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Lost In Misery !

Posted , 13 users are following.

Sober_As
Sober_As

I am not well, just now.

I have drunk myself drunk.  Everything is falling apart.  I am falling apart.

My husband is not speaking to me because I drunk booze of his.

He is angry with me. 

I am angry with the world.

I wish I was dead... but I won't end my own life.

Please help me out of this hole... I have sunk quite far.

Alonangel

0 likes, 30 replies

30 Replies

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  • ADEfree
    ADEfree Sober_As

    Posted

    This seems to happen once in a while, Angel. Get up, dust yourself off and get back on the horse! 
    • Sober_As
      Sober_As ADEfree

      Posted

      Hi ADEfree.  Thanks for the riding tip !  The blessed horse must be truly sick of me !!

      It's hard to change the habits of decades!!!

      I hope you are firmly in your saddle. 🐎

      Angel 🎇

    • ADEfree
      ADEfree Sober_As

      Posted

      I'm dysthymic myself, Angel, so I know a bit of what you're talking about. Well, what you're doing is changing the habits of decades, hopefully each outtake is a bit shorter than the one before. You're sounding good, Angel... keep flapping those wings!
  • Robin2015
    Robin2015 Sober_As

    Posted

    not good but do not give in!! tomorrow is another day and YES this sounds stereotype but you can do since you are stroeng..Robin
    • Sober_As
      Sober_As Robin2015

      Posted

      Thank you, Robin.  I have come to terms with it... again.

      I will just try again.  I get fed up with the word AGAIN !

      Failure is so depressing.

      Good wishes to you.

      Alonangel 🎇

    • tess33005
      tess33005 Robin2015

      Posted

      Well said, Robin! You're always so empathetic and supportive.

      Love Tess

  • emma84640
    emma84640 Sober_As

    Posted

    Someone who has never had the urge to keep on and on drinking once they have had one glass of alcohol can never understand why people like us are as we are 😔

    Deep down we are good people but we are either trying to escape the pain of life circumstances and get the buzz alcohol gives that we may be lacking in other parts of our lives.

    Try to stay strong as bad as things feel right now. You must be damn strong if I'm honest cos otherwise you wouldn't still be fighting this to this day!

    Have a little faith even though I know it's dark right now. It will get better xxxx

    • Sober_As
      Sober_As emma84640

      Posted

      Oh Emma... how true your words are.  

      I am trying to gather strength AGAIN.  This is one heck of a battle.

      I need to lose the mindset of alcohol being the escape from my pain... emotional and physical.

      I will keep the faith.

      I will find the light.

      God Bless You for caring.

      I hope you are doing well.

      Alonangel xx

    • tess33005
      tess33005 emma84640

      Posted

      Emma, I speak from having gone through the experience of watching my husband drinking himself almost to death.

      I have been addicted to benzos for forty years myself, but even then I failed to understand my husband's AUD.

      It took the combined and very generous efforts of this alcohol forum to teach me how bad it was for him, and where I was going wrong.

      I am eternally grateful for that and our marriage has grown stronger now that I understand why he's doing what he does. I was reacting in very negative and unhelpful ways to him, and now I've stopped doing that. He's happier, I'm happier, the children are happier. So you're completely on the ball when you say that people who have never themselves had a problem with alcohol don't understand.

      I myself hate the taste of alcohol! So at least I haven't got that to contend with for myself.

      I'm now in treatment for my addiction and it's going very well. I also gave up cigarettes five weeks ago. I've just started to tackle my comfort eating and getting back to eating healthily.

      I truly wish you well and I give thanks for this website. Love Tess

  • h1954
    h1954 Sober_As

    Posted

    So sorry to hear this, Angel, but you've done it before you can do it again. This mistake doesn't mean you can't start again. You are so much stronger then you were. Tomorrow is another day
    • Sober_As
      Sober_As h1954

      Posted

      Thank you h1954.  I feel such a fool to be repeating my learned behaviour... yet again.

      I am coping a bit better, now.

      I hope you are well.

      Angel

  • vickylou
    vickylou Sober_As

    Posted

    Angel you've come on so much since you first joined here. It's not that long ago since you had about 14 al free days! I've drunk my husbands drink before, and obviously he's been livid. When you've nothing else left to drink, even though I knew the consequences, sense goes out of the window. I'd then suffer dreadful guilt and remorse which made me feel ten times worse. You've bounced back before and you can do it again. Tomorrow you'll feel c**p, but please stay strong and get support from your friends here who all care about you. DONT give up, we won't xx
    • Sober_As
      Sober_As vickylou

      Posted

      Thank you, Vickylou.  I appreciate your empathy with my situation.  It means so much, that you care.  I am a very lonely person.

      I am keeping trying.  AGAIN !

      Angel xx

  • Paper_fairy
    Paper_fairy Sober_As

    Posted

    Hi my dear Angel. Sorry I've not been on this discussion when you have been one of my dearest friends on here. I feel your pain because I'm in pain too. I just can't find the will to stop. Passed out last night. Yesterday I woke with a massive red graze above and below my eye. Someone must have come in and punched me while I was sleeping..lol !!! This is my longest binge since 4 years ago when I was a 24/7 drinker( before rehab).

    What the hell is going on? Why can't we find the strength to get well again?

    I just can't stop. Hope you have a better day than me today. Lots of love to you xxxxx

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