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Lonely and feel like I've lost myself.

Posted , 7 users are following.

AaronB
AaronB

I feel like a shadow of the person I used to be, I was happy, reasonably outgoing and funny with a lot of hope for the future. A combination of never having a real girlfriend and falling apart from a lot of my friends over the years has turned me into a nobody. I spend most of my time rotting away in my room when I'm not working, it was ok when I had visitors every day but now I'm rarely visited I feel so depressed. I want to get out more but the friends I do have left aren't particularly outgoing. Therefore I don't get out much which makes it near impossible to make new friends. 

But that's not the main issue, for the most part of my life I have had a fair few friends and people that care about me but but I have never had a real girlfriend, I've seen a few girls (very briefly) and slept with just one my whole life. It all started when I was younger, I have Aspergers syndrome (known as high functioning autism these days) and was a very strange child/teen so naturally I didn't get any girlfriends. Over the years I grew up with no experience on how to approach girls I like, how to chat them up or even how to hold a good conversation with them. So now I'm 24 years old with none of the experience or knowledge necessary to get a relationship. I'm so scared of approaching girls in real life and have no idea how, so i tried internet dating. So far I just get ignored by 90% of women I message, I do write proper messages of at least a few sentences to a paragraph with good grammar, following the same formula I imagine most people follow, I'm not just copy pasting messages to every girl I am choosing carefully. All of these girls probably get messages every day, I was stupid to think that I could be any more appealing than the other 50 guys who messaged. I have an OK job and a decent car but that's all I have going for me. Other than being genuine, emotional, caring, down to earth and easy going but obviously that's not enough. I'm not attractive, tall or well toned, I have an awkward voice and I'm so nervous on dates (on the RARE occasion that I get one) that the girls I meet must think I'm just boring or stupid. My self confidence is at rock bottom. I feel so trapped. I probably won't meet a girl in this state of mind but don't think I can escape it without some kind of passion in my life.

Thank you for taking the time to read all this.

2 likes, 19 replies

19 Replies

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  • AaronB
    AaronB

    Posted

    Maybe they would, but they only go for confident guys, thus why almost every girl says she has been hurt in the past. Because girls always fall for overcoinfident dick heads. They break up with them and go find another guy thats the same expecting different results. Quiet guys like me die lonely.
  • stacey87853
    stacey87853 AaronB

    Posted

    Girls go for d*ckheads when there younger as they enjoy the thrill, as we get older and want to settle down we go for men who wont hurt us who will take care of us, some one who we get on with...i know how your feeling at the moment, everything feels like the worst it could be, it will get better, it always does... stacey
    • AaronB
      AaronB stacey87853

      Posted

      But I feel mature girls won't want me either because I have a minimum wage plus tips job, I don't make much. I just feel like this weird confused person that isn't right for anybody.
  • gwen1953
    gwen1953 AaronB

    Posted

    Aaron, please stop putting yourself down so much. You really have to get off the weed, out of your room and into some social environment.  I know it's easier said than done but you can do it. As for the types of girls out there. Some of them feel just as insecure as you do. Never judge anyone by the way they look - you could be pleasantly surprised. On the other side of the coin if things don't go as you would like don't assume it's all your fault. There is someone out there that can start out as a friend and then maybe move on to something more. I moved from a town to a small village in January this year and I knew I had to go out there and do things to try and fit it.  There was a Wednesday Club - "Everybody welcome"  so I took a deep breath one Wed morning and went for it and I am so glad I did. Yes people are going to look at you and suss you out but you have to look for a friendly face or even a vacant seat and see what happens. People are naturally curious. They ask questions you answer then answer questions back and so it goes.

    I also volunteer for a charity 2 mornings a week too but it's up to you to try. Go to your library, they are the best place to find notices of what's going on in your area. Please,please try. You've nothing to lose and lots to gain.

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