Marijuana Induced Hell (PLEASE READ/HELP)

I laugh at your name because it's a little over the top. I agree with other posters that state that it's not the marihuana itself, but the other drugs that are mixed with the plant itself. Even though marihuana can still induce anxiety itself as well as paranoia, it shouldn't be to the point where it almost drove you insane. I am more than sure that something was mixed with it. After all, unless you actually bought it in a store with some sort of claim so the consumer is protected, then Who knows what and where the hell the stuff came from and that's all drugs. Drug dealers will cut other drugs and mix them with the main product in order to make you more addicted so they have a reliable clientele and so they don't run out of money. They're not in it for you, just your cash and they're using your addiction for stable business. As far as bettering your life, you're already taking the best steps, but when you talk about anxiety that's a whole other animal my friend. First off I'm not huge on pills and medication. Pills are quick fixes or miracle drugs, if you will, but can cause

More problems down the road. If it were me and this is because it's mental, your path to recovery is two fold; physical and mental. Physically you're doing all the right things, but I can tell you're stressed and you're doing the "right" things because you've been told they are right, but what is good for one person is not good for another. You need to tailor your physical to your mental. Don't run and eat specific things because someone told you to. You need to find an exercise routine that makes you happy. You need to find a school program that makes you happy. You need eat healthy things that makes you happy. See where I'm going with this? I think the more you learn about yourself and you tailor the things you're doing to who you are, you're anxiety will lessen because not only will you be living that jerky life style but you'll be doing it on YOUR terms. That's what the marijuanna(or what was in it) robbed you of and I have no doubt that's why you have this anxiety now. Own your life and own your happiness. Some people weight lift, some do Zumba, some do martial arts. I truly believe the more you do the things you want the more your confidence in yourself will rise and your anxiety should lessen. Don't let that drug haunt you. You've got this.

I laugh at your name because it's a little over the top. I agree with other posters that state that it's not the marihuana itself, but the other drugs that are mixed with the plant itself. Even though marihuana can still induce anxiety itself as well as paranoia, it shouldn't be to the point where it almost drove you insane. I am more than sure that something was mixed with it. After all, unless you actually bought it in a store with some sort of claim so the consumer is protected, then Who knows what and where the hell the stuff came from and that's all drugs. Drug dealers will cut other drugs and mix them with the main product in order to make you more addicted so they have a reliable clientele and so they don't run out of money. They're not in it for you, just your cash and they're using your addiction for stable business. As far as bettering your life, you're already taking the best steps, but when you talk about anxiety that's a whole other animal my friend. First off I'm not huge on pills and medication. Pills are quick fixes or miracle drugs, if you will, but can cause

More problems down the road. If it were me and this is because it's mental, your path to recovery is two fold; physical and mental. Physically you're doing all the right things, but I can tell you're stressed and you're doing the "right" things because you've been told they are right, but what is good for one person is not good for another. You need to tailor your physical to your mental. Don't run and eat specific things because someone told you to. You need to find an exercise routine that makes you happy. You need to find a school program that makes you happy. You need eat healthy things that makes you happy. See where I'm going with this? I think the more you learn about yourself and you tailor the things you're doing to who you are, you're anxiety will lessen because not only will you be living that healthy life style but you'll be doing it on YOUR terms. That's what the marijuanna(or what was in it) robbed you of and I have no doubt that's why you have this anxiety now. Own your life and own your happiness. Some people weight lift, some do Zumba, some do martial arts. I truly believe the more you do the things you want the more your confidence in yourself will rise and your anxiety should lessen. Don't let that drug haunt you. You've got this.

Hey,

I went through the same thing that you went through had too much hash cake with my friend one day.. i was fine the next day however after a week i stated getting spaced out even without weed i felt like i was in a constant high.... i went through the same that you are going through.. like you i wasn't sucidal but at the back of my head i knew in the long run i would kill myself if this wouldn't stop... however i read your post i read the comments below and stated to fight my way back i tried looking at the positive side and felt i was in a spiritual journey... i started working out, going for long runs, sleeping early and getting up early... Ultimtely i realized may be i felt this was due to the trauma caused when having excess weed , when you get too high you start wondering how did you get here, which way is in and out..... So this trauma somehow stays in your head..... However i came out of this mess a few days back by just reminding myself that reality is beautiful and everything in life is the mind set.. shutdown that setup baout you going crazy, don not think about how your vision has changed, or how different your mental setup has ended up.... Just focus on living each moment, donot think about the future or  the past .. all that you have is this moment and please stop changing places.. go to the place where your loved ones are and spend time with them... And trust me you will get by this phase because every thing is temporary in this world ... and above all have faith in the universe, faith can move mountains.. this really worked for me and i am fine today.... much love  stay safe and stop overthinking and love yourself remember you only live once so theres no point wasting it thinking about the crazy sh*t going on in your mind, just go with the flow and shutdown the crazy thoughts....

