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Lower than a snakes belly ,

Posted , 6 users are following.

amandabradley
amandabradley

I've suffered depression since I was 16, but learnt to cope until it hit me hard 10 years ago I'm 46Now and the last year as been horrendous , with numerous un successful suicide attempts , i have Now started to drink a lot too to cope with my moods which is not good , I have a wonderful husband and 19 yr old son whom I've put through hell but they still love and support me , I've been struggling to get help for 10 yrs , Finally I thought I'd got it with the crisis team who came to see me at home rather than go intohospital that lasted 2 weeks now I'm on my own again does anyone really care about us people with depression ???? I feel worthless and most of time don't want to be here as I feel I can't cope with The pain I'm in mentally and the pain I'm causing my family they are suffering too :-(((( xxx

0 likes, 21 replies

21 Replies

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  • AnonymousWoman
    AnonymousWoman amandabradley

    Posted

    Amanda, thank you for sharing with us. I know that is hard. Please please please don't blame yourself for this. Your family are only in pain because they care about you and they don't like to see you suffer. I lost an uncle due to suicide. His family were devastated by it and even now, years later, I can still see their pain. 

    The fact that you care so much about how your family feel shows me that you are a loving mother and wife.

    Have you tried telling someone close to you about how you feel at the moment, a family member or a friend you can trust? If it helps at all, I believe you can get through. You've gotten this far and I know it was hard, and hellish at times but I think you are so strong to have gotten through. 

    We are here for you xx

  • callishiraz
    callishiraz amandabradley

    Posted

    Dear Amanda, I understand what it is to struggle with depression and I have suffered with it from age 16 and I am now 57. I also understand too well the effect that alcohol and depression combined can have - my beloved husband suffered from depression and self medicated with alcohol - he took his own life whilst under the influence leaving me bereft and 4 children grief stricken and having to grow up without a father. Alcohol lowers your inhibitions and makes you more vulnerable to suicide - this is DANGEROUS - please take heed - I have been without my love for 15 years and still feel the effects every day - I look at how much my children have missed and want to weep for them. Please think of your family and do not leave them this terrible legacy. I do not share this easily and this is the first time I have taken time to reply to a post but I felt I needed to when I saw your post.
  • AnonymousWoman
    AnonymousWoman amandabradley

    Posted

    Hi Amanda, 

    Just wanted to say that I hope you're doing alright and managing a bit better now! smile 

    anonymousgirl

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