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Loneliness

Posted , 5 users are following.

carmel83758
carmel83758

Would be great to chat to others who know what it is like. Not people who wish to give me advice, heard it all before and can work things out for myself. I am not lonely because of being too shy to go out or because of

needing advice on where to go and what to do, it is other circumstances.

Please respond if you know what it is like and would like support and can give it without trying to advise me or make suggestions. Am seeking emotional support not practical advice and wisdom.

2 likes, 39 replies

39 Replies

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  • paul45160
    paul45160 carmel83758

    Posted

    I am very lonely too. What would you like to share?
    • carmel83758
      carmel83758 paul45160

      Posted

      Hi Paul, sorry to hear you are lonely. Maybe you would like to tell me your age and some stuff about you. I would be happy to chat with you on here when I have time. Have you got hobbies? Do you live alone? etc.
    • paul45160
      paul45160 carmel83758

      Posted

      I'm 31 and mainly stuck at home due to illness! My hobbies are all house based, reading, writing, making things, keeping animals and well anything to pass the time !
    • carmel83758
      carmel83758 paul45160

      Posted

      Snap. I watch tv, do the garden, read, play with the dogs, cook, write, work. I wont let a day go by where I have not achieved something good.
    • paul45160
      paul45160 carmel83758

      Posted

      That's a good philosophy. I have had a bad day today so made myself go out and then called Samaritans for a chat. Sounds basic but it helped me rolleyes
    • carmel83758
      carmel83758 paul45160

      Posted

      When I have felt very very lonely and down I have rung them. I find it a bit hit and miss, they have tried to advise me to go out and meet people and try to rethink all of the parts of my life that are very well sorted and cannot be improved, which would be totally impractical, pointless or make things far worse.Good idea to ring them but they should not give advice just support and listening.
  • AnonymousWoman
    AnonymousWoman carmel83758

    Posted

    Hi Carmel, 

    I too have felt lonely. I have plenty of friends who I see a lot but sometimes I just felt disconnected from everyone else, even those who I am supposedly close to. It still happens that I'll just feel lonely for no real particular reason. 

    So I think I sort of know how you feel - so you''re not alone on feeling lonely!!!

    anonymousgirl xxx

    • carmel83758
      carmel83758 AnonymousWoman

      Posted

      Hi anonymous, I am not sure you do understand. I can easily go a month without seeing anyone at all. I dont hae all of these friends or family, I really am alone. My phone rarely rings, nobody invites me over etc. That is what I meant.
    • AnonymousWoman
      AnonymousWoman carmel83758

      Posted

      Oh, I'm sorry Carmel. I thought that is what you meant as you said you are not too shy to go out. Sometimes when I have looked up about loneliness, I get advice saying to start a new hobby to make new friends which was irrelevant as I had friends but still felt lonely. I thought you meant that you felt the same way so I was trying to say I could relate to you on that basis. 

      I am sorry I took you up wrong but the last line of what I said is still 100% valid, you are not alone on feeling lonely 

      Best wishes, 

      anonymousgirl

    • carmel83758
      carmel83758 AnonymousWoman

      Posted

      It is ok anonymous no need to say sorry, I know you meant well and I took it in good stead.Just saying it is different for you to how it is for me. If my circumstances were different I would be similar to you probably. Hope you are ok.
    • carmel83758
      carmel83758 catarratto

      Posted

      Have had that feeling if I am with people I don';t like! One reason I prefer to be on myown even when I can have company.
    • AnonymousWoman
      AnonymousWoman carmel83758

      Posted

      I am glad. I thought you were offended which was the last thing I wanted. I am doing better than I used to but I guess coming on citalopram I thought I would get to feel happy, for now it just feels like I am not sad. But I guess it's a step in the right direction. I hope you are OK too smile I think this site is great to be able to chat with people who understand how you are feeling. I guess that's what I meant, sometimes I feel lonely because even so-called friends can seem so oblivious to the pain I could carry inside. They'd think I was happy when really inside I was aching and didn't know how I could say it. I felt blank and empty, immune, numb and incredibly lonely, trapped, scared and hopeless. That was about a year ago. Now, I have low times but I certainly don't feel that bad when I do and I am trying to make sure II never do again. . . I hope you still are able to do fun things for yourself despite your circumstances. Sometimes I like to be with people but sometimes I'd much rather be at home and listen to music or something like that or just to work out my feelings. What is your favourite thing to do? (As you can see I also like to chat, sometimes I can tend to go on a bit too much! Hence the long message!) 
    • carmel83758
      carmel83758 AnonymousWoman

      Posted

      Am all for long messages and chat. It is better to chat to someone nice I get on withand like than be with someone I dont like. Am sorry you feel trapped or lonely or scared at times. But maybe we all feel those things sometimes.

      You cannot go on too long for me.

      A lot of people want to go out allof the time or go on holidays a lot. I love to be in my house and do not need to escape and go elsewhere, with me happiness comes from what is giong on in my head not mylocation.

      I love to play with the dogs in the garden, do gardening, cooking, reading and researching, watching tv. How about you?

    • AnonymousWoman
      AnonymousWoman carmel83758

      Posted

      Good! . . . Thank you but don't worry I haven't felt like that since last year really. Sometimes a bit lonely, but not as strong as it was then, thank God. 

      I like that idea, happiness comes from what is going on in your head, rather than your location, that's very true! 