Okay I'll start by saying I'm young but I think we are experiencing similar symptoms. I got high on weed In April of 2013. I took way too many hits and I didn't really know what to expect but that night I felt really bad and my vision was really messed up ( depth perception went in and out ). My mouth was really dry and there was a weird feeling throughout my body. The feeling as I can best describe it is TV static but not like your foot being asleep, but that without the needle sensation. That went on for months. I went to a doctor and they said it was my body's way of dealing with stress. That didn't and still doesn't make sense to me and I'm pretty sure that's not what it is. I have a pattern figured out, after that it was pretty random but it only happens when I'm outside. And now I'm putting it together, it only happens during the summer-ish months when the sun is out. And I thought it was completely gone aside from some lasting anxiety and other small symptoms. But here we are in March 2015 and it happened to me again today. The way I deal with it is simply sunglasses. If I even come close to thinking about it, the " hallucination " comes back in short waves. I couldn't find my sunglasses and started panicking because I had to be outside for 2 more hours and the sun wasnt going down any time soon. But I found them and they work for me. If you have the same visualization problems I'm having, I hope this will work for you. But I'm still looking for answers as to what's wrong with me if you know anything please reply.

I also forgot a few important things, sorry haha. In this pass year, they only happened a few times while I was out without sunglasses. Also, because I'm stupid and thought it was okay. I got high again ( I used a bowl the first time, just a joint this time ) and the same thing happened. But only for the high period and then it went away. I smoked with a friend and he was fine, so I know it's not laced or anything

I also forgot a few important things, sorry haha. In this pass year, they only happened a few times while I was out without sunglasses. Also, because I'm stupid and thought it was okay. I got high again ( I used a bowl the first time, just a joint this time ) and the same thing happened. But only for the high period and then it went away. I smoked with a friend and he was fine, so I know it's not laced or anything

Thank you for sharing your story. I'm going on 15 years now since my terriying episode with maijuana, and I only recently started researching others' experiences only within the last couple of weeks. The delay may sound peculiar, but I reached the nadir of my mental health earlier this year, and that has spurred me to embark into deep retrospection in order to try and ascertain first causes of my affliction. 

What I have found in reading others' personal accounts of "bad highs" has truly astounded me. It has been a revelation. My trauma with marijuana, and I'm finally comfortable calling it such, was the single most bizarre, otherwordly experience I have ever had in my life. The very fundamentals of reality were eviscerated from my being and experience. I had bodily sensations that defied any materiality that I had ever encountered before. The experience of it, the conscious theater of the mind, was so distorted and warped, it was like I was no longer human. I wish I had the ability to describe it in a way that enabled understanding in another, or at the very least, mental apprehension, but the event truly defies description. It was a nightmare from which there was no waking.

And then the after effects set in. I had (and continue to have) the same problems with my vision that you described (halos, distortions, and additionally: entopic phenomena when looking at bright lights (retinal blood vessels were markedly visible) and prolonged "afterimages" of things (and not just from direct light sources). I felt an extreme suppression of my mental acuity; I no longer had the mental vitality that I once had. I had extreme depersonalization/derealization, and I developed phobias to marijuana that led to consistent handwashing after having contact with surfaces that had even the slightest chance of containing marijuana residue, if a nearly infinitesimal amount (which ended up being nearly everything). I didn't trust anyone anymore (as I was convinced that what I smoked was spiked with something, that it was all a part of a gag my friends played on me). I had no emotional response to anything, and I felt that I had a continuous "hangover" from the stuff. My attentiveness was severely diminished, and my participation in school was nil, and my brain didn't produce any feelings of consequence from my complete checking-out from life. And then the panic attacks came. I wouldn't be able to sit for extended periods, because when my nerves because senstized to the surface that they were in contact with from being in contact with it for a prolonged period of time, I perceived that I was "melting into" the furniture just like what had happened during my bad high, and that would set of the cascade of panic and additional flashback symptoms that brought about even more panic. These were nearly daily for months. And I never sought any help. I was sure that there was no way I'd be able to communicate my circumstances, that the idiosyncracy of it could never be normalized. And I was a "gifted" child in grade school and was enrolled in advanced classes in highschool, but my trauma left me nearly incapacitated. I only began to feel like "myself" after a year, but I remained different in a very fundamental way. I performed so below my potential on my college entrance exams because of my condition, and I have such anger towards this horrible substance because of that. I even based my choice of university on how unlikely I perceived marijuana use to be at the institution. 

