside me is killing me making me feel like i am not going to live the next second, my blood is rushing in my heart making it beat faster.

i run to washroom and try taking deep breaths. sad sad sad like its raining on my head 24/7. i sit down and put my head down and think am i the wrong guy who deserve to live.

i think and i think

Doctors keep giving medication. 

slowly killing  inside me making me worried cant find peace no matter how hard i try but hey smile the smiling mask is doing its job and no one around me knows what i am going through.confused

is there any one who feels the same way 

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  • Posted

    I'm really sorry you are having such tough (though that doesn't even come close to how hard it really is) time.  May i ask, what medication have you been trying? 

    I'm going through the same thing, to just mentiona few things, most nights I end up in a ball on the floor in crying fits.  I don't take calls from my family anymore because all they want to here is happy things when I am so miserable and can barely function and talk.  And a lot of days I don't feel like it's worth it anymore. Currently trying to get help with my psychiatrist. 

    I may not be able to help, there are a lot more knowledgeable people here but I can say i understand what you are going through. I wish the best for you, sincerely.

     

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  • Posted

    What do you think is causing this?? I have done some programming code etc good luck 2 you its difficult I found it anyways.

    All the best

    Mackie

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  • Posted

    I don't know how long you have been taking your medicine but sounds like it's not working. I would check into a increase or a different medacine. I hope you feel better soon. Sucks to hide how you feel I do it all the time cause I don't want my kids to see me with anxiety!

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  • Posted

    Also keep at school. I know when I took a break it made my anxiety much worse than it already was.
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  • Posted

    "Also keep at school. I know when I took a break it made my anxiety much worse than it already was."

    I MUST add that I don't want you to have a breakdown over school so if whatever you need to do with school do what's best for you.

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    • Posted

      Played hockey tonight, it's almost like an hour where I can let loose and no anxiety. I was unsure if even play this year cause of anxiety and not enjoying stuff I used 2 like but I'm trying....

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    • Posted

      It was my 3rd game this year, first game sitting in the dressing room bf game I was headaches dizzyness and that but when I got out on the ice I was OK. You feel good when your out there or just being active in general.

      It's weird though I get dizzyness and headaches but out there I didn't. Like I worked today not 2 bad in terms anxiety headaches and that but after I got home and laid down to relax bf hockey my heart was racing I didn't get it but it happens it's anxiety right??

      Good 4 you for going swimming. It's nerve raking to get back into things but you feel good when you do it.

      Mackie

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    • Posted

      Yeah it is anxiety!!! I have done so much research for the last 6 years believing I could find a cure! I haven't and it just plain sucks.i do know that if "I don't mind it don't matter"!

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    • Posted

      Research in terms of anxiety? Like I wasn't thinking about anything couldn't sleep 4 to long Because I had some stuff 2 do bf hockey but I was just laying there trying to rest...

      Then I don't know why I get dizzyness and headaches like ok it's anxiety but how or why is it happening??

      Mackie

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    • Posted

      Honestly I feel like that's the million dollar question! I can be having a great day no anxiety and then all of a sudden I get dizzy scares the crap out of me then sends me into a panic attack. It can be due to shallow breathing, breathing to fast, blood pressure and just about a 100 other things. Here is the thing everyone will experience random dizziness like a head rush the difference is that people with anxiety out more thought into it other people just say I just had a head rush and move on.

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    • Posted

      When I get the dizzy spells it will effect the way I walk like a swaying sensation. Doesn't last long and now I just try and drown it out. I just wonder what brings it on headaches and dizzyness??

      My one friend got anxiety when he moved away from home but he just said he would ignore it for the most part he couldn't focus on pills..but I'm wondering what's going on with me like what's causing this??

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    • Posted

      I don't get headaches that often. I was just told that headaches and dizziness are caused by anxiety Had all the heart tests done and come back fine.

      Doc told me I just have mild anxiety so...

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    • Posted

      I don't.... I was givin pills in July but that was the day bf I went to Vegas so no time to try them and that and if your drinking you can't take pills of course so.

      Long story short I lost the pills but the doc just gave them 2 me for back pocket type of deal like take as needed type of thing not follow a pattern of so much per day type of deal...

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