      Believe it or not, I like to play with my cats in my garden!! They like to play chase with me and show off and climb trees and they enjoy company when they are investigating and exploring. One of my cats in particular loves when I play outside with him and he is most affectionate at those times smile . .. I like to play the piano and sing, I like the outdoors, going for walks or running at sunset. I live in the countryside and it's lovely and quiet and peaceful with birds and animals around and fresh air and you can see the stars at night which I love. When the weather is nice as it has been the last while, it is particularly nice to be outside even though I got hayfever! I also really like taking nature photographs too smile But now I am taking loratidine which I can take with citalopram without it making me drowsy so it's not too bad smile I am trying to get into yoga now too smile 

    • carmel83758
      carmel83758 AnonymousWoman

      Posted

      Can you take anything for the hay fever? The idea of watching the cats and playing with them sounds like a lot offun and very relaxing. You seem to be able to enjoy things, tghat is good. Yoga sounds good too, do you go to a class or do it at home? I also like singing but do not go now, used to play the piano and now the keyboard.
    • AnonymousWoman
      AnonymousWoman carmel83758

      Posted

      PS I think it's cool that you read. I used to read so much as a child and I guess I stopped when I was in my late teens as I used to read so much that I'd read for hours and hours everyday and have a book finished in a couple of days and I didn't have the time anymore to do that! I also found it was an expensive hobby when I wasn't earning money as it could be around €10 for a new book. I have read a bit since but not half as much. When I get holidays I will usually read a couple of books.
    • carmel83758
      carmel83758 AnonymousWoman

      Posted

      Yes it is expensive if you buy the books, I borrow them from library and often read a book in a day. Love to studyh and learn and at the moment about nutrition and diet etc.

      Did not know it was cool to be a nerd, thanks for that.

    • AnonymousWoman
      AnonymousWoman carmel83758

      Posted

      Yes I am taking loratidine at the moment. It is non-drowsy which is great as citalopram already can make me  a bit drowsy so at least if I take loratidine insteady of a different hay fever med. that would make me drowsy, I don't have to worry if I want to drive smile . . . I do yoga at home. I was using a book before but I am going to try following some videos instead now. It is not ideal to be in the middle of a stretch and trying to crane around to reread the instructions in a book!! That's good, why don't you sing anymore though? Did you go to lessons and you have stopped, is it? 
    • AnonymousWoman
      AnonymousWoman carmel83758

      Posted

      That makes sense to get them from the library. A book in a day, wow! That's fast! It can be so easy to get so absorbed into a good book though that you don't want to put it down smile Nutrition and diet, that has always interested me. What could be more universally relevant than eating! 
    • catarratto
      catarratto carmel83758

      Posted

      I like research too smile Love history and reading. I like to do with my hands; things like knitting and gardening. I like being a nerd and  am a sucker for trivial facts lol
    • catarratto
      catarratto AnonymousWoman

      Posted

      Sounds lovely where you are; I love wildlife and enjoy taking photos on walks. I wish I could afford a decent camera smile
    • AnonymousWoman
      AnonymousWoman catarratto

      Posted

      I am the same! I just take pictures with my phone or with my sister's old camera at the moment! I think it is only 4mega pixels so basically less than a lot of the more high tech phones that are out at the moment! It would be nice to have a big flashy camera alright! 
    • catarratto
      catarratto carmel83758

      Posted

      Thank-you very much! Do you have a Kindle? If you're an avid reader they're great. I take mine everywhere smile
    • carmel83758
      carmel83758 catarratto

      Posted

      I am usually at home and read books, get them out of the library.
    • catarratto
      catarratto AnonymousWoman

      Posted

      I use my phone too. I had a digital camera but I need a new battery for it. I'd like one with a zoom lense ideally for good close ups and moving shots but they are very expensive sad
    • AnonymousWoman
      AnonymousWoman catarratto

      Posted

      yes sometimes even when I am very close up to a bug/butterfly etc. and even when I have a portrait setting on on the camera, it will still come up blurry. It would be good to have a zoom lense as you say. . . There are many other things I would also love to get that would make things easier to well/to do things quicker but I guess that's life. It makes it more special when you do get the chance to buy it smile I have decided recently to save up more for treats for myself that I know I will really like, rather than spending money on food out and stuff like that which is really quite meaningless. I used to work part-time in college and I realised how much money I'd earned and hadn't saved any. I felt so bad and so foolish as it could have gone towards so many useful things but instead I had squandered it (well, don't get me wrong, I did pay for my own healthcare, clothes, travel and academic expenses) on convenience food and dinners in college etc. Lately, I just came to thinking that I could have gotten the big camera, a microphone and a microphone stand, a music software package etc. etc. etc. but now I don't have the money so I will have to wait!! Lesson learnt though. Anymore I will not tell myself the things I really want are "too much money". I will put some money aside every week and then treat myself and get it. Life is too short smile 
    • carmel83758
      carmel83758 dee52540

      Posted

      Hi Dee. The dogs help, which is why we hvae them. But I can have have a conversation with them, or go out shoppng with them, or receive a birthday card from them. Not quite the same as a person. The garden is something I enjoy but it doesnt give you a bond with a person. I enjoy reading and lots of things, but none of those things are anything to do with bonding with a person and having someone care about you. There are lots of people who I care about but none who care about me. IF I were ill nobdoy would want to help or ring to ask how I am.
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