Loneliness or depression ?

Posted , 8 users are following.

since I lost my partner, last year, I have been battling with a range of symptoms/feelings that are quite out of context for me.

I tried some anti-depressants from my GP, but they did nothing apart from make my symptoms worse.

I've always been a gregarious sort of chap, but this feelintg of uselessness and isolation is getting me a bit down.  any help most welcome,

George.

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  • Posted

    Losing a partner especially if you believed them to be "the one" is the worst thing I have ever experienced and I'll be honest m8 it will be with you for the rest of your life. But the way I have come to see it is she lives on in my memories and she has a place in my heart always. I also eventually accepted that she wouldn't want me to spend the rest of my life grieving.

    It is hard and I would like to say you'll get over it but you want. It will get easier but it will take time to adjust. The thing that helped me was to focus on our time together and try and avoid thinking of what could have been.

    I hope this helps in some small way at least

    D

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  • Posted

    Hello George, I am sorrry for your loss. It is early days yet and you will still be greiving which adds to the lonliness and isolation. I have been where you are, thou i was only 29 at the time. Is there anywhere where you could volunteer for a few hours a week, depending on your health of course. There are lots of places crying out for volunteers ie charity shops ( we know there are plenty of them about ) food banks and befriending the elderly. If you look on Google for your area you should get a list of places, or go to your local library. This would give you a purpose to go out and you would be helping others and hopefully make new friends. You do a great job here on helping others, thou your not actually meeting people face to face. I belong to a local meetup group of people and we go out for meals etc. We have a mixture of male, female, young and older and it's a great way of meeting people. I have limited mobility so feel isolated a lot thou i have daughters and grandchildren i see it's good to meet others. Look on Google type in local groups and you will get a list for all interests most areas have them now. If you like walking there are ramblers groups, coffee groups, boardgames, i belong to one and have relearnt card games, dominos, scrabble etc. There are groups for holidays and days out etc. most don't cost anything to join and we all pay for our own drinks etc. There is a whole new world out there, grasp it and enjoy. Wishing you all the best. smile

    Elizabeth.

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    • Posted

      Hello Elizabeth, thank you for your reply....The most annoying thing about being old and trying to use the pc keyboard, is that i keep missing the key i want to press and hitting another !!!!Drat...typed this in really slowly.....Maybe see if there is a local "seniors" group nearby, speak soon, George, XXXX
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  • Posted

    I am so sorry for your loss George.  You are still grieving and I can understand how lonely you must be feeling.  I am glad you can come on here and talk to us.  I find it makes me feel less lonely when I know there are lovely people like you and all the others who are so kind an supportive.

    We are your friends, but of course we cannot meet.  So sorry the anti depressants did not help.  I think you just have to give yourself time.  You are obviously not useless, just sad and lonely.  Perhaps you would feel like volunteering.  I have done this myself.  There may be a local volunteer centre near you, and they are always looking for people.  

    I find loneliness the hardest thing to bear.  When you are feeling more sociable, I am sure you will be out there doing things.

    I belong to a locsal group that have activities.  Have a look in your local library and see if there is anything you fancy joining in your area.  Or perhaps you don't feel up to doing anything like that at the moment.  Give yourself time.  I get on a bus (don't have a car) and just go for a ride to get out, or go to the cinema, or just go for a walk.  I think it is nice to get out. 

    Sorry I cannot be more help, but keep writing here, as we are all friends.

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  • Posted

    Hi George it must be awful to lose your partner and I do feel for you.  Are you still working or have you retired?   There is a group everywhere in the UK (I presume you are UK) called U3A (University of the third age).   It's for people who have done the job,  raising a family but there are no age limits as far as I know.   Google them and if you like the look of them join.   I am a member.  I also belong to an over 55's group where I attend the writers group one afternoon and the other one play cards.  I love it and it  gets me out of the house and company.   

    I am sure your partner loved you very much and she would want you to be happy.  

    Let us know how you get on please.

    Love Bev xx

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    • Posted

      Hello Bev, havent heard from you for a while. thank you for the reply. I suppose company will be beneficial, really must get motivated to join in. i used to be with the British Legion years ago, but most of my chums have passed on. I was born in the '40's so a bit long in the tooth, and still sprightly. Perhaps if I gave AGE UK a ring they may help. I appreciate your comment, yours, George. XXX
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    • Posted

      I belong to the U3A and have done so for many years.  I really enjoy it and would be lost without it.  Made such a difference to my life.  I get out and meet other older people and do lots of things with them. 

      Nice to know you are a member too Bev. 

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    • Posted

      Hey George, I was born in 1940, so long in the tooth like you!!  Glad you are sprightly.  Yes give Age UK a ring, and like Hypercat and I look up your local U3A.  When you feel up to it you will hopefully find things in your local area to do. 

      I have been alone for 30 years and loneliness is hard, but I have had depression for most of that time.  Only in the last couple of years I have been able to stop the anti depressants. 

      You ask is it loneliness or depression, I think it is a bit of both for both of us. 

      Take care and keep writing to us

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  • Posted

    Hi George not sure they can help!  But you will find lots of age related activities in your local area as isolation in older people is seen as a huge problem so have a look around or google it.   Good luck.    Or you could just go to the pub - it's much easier and more acceptable for a man to go to a pub on his own than a woman!   Even these days.   

    Let us know how you get on.  Oh how if your friend?    Bev x

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