Lockdown alcohol breakdown, going teetotal from today
Posted , 7 users are following.
Hi,
I've posted on this forum over a number of years popping in from time to time when my alcohol issues have got the better of me. Well it's that time again and it's escalated and got far worse than it has ever been and it's lead me to make the best call for myself and my family, I've decided it's time to go teetotal and leave the drink behind once and for all.
Let me give you a picture of my issues, I've always drank most if not every night of the week from my mid twenties. Well the usual in the past would have been four cans or at worst a bottle of wine, weekends would always be a couple of pints followed by Vodka in the evenings. I'd go through periods where it would be worse but I always felt in control even though I knew I was drink too much and other people were living healthier lifestyles.
Fast forward to 2020, the Covid crisis hits, I'm furloughed from work and I've nothing to get up for other than spending time with my family and even that didn't have any time restraints. Every evening has been the same, Vodka, vodka, vodka. I've woken countless times wondering what happened the night before and more than a few occasions I've had rows with the wife. She's nowhere near the drinker I am and can take it or leave it but at times has felt pressured to drink with me as I've encouraged her.
I'd do the weekly shop in my mask and would load the trolly with bottles and crates of lager as if I were throwing a house party when in reality I was making sure I had my alcohol for the week. Even then that wasn't enough and I'd pop to the local for a bottle of Vodka as the lagers weren't doing it enough for me.
Exercise, believe it or not I've been out on my daily run most days but have shown little progress with fitness and have often only ran the minimum distance as I don't feel up to it.
My wife has now returned to work so she is back in the swing of things life wise and has had enough of my behaviour and is now praying for the day I return to work as she feels this will help me focus and cut my drinking down.
I don't think I can though as every evening I'd get to 7pm and be like a cat on a hot tin roof before finally making an excuse to drink again.
In total I'd say I'm well over 100 units of drank a week and enough is enough I can't carry on like this, I want to be fit and healthy. My appearance is declining with age and the alcohol is putting weight on me which is something I never suffered with in the past.
Today is day 1, I'm trying to be positive but walk about my local area today pubs have been serving lager in paper cups and people have been hanging around enjoying themselves and the temptation has been unbelievable. I haven't drank though and don't want to for my families sakes.
I'm going to come on each day and give a run down with how I'm feeling and how I'm coping with the new life I'm choosing.
It's a sad day as well as I love having a drink to be social. I can't do it any more though, once I start drinking I will want to drink the next night and the next and I will be back in the old routine.
Day 1, feeling positive but worried about how I will feel later on today.
Thanks for reading.
0 likes, 25 replies
Dave8119
Edited
Not good, drank every day since Monday.
Promised my wife I'd stop today, glad you messaged as it's given me extra support knowing someone else cares.
romesh16788 Dave8119
Edited
Hi Dave,
I'm sure the lock down has made a lot of peoples' drinking worse. Glad to see that you're trying to make a change. I can tell you're in the UK from the use of the word 'pub', so one thing I'd suggest is contacting your GP and/or a charity called Forward Trust. My GP put me on to them and I have regular phone calls with a counsellor which really does help. It's all free and I think could make a big difference.
Best of luck!
Robin2015 Dave8119
Edited
It is never too late to stop..sounds like repeat or cliche..but you will regain respect from your family. Robin
Dave8119
Edited
Well since I made the original post I've only had one night off alcohol, I'm drinking again tonight and I'm at the end of the tether.
I need help, I've heard of a clinic called the Bond clinic. I've read up on the drugs you can get to help you but I'm confused do i approach my doctor or do I buy them online.
To make matters work I've been made redundant due to Covid and I'm now drinking through depression and worry..
Im 38 and don't think I'm gonna see 40, I want to see my children grow old but don't think I can break this habit..
I don't want to shame myself to my GP, I'm a weak individual who's destroying his life for alcohol.
Joanna-SMUKLtd Dave8119
Edited
All medicines for treating alcohol misuse require a doctor to assess that they are suitable for you.
A number of doctors offer remote treatment via online video and telephone, but your usual GP is often unable to help anyway, because these medications are part of an overall treatment plan and your GP surgery doesn't often have the staff in place to provide that.
Depending on where you live, you can self refer yourself to your local NHS alcohol treatment centre.
Or, you can approach a private GP, or clinic.
If you are looking at being assessed for The Sinclair Method then there are a number of private providers that you can contact. The Bonds clinic that you mentioned don't seem to offer The Sinclair Method as a treatment.
If you want to be put in touch with a private doctor about The Sinclair Method, then message me and I can give you a couple of doctors to try.
Joanna
Joanna-SMUKLtd
Edited
You are not a weak individual, Dave.
You are simply struggling with a situation that is like a program in your brain, and you need a little help to delete that program, that is all.
It can be done, lots of us here have done it.
Robin2015 Dave8119
Edited
Listen to Joanna since she is the most knowledgeable person on this forum. I always refer people to her charity The C3Foundation. The Sinclair Method is the best. You are NOT weak but simply caught in the hell of alcohol. We have all been there. Sorry to hear that you were made redundant. Try The Sinclair Method. Best of luck Dave. Robin
Robin2015 Dave8119
Edited
How are doing after two weeks? Come back to us Dave. Please. Regards Robin