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Loneliness

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Tired_teddy
Tired_teddy

How do you all cope with the loneliness this illness forces on you?  I feel very isolated. I have a partner but he is backing off from me as my illness progresses. I've suffered with social anxiety for a long time which has never really gone down well with my other half. I feel he's blaming me for stoping him having a life. Not that I stop him doing anything. I don't think I've ever felt so lonely in my life. I've been through tough times. Times I never thought I'd get through but this is hard x 

7 likes, 101 replies

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  • hope4cure
    hope4cure Tired_teddy

    Posted

    Yes I feel the loss it's so hard and so raw. We talk about it and each time we make progress. It takes time as we both have many health issues which just keep piling up. 

    We try to do one thing each day to make the others day brighter. A flower from the garden, or things to share from the web, even the dogs get in on the act. They help too!

    • Tired_teddy
      Tired_teddy hope4cure

      Posted

      That's so lovely that you do that for each other. I have dogs too and they always brighten my day, I don't know what I'd do without them actually x 
  • Tired_teddy
    Tired_teddy

    Posted

    I've noticed a few people apologising for joining in the thread. Please don't apologise and feel free to comment. It helps talking about it and getting others views, opinions and feelings help too. Hopefully we can help each other xxxx 
    • Flowerlady
      Flowerlady Tired_teddy

      Posted

      Hi Tired Teddy

      How are you today? not seen you on here for a while?

      I am full of aches and pains as usual, unable to go out for a stroll to ease the pain as its pouring down here..

      All the best..Anne..biggrin

    • Tired_teddy
      Tired_teddy Flowerlady

      Posted

      Hi Anne. Thanks for the message :-) I'm not too good. Had a bad few weeks with pain, tiredness, not sleeping the usual. I have got my diagnosis now and have a prescription for gabapentin. Not picked it up yet as can't drive at the mo. Sorry your struggling too and your right the bloody weather not helping. Hope your managing to stay positive xx 
  • sorelin
    sorelin Tired_teddy

    Posted

    Hi Teddy. I am so sorry you are feeling so lonely. I too feel very lonely but I am lucky that I have a husband who would fly to the moon if he thought there was something there that could help me. my problem is my only daughter. She used to come and take me out shopping as I don't drive and I so looked forward to seeing her as we had agood laugh and I enjoyed my days with her. But ever since I told her about my diagnosis I have not seen or had a call from her since. This is now over a year ago and I am afraid I am too hurt and determined to call her. When it first started I was quite ill and was in bed for a few weeks so I expected her to come and see me but she didnt. Now its gone on too long and my husband is livid about it. So in a way I understand your lonelines. My daughter was the only other person I know here apart from my husband who is at work all day so I too get very lonely just for a different reason. I watch tv alot and my husband bought me a puppy which has helped a lot. I hope you can find a way to fill up your hours and that your partner will come around to realise that it's still you ....the person they fell in love with. You are just ill at the moment and once you get on meds that actually help, you will be able to do the things you both used to enjoy again. Good luck and keep your chin up....things always have a way of working out for the best in the end.       
    • tiswas24537
      tiswas24537 sorelin

      Posted

      i know what you mean about kids , iv bent over back wards for my 3 my eldest dosent even ring me i havent seen her since she was 24 she now 30 ,my middle daughter only seems to remember she has a mum when she wants something,

      like when she split from her partner who i told her was no good, and had to go in to a hostle , so we took her dog in ,we still have him a few weeks has turned into a few months, shes got her flat ,and iv spent afortune helping her out with stuff for it plus taking the dog over for visits ,

      hopefuly when he goes back on the 18th she spend the time and effort settling him in to yet another place. but i dont hold out much hope . i think we end up keeping him ,dont get me wrong his a cute little chap but his a right handful and his putting our dogs nose ou t of place two terriers not a good mix,  i be lucky to get a phone call when he goes back . it hurts very deeply ,when you have always done your best for them ,

      my son is ASPERGERS so he is totaly thoughtles and hard work .

