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Looking at this forum has removed all hope from me and left me depressed

Posted , 10 users are following.

luke34832
luke34832

Hey guys back again. I posted here 20 days ago and nothing has changed. The more i read up on it on this forum the less hopeful I get. It had gotten slightly better and when i started smoking again it regressed. I stopped smoking again but im worried this is going to last a life time. Reading up on this forum everything seems like there is no way to ever get better and im going to be stuck with it for life. I have gotten extremely depressed and suicidal thoughts have started to creep in. I’m starting to worry my parents alot and this is also my first year at university and I’m f*****g it up. I can’t take this anymore. Slight advice for anyone who like me overworries. Try not to read up to much about the dysfunction.

0 likes, 32 replies

32 Replies

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  • Esterberry3
    Esterberry3 luke34832

    Posted

    Dear Luke

    I am just starting down this road of ETD and just had a tympanoplasty Done 10 weeks ago to correct 60% hole in eardrum! Low and behold 6 week check up showed graft took but half of eardrum is being retracted back into substation tube making graft adhere to middle ear somewhere! 

    After telling doctors before surgery I had no reason or symptoms to account for this large hole in eardrum (that my other doctor either missed or because it had not yet occurred ) I am wondering if this ETD negative pressure caused the first hole!

    Anyway- I have been through some pretty severe post op problems & pain with my husband this past 7 years and know well the depression, anxiety and despair that can sink in at times!

    Just please hang on to the fact that you can not predict the future! Hopelessness and despair are not from God! Stay in the present and know that people are praying for you now that you are letting us know! 

    As I told my spouse, never give up! Our fight, our persistence to find the cure will help us or someone in the long run and nothing if done for the “good” is wasted!

    You are a pioneer! Ask God to give you the strength and hope to continue your good and worthwhile fight and no that “resting” is good! We need strength and peace of mind to act wisely and know when to act and when not to!  

    I am not so sure “surgery” is always the answer-  and alternative medicines are alternatives and have been around for ages!

    “Be still and know God is always with you” and no decision will be wrong for you if you pray first, listen and discern! What is right for one goose is not always right for the other! But we learn from each other!

    I lift you up in a particular way today to let you feel God’s presence and that He will guide you!

    Mary

    • luke34832
      luke34832 Esterberry3

      Posted

      Hey Mary, 

      Really appreciate your reply. Cheered me up quite a bit. Hope your situation also improves and keep on fighting!

    • anne05078
      anne05078 Esterberry3

      Posted

      That's a nice message you sent to Luke Mary.  I too believe in God and his work.  Four years ago my friends little granddaughter was diagnosed with Neuroblastoma cancer.  Little Ruby has been through so much these past 4 yrs and she's still only 5.  This particular cancer is a particularly nasty one and survival rate is low.  I do believe the tumour is still in her tummy, but is obviously inactive as yesterday her mother was told that Ruby is in remission.  I'd love to think it's all the Prayers she's been receiving that has done this for her.

      Bad enough for any adult suffering cancer, but so much worse for little children.

      I feel the same for youngsters that are suffering from Eustachian Tube Dysfunction, it's a horrible complaint that just will not go away.

      I feel so lucky that at present both my ears are fine.  Since April and taking the medication that was prescribed, I've only had the odd day here and there when my left ear has blocked.  But once I've used the Nasule drops I'm able to pop it again and it remains open.  I too have suffered a perforated left eardrum, but fortunately only a very tiny hole in my case.  Once this happens my ENT consultant is able to microsuction all the mucky mucus out and everything feels wonderful again....even Tinnitus is quieter.

      Anne

  • michael11955
    michael11955 luke34832

    Posted

    Hello Luke ,Many others like you ,myself included have often felt the way you do.There isn't a perfect answer,but there is a way that I've become involved in recently.It's called "Mindfulness" & it certainly is helping me coping with the situation.No medicine or tablets,so no nasty side effects.

  • luke34832
    luke34832

    Posted

    Hey guys thanks for all the replies really appreciate them. I’m feeling better mentally today more in place.  Im writing this more calmly now but for the sake of anyone reading it who has just started researching about this try not let certain posts get to you as i have. They can drive you slightly crazy. Best of luck to all of you and again thankyou for taking the time to reply.
  • mike00153
    mike00153 luke34832

    Posted

    The vital thing to remember about forums like this is that the vast number of people who GET BETTER don't post about it so you get a biased sample of cases which give a depressing impression.

    • anne05078
      anne05078 mike00153

      Posted

      That is so true Mike.  I often wonder how a couple of women on the Forum have got on after treatment....such a shame they haven't let us know.

  • dianataylor
    dianataylor luke34832

    Posted

    Luke, don’t give up hope.   I was in your place a few yrs ago and i did get better.   It does happen! Keep trying to find your answer!! 

     

    • dianataylor
      dianataylor anne05078

      Posted

      I had the balloon dilation surgery about 6 yrs ago. I feel very fortunate that it worked for me. 
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