So now, at 30 years-old, I am stuck doing menial tasks in a middling position as a sales person/account manager, and I feel like I have blown my entire life. I have had such overwhelming feelings of self-doubt, perfectionistic tendencies, depression, anxiety, and fear that I can barely function. It feels like a triumph just getting out of bed in the morning. But I know that this is not a cause of the traumatic drug episode, but rather, these are issues that I have had my entire life. Hearing everyone's story about how bad anxiety X drug use is has been a revelation, and it is helping me fully heal from the trauma, but the underlying issues that made me susceptible to such a horrible episode are still being wrestled with. However, I have been in therapy for a couple of years now, I have confronted my father about his sever mistreatment of me, and I have researched an abundance of psychological theory and etiological ideologies. And if there is one certainty that I have surmised from my investigations, it is that not allowing yourself to be truly 'seen', adapting your behavior and cognition to circumstances (to the extent that your own self-concept has transmogrified (even without conscious intent), and not allowing yourself to live authentically are what kills you. And if you kill that part of yourself off for good, you will have no problem killing the person that has taken its place. You need to mourn for what you have lost and what you can't get back again--you absolutely must not attempt to fulfill the loss with substitutions and transferrences. Grieve for it. And then start to live. 

Hi everyone !!!

It feels good to know that I am not the only one who is going through these rought times. Well my story also started like the rest of you. I was never a habitual drug user, I had tried weed only once or twice my entire life. Then the fateful day of 21 January 2015 arrived and I smoked a joint. We were 8 or 9 friends and I puffed quite deep breaths. There was always a part of me that never wanted to try or do drugs and was always afraid of it. But I surpressed that person and went along with the hit.

The feelings I got were the worst that I had experienced in all my life, I never realized that humans were able to feel such extreme feelings. My heart was racing as if it had been injected with adrenanile. Voices seemed to be far and distant, I could only hear my extremely eleavted heartbeat. The only thought that came to my mind was that this is it and this is how I will die. After 3-4 hours my condition got better and I slept. When I woke I still had that hazy feeling around me, like you just feel that there is this fog that clouds everthing. A week later, I suffered another panic attack and I went to the ER. 

Since then it has been close to two months and I am still suffereing a bit from the mental hazziness. I always used to think that I had taken for granted everything that I had been given. I mean I am the top scorer in my university, I take part in dramatics. I had a loving family but I never paid much importance to these factors in my life I generally used to be unhappy about everything. Always dreaming about that elusive thing.

Anyways coming back to my story,at first I did not know what was wrong with me? I believed that maybe this was a sideeffect of smoking laced weed and with time it'll get out of my system. But gradually I realized that maybe this wasn't because of the weed it is sotmhing else. So, I googled like crazy to find what was wrong with me and I diagnosed that I was suffering from anxiety. I never visited a pshycatrist or I never took any pill for my illness. The reason I never took a pill was because I knew that it would only make my condition worse because it has a lot of side effects. 

Instead I found out that the best way to cope with it is to confront it directly. I mean anxiety gets you all messed up in your thought processes. You start questioning everyone and everything and somethimes you come with the most illogical and irrational of thoughts. Instead of hiding from these thoughts go ahead and explore them. Don't shy away from them and don't let them control you. For instance, and this is just one aspect, when I suffered from my first attack, I became very afraid of performing onstage. I thought that I was going to mess up performance and everybody is going to have a field day making fun of me. Everyday I thought about it and I became afraid of going on stage even though I loved performing and entertaining people. So, one day you know what I did ? I said "SO WHAT?" I am still going to perform on the stage because that is what I ahve been doing and I love it. So I volunteered for hosting an upcoming welcome party and absolutely aced it. Everybody loved it. From that moment on I realzied that anxiety is only as strong as you allow it to be. Acceptance is the key to handling it. 

Personally, I found that my anxiety is health related. I mean I am obseessed with the idea that there is something majorly wrong with me and that know can find out what that is. Also, I get really irritated by these symptoms of dizziness/ligh headedness/tension headaches/pressure on forehead etc. But I should realize that these are all a side effect of too much adrenaline. 

