Loneliness

no what you mean anne , its like we are in the way,

i to have a dog , who means a lot , but since april we have had my daughters dog to ,cute little chap but  a right handful bit to much for me

really,

shes now got a new flat and a new fella and suddenly she dosent seem to interested in having the dog back ,

she knows i couldnt put him in kennals and she is playing me i knew as soon as her life got back ontrack id be lucky to get a text and i was right . it dos bloody well hurt , but what can you do if your the sort of person who cares .even when others dont give you a thought,

suppose we just have to grin a nd bare it, and hope things get better.

Anne..

thumbs up that UR rhumy appt will go well! 

I'm like you Anne I spend a lot of time on my own and my dogs are my saviour, cuddles when things are bad.  I'd be lost without them. I hope you get some help with the ME. I was diagnosed with ME at 18 so know how you feel xx 

Anne, you can always drive to mine for a cuppa and tell your kids you're too busy teehee. I've a wee cocker spaniel whose better company than most humans I know! Fingers crossed they don't keep adding to your list of issues. Stay strong :-)

It's very hard to deal with Lindsey! It's good to laugh though even though we don't always feel like it. For those of you who are married I can recommend a course of HRT - Husband Removal Therapy! Tee hee x 

i know the feeling , its the things people say like i understand then moan if your not up to something they had planned . then they say things like theres always something wrong with you .

just makes you feel very low ,because you give anything just to say right lets go and do this or that ,  its lonely but people are just so thoughtless and hurtful with there comments.

People are insensitive Tina. I forever found myself saying 'If you've nothing nice or supportive to say then dont talk to me'. Then the visits and calls decrease and the invites stop when you keep letting people down. The inability to plan ahead or have to cancel is a nightmare for me, an ex-control freak! The good ones will stick around hopefully and manage to think before speaking, at least until our skin thickens.

Don't let other people's ignorance or insensitivity get to you, most don't mean to cause upset,and I know I can be a tad prone to being hyper-sensitive or easily hurt sometimes.

On the plus side, the few good relationships I have now are quality ones and mean the world to me as the lonliness is awful. Hopefully this site will help us all with lonliness & isolation. Keep fighting :-)

i know why i am ill because i  care and worry to much about others.

yep, hard wired for worry i am....always have been;i wish  i was born different

oh god so do i , it dosent help that i also have aspergers syndrom which makes me overly sensistive to a wide range of things, and of course i had a lot of bulling as well . i am such a worrier if there nothing to worry about i worry about that, and all the ifs buts and maybes .it drives me mad

sending love and positive thoughts your way, Tina

thats very kind thank you x

Hello all,

As long as we are on this subject,I think about being left alone every day. It could happen and it's real & I don't kid myself about it. A partner who's kind became angry and demeaning, and to be blunt sometimes just mean spirited for no reason and condescending. He soo avery lazy! Will not do thing if it means time from computer games. He negecs the home repairs .i still do most household chores. I asked him to,clean his to toilet and he waits until yellow brown oily film is coving it weeks before he will clean it.he hasn't cleaned his bath sink for 2 years I have to! I clen up,after my self that's all I ask of him... His office is like a hoarders room a fire hazard. Papers floor to ceiling . He refuses to clean that up. He absolutely is so pissed that he has to do some of the things I used to to. No matter how hard I try I know that there's someone else out there who is not ill and could fill my partners needs just that fast. .... How do you all cope with the loneliness chronic illness forces on you? I'm going to start to see a counselor. My partners not but he's angry cus I'm blind in one eye and blurred in the other eye so he has to drive me. I feel very isolated. I had a wonderful partner he put my feeling first since my illness is not getting better he has emotionally left the building.This illness had broken us into pieces. He is backing off from me as my illness progresses. He never speaks nice to me only when necessary. He very seldom looks me in the eye with love in his heart. It's gone. No BD or holiday gifts.

I feel he's blaming me for stoping him having a life, or that I cannot do everthing I could in the past. He never had to do anything around the house.Not that I stopped him doing anything fun in the past. I don't think I've ever felt so lonely in my life. I've been through tough times.loss of a child was the worst.. I've been thru hard Times before I never thought I'd get through but this is hard just not gonna make it thru this it's torture! xxx

I don't know if you realize it, but you are in an abusive relationship; he may not be physically hitting you, but the emotional abuse is there; i have been in mulitple physical and emotionally abusive relationships since High School, well, actually before that with my father;  I pray you have the strength to let him go if you can; i know it is easier said than done; I have chosen to not get involved with an intimate male relationship since I have gotten ill; I would rather just have friends; i am usually attracted to men that are no good for me...and very few would want to be with someone who is ill; I am glad you are going to counseling-sending prayers and positive thoughts your way

Gloria,

I am so sorry to hear u have been thru both physical and emotional abusive relationships. It's the pits. No one deserves that! That leaves a hole in UR heart forever. A scar or two for sure. It's amazing what we endure and recover from thru our lives .

I lost my prior partner in a accident we were hit by a drunk driver. He was the love of my life. I think of him a lot...I shouldn't but I know my life would be so much different.

It's been that way for a long long time ur right he is emotionally abusive in so many nasty ways. It's truly discusting. I guess in a way I didn't fight as often about his dominant behaviors, out of fear. I  can not leave my home though I have worked so hard been here for 25 years.its like that movies "The War of the Roses." I  guess u would say we r stuck with each other. That's why I am hoping the shrink will help give me ways to cope and find group therapy for abusive behaviors. And that's why he doesn't go he know that he will be told he's abusive.

My hope is to get into counceling again..and teach him In a positive way that I will not be treated as before. If he eventually comes fine if not I will have no choice but to emotionally leave him behind.

thanks for UR reply. One day at a time !

Some ya when u least expect it u will find that special someone... If UR open for it. I think if I were singles I would stay that way! That's just me but I have never been on my own really! Have you?

darlin you have to find the strenght , to let him go i am married and every thing was ok until i got ill and althou my husband does do stuff for me its always with an attidude , so i get how you feel,  like you iv never stopped hin from going anywhere or doing anything , but he blames me for everthing , then says he dosent.

the only thing is its diffitcult for us being married and houses not selling because we could proberly sell and go our seperate ways, i know i would feel a lot better, if i could .

but we sleep in seperate rooms  and have pretty much seperate lifes , and its not as bad as you and yours althou we do get nasty with each other from time time, if i had a circle of friends or family close by i would proberly find the strenght to leave even with out selling the house.

try and find some inner strenght to say i dont need this sh*t , if my relatinship was as bad as yours i would out of there ,you will feel more pain when your under this strain, is there not a church or spiritul group you could join  ,not sure where you are , but sometimes these groups can be very supportive. are you able to get to anything like that.

iv been looking up groups near me theres 2 i am just trying to decide which one i should give a go . sorry i cant be more help . but try not to allow this to go on other wise you will cease to exsist ,your whole life will be just your illness dont let him do this to you ,

find away to be happy please . try and think now , and look at this word back wards and see it spell WON  BLESSINGS TINA