Lonely and struggling

Hey Deborah

I'm all ears, I'm always lonely, friends busy with their lives having babies or getting married. I'm the same feel I'm getting better just trying to keep busy. Plus i actually drove on my own together, panic abit but just kept calm. I get anxiety attacks now and then.

Laura x

Laura,

Thank you. I know how that is - I feel like everyone's got important things to do and then there's just me, stuck on the couch all weekend feeling sorry for myself. I struggle to keep myself busy when I don't have classes or meetings or anything, but I guess that's when it's going to hit me. That sounds good. I have panic attacks too, so I know how hard it can be.

I'm in the same boat girls my mans away working and I'm home alone and my friends have kids or other commitments and I'm struggling. Keep trying to convince myself to go out and do something get out the house for a while but the motivation just isn't there anymore.

Always got an ear.

Natasha

X

Natasha,

That sounds difficult. I'm just a student, so my friends don't have the family commitments or anything - but they've always got something better to do than hang out with me. I understand the motivation thing, it's hard enough to get out of bed sometimes never mind going out to do things alone. I hope you're managing okay.

Struggling I've got so much on my mind it's starting to consume me and take over. I speak to my man on a daily basis but he doesn't understand and I just end up frustrated and angry when I try to explain. It's so difficult I'm not sure what to do or who to speak to.

N

X

I know what you mean, it can be difficult for anyone to understand what's going on in your head, even if you mean well. Have you been able to speak to anyone - a doctor, or a counsellor? I'm still struggling, but I don't know where I'd be if I didn't see my doctor regularly

I suppose I've been trying to keep it all bottled up but I can feel myself slipping and I'm usually always smily and bubbly and everyone at works picking up on my change of mood.

I hope you feel better soon.

I know how difficult it can be to let anyone in - God knows it took me months to work up the courage to tell anyone. But it does help. And even if you feel like you can't, there are always people on here to listen, myself included.

Thank you. I hope you do, too.

I know exactly how you all feel, I felt the same no motivation didnt do my hair or make up, was a recluse out one time but yesterday i walked to the shops on my own. My partner works all the time and it has been so hard for him to understand and thought we were close to breaking up. I haven't been the same for ages in a way i know it sounds funny but going through this i feel like a total new person i used to bubbly and laughs but very rare now. But getting there, tablets im on really help me sleep at night aswell.

Xx

Hi Deborah. Sorry to hear you're lonely. I think all the replies that you've received are proof that people do care. I know it's hard being by yourself, especially away at uni but you aren't alone in all this. Hope your weekend improves for you.

I've driven down South for my granddad's birthday but have tonsillitis and I've put my back out. Typical. Went to York yesterday to prepare for a job interview on Thursday. Was told over 200 applied for the job and now it's down to me and someone else. That's my positive thing for this week so I'm quite happy.

I hope your weekend improves for you and I'm happy you came here for help.

Laura,

I know what you mean. I feel like a completely different person now.

Tony,

I'd really like to believe that. I feel so bad for not just trusting people when they say that they do.

I'm sorry to hear that. But the job interview sounds great, I hope you get it.

Im into creating things at the moment so making a mirror out of wood for candles, just something I've always been into. Just for motivation. I also have an interview wedensday so trying to think positive about that without my anxiety kicking in. Hope it goes well Tony.

Xx

Hi everyone

Have suffered depression for many years, tried anti depressants had counselling and CBT but am still suffering. I too am on my own and feeling more like a recluse every day. Think the stress over the past year has taken its toll on my body, since losing my job a year ago, and feel like I am now having a nervous breakdown. I have been very anxious over the past week over something that happened that is so trivial but yet I cannot get it out of my head. It is not harmful to me and so ridiculous if I told anyone but yet I cannot block it out with any other thoughts. Having nice, serene thoughts is an impossibility.

My life is spent lying on the couch in front of the T.V (although not taking anything in).

My only contact is my mother,although we have never been a close knit family. She knows nothing of my depression or the fact that I have had counselling or been on anti depressants. This has been really hard, having to cope with all the 'play-acting'. I can have a really tearful episode, then quickly have to mop myself up and pretend life is wonderful to go and see my mother. As you can imagine this is very hard work. She will ask what have I been doing. When I say nothing, she says 'how can you not do nothing'?

I am managing to find Temporary work but find it difficult communicating as I know I give off the depressive 'vibe'.

I hate it when all you hear is 'stop feeling sorry for yourself', get yourself out and meet people and stop thinking negative thoughts.

I am trying but find nothing works. For example I took myself into town this evening, as I am not relaxed at home at weekends, but my mood did not change, just felt even more lonely.

I too have no one I can contact only the usual 'Mind' or 'Samaritan' phone lines, although I am reluctant to phone these as feel that is when you are at the end of the line.

Without communication or any positive input no wonder we cannot rid our heads of anxious thoughts. x

Hi Pamela,

I'm sorry to hear that you're suffering so much. I know how it feels to be stuck with thoughts that would seem trivial to anyone else - but to you they're significant. I'm not sure there's anything I can advise for the anxiety - I was lucky, the antidepressants have helped with that for me, but when I'm not on them I'm a complete wreck. For me it's the depression that's the problem just now, and like you I feel like I spend most of my time in front of the TV. My mother doesn't know about what's going on with me, either - she knows that I have panic attacks, but she's never asked me anything about it, and I'm reluctant to share (it's not the kind of thing that's really dealt with in my family). I have had to turn to the Samaritans in the past, and I hated that I had to do that, that they were the only option I had left - but believe me, it's better than having options at all. They listen, and it does help. There are also support groups around, where you'd just talk about things like on this forum, except face to face. I don't know if that's something you might feel would help. Good luck with it all.

Thanks for your reply Deborah. I think that is the saddest thing to accept, that we have no one to turn to when we want to talk and have to use people like the Samaritans. I have sent an email to my local support group enquiring about attending their next meeting, so that is something positive. Hope you're feeling a bit better this Sunday evening having joined the forum-I know I do! x