Similarly, I had these bouts of depression where I would have this hollow or empty feeling and I would feel like everything is just a waste of time. Its the mix of axiety and depression that really puts us in a bad place. You continously feel a guilt that you shouldn't have taken that hit. And that you have ruined your life. Personally, I found that such feelings can totally ruin your recovery stage. The method on how I dealt with them was that I would tell my self if it weren't for the marijuana, I would have faced it in another way. All in all I would HAVE to come face to face with my anxiety because it was always there. I totally agree with jake28157, these feelings of anxiety and depression were always within us and we were really good at locking them up and throwing away the key and now they have come back with a vengance, taking revenge for the years of neglect. But instead of treating them as our enemy we must look at it as our friend. Because remember that axiety is nothing more than a really solid defence mechanism and currently it percieves that we are in a constant state of danger. We just have to teach our brain that everything is fine and you dont need to get so hyper. So how do you do that ?

Its really very simple you know, the feeling of stress and relaxation are triggered by our limbic system, and it is very easy to trick the limbic system into engaing the relaxation system. All you have to do is be NORMAL, what is normal ? It is letting everything be as it is I mean stop trying so hard. Its like meeting that girl you have a crush on, if you try too hard you will never impress her. But if you be yourself you just might be successful. Same principle here, just learn to enjoy the things you loved, smile frequently, sing along to your favourite song, walk in a relaxing manner, just the little things. by doing these things, you will reprogramm your limbic system. STOP THE AVOIDANCE TECHNIQUES, it will only reinforce the belief that there is an imminent danger. See a stranger ? Dont run away. go ahead and have a friendly chat, show your brain that it is fine to talk to strangers.

I agree with everyone that you are not going to get your old life back, but you know what? the new life is going to be so much more better because you are going to learn from this and you are going to grow trust me. I mean I have found a new perspective on life, I have found that how disrespectful I had been to all the blessings in my life and now I value these little things a lot more.

I am so glad that you have been able to successfully overcome your fears and are on a path to recovery and have almost made it. May GOD grant you your wishes and give you all the help

As for the rest of the people who think that they are hopeless. YOU ARE NOT. In fact you have no disease or illness that is incurable. There is a cure, and that cure is within YOU. I know that at this point it is very hard to believe such talk but you can and will overcome this. Have faith in yourself and the Almighty . Wishing you all a speedy and safe recovery. Stay blessed everyone

Listen to me bro listen to what i have to say, the aniexty youre feeling is something that has awakened inside you. you have to learn to conquer it. i have it too. not everybody gets it. its not something everybody is awakened with. Its something only some people get. But you have a choice to either submit to it or conquer it. its a test. life wont ever get any easier untill you overcome it. so are you going to give up and live in a room by yourself forever or are you gonna find the strength inside yourself and get that anxiety- free life you want ? dont ever give up my friend and Dont listen to these people theres nothing wrong with you. there just gonna make you overthink and make youre anxiety worse. you werent drugged or posioned youre just going through a test in life.

If youre going to make the decsion to continue to smoke weed with youre aniexty its going to be even harder. because for some people marijuana makes aniexty worse.

Maan i feel you. When i was about 12 i smoked for the first time, which was the worst mistake ever. I took a couple of hits, Then it hit me. Later that day i fell asleep, but the next morning i still felt "out of it". I couldnt talk right. I couldnt think right. It was horrible maaan. Since i was 12, i was scared, So i started looking online. I started exercising, and doing things differently. Its the wierdest feeling ever. I swear. I hate when i look at bright light, thats when i feel it the most.

I would say the depersonalization went away 50%. Just stop thinking about it, focus on career goals etc. Goodluck-Jojo

I've overdone it a few times. It happens. Weed is far too strong these days. But you will recover. You need to say 'f--k it' lots of times, say to yourself you don't care about feeling anxious. Go to the gym, run, swim, drink some beers, conteract the effects. You will feel better. If you focus too much on needing medical help your creating a problem, almost..... keeping it going? D'you know what I mean? If you'd smoked a very minimal amount and had one foot in this world and one in the stoned world you would have enjoyed it. Many people do - that's why it's so popular..... It's losing yourself and being out of control that is hideous. If you'd drunk a bottle of whisky and given yourself alchohol poisoning, ended up in hospital, rather than drinking a bottle of beer, you'd be saying alchohol nearly killed me and why on earth does anyone do it? You just made a mistake. It's not for everyone for sure, but it can be a good experience in TINY amounts. You will 100 percent recover. say to yourself ' I don't care if i'm anxious'

I also don't care if i'm calm'! blow a few rasberries! Laugh a bit at yourself.... it will stop having power over you I promise.