      i dont know what the answer is its tough at least you have a loving husband ,i dont even have that,i no it dosent make it any easier.but at least you can look forward to him coming home. try have a  good day

    • Tired_teddy
      Tired_teddy sorelin

      Posted

      I'm so sorry that's so sad. I guess kids can be selfish sometimes. I had no contact with my son for two years, but that's another story, so I know how you feel. It hurts a lot. I hope  that your daughter realises what she's doing to you and gets in contact soon x 
    • hope4cure
      hope4cure Tired_teddy

      Posted

      Don't even get me started on mine...I ssaw on the news that the "Me Generation" our children , that study resulted with  they r the most spoiled generation & self involved of any and studies show they r also the most stressed generation of all. Can't wait till the results r in for generation x my grand kids r in. All they know is a life of high tech...facebook myspace..
    • tiswas24537
      tiswas24537 hope4cure

      Posted

      lets face it when mothers let their children die of dehadration because they are to busy playing computer games,

      and people invent stuff like poop socks so they dont have to leave their consoles ,

      and logging in swimming pools in spain putting other peoples health at risk is clased as fun .

      makes you wonder what the hell lifes going to be like in another 20 yrs

       

  • ianstokes66
    ianstokes66 Tired_teddy

    Posted

    Well, as a man and a fellow suffer I don't have many excusess. My wife tries to understand my illness but like your issues she doesn't talk much. I do feel alone at times and i feel fed up with this illness as it drags me down. At times I have been so down that I have thought bad thoughts... I hate the constent pain, not feeling able at time to have sex. I don't know the way forward. I am just living day to day.
    • tiswas24537
      tiswas24537 ianstokes66

      Posted

      i know exactly were you are you really arent a lone,i have had times were i have had bad thoughts really dark, its not that you want to die you just want the pain to go away, and to have a life , i have not slept with my husband in 3 yrs ,

      i just cant be bothered he cant be bothered to massage my back and neck before and after so i dont see why i should put myself thru the pain

      , but i do miss it and feel like i have lost every thing ,i have a restricted diet cant take alchol and cant be bothereed with sex. if you still have some love in your marriage see if she would ne willing to  give you a gentle massage before and after as part of the sex see if that makes you feel more in the mood good luck ,its hard and with out loving sexual realationship life is lonely because you loose contact

    • tiswas24537
      tiswas24537 ianstokes66

      Posted

      i do what a lot of people do suffer in silance and slowly get worse and more unhappy ,  as the years go on . but i dont have the energy to do anything about it , i have to manage with out meds because ialso have ASPERGERS syndrome which makes me hyper sensistive to so many things , its not worth trying

      ,i do quite well with alternative pain relief generaly  but when the stress is on it makes me hurt real bad and nothing i do makes it go away , i no a lot of my problems are linked to ungrateful kids ,and a husband who just puts his head in the sand and says hurtful and annoying things.

      ,i am glad your still both trying ,counciling is good they know ways around diffitculties o f having sex , i suggested it when we first started having problems but typical cave man wouldnt consider it, so we have just got to the stage that we share the same house but not the same life.dont let this happen to you , you take care .

    • Tired_teddy
      Tired_teddy ianstokes66

      Posted

      I guess it's all we can do really - live day by day.  I'm glad your wife tries to understand. Try and keep talking and I hope things improve for you x 
    • tiswas24537
      tiswas24537 ianstokes66

      Posted

      well just shows how quick life can change , i started texting another guy after chatting on youtube , and after years of being ignored by my husband he started to notice me again, he is trying really hard now and our sex lives are back on track , and his been spoiling me rotten.

      treating me the way he should have been .

      biggrin

      so now we are happier again . and i am feeling better not cured but better because i am now being seen as a women ,not an illness and if we can only manage sex once a week then fine but we have the contact back and we are nicer to each other again . so dont loose hope .

      i d given up and was so depressed . but it all changed over night .

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