Posted , 23 users are following.
Hi
I don’t know if this is the right place to post this but any advice would be great.
I am 31 years old I have been married to my wife who is 30 for 6 year and we have not had sex in 4 years. She has NO sex drive what-so-ever. I want to have sex with my wife but she has absolutely no interest. She never gets horny, she never wants to be touched, and she refuses to even let me touch her. We can’t hold hands, hug or kiss. She will hug and kiss our kids but not me.
This start as soon as she got pregnant with our 2nd child. I thought it was just a pregnant thing and I was ok with it, but 4 year on and she is the same. The hardest part is that we are young and I don’t know if I can spent my whole life not having sex, but the only person I want to have sex with is my wife.
0 likes, 28 replies
travis79635
Posted
doreen51824 geek
Posted
All women have individual responses and some of them return their libido back in 3-4 months, others require much more time.
First of all suggest your wife to consult a medical specialist who can discuss the problem with her and do any necessary tests. Your wife should also realise that it is time to consult a doctor, because there are certain sex benefits for women and the lack of sexual life can lead to some health issues later. Think that the doctor will help her, as there are different hormonal medications that are used in such cases.
This problem can be also caused due to some psychological reasons, that is why it is important to show your support and understanding in this matter. Do not force your wife, it will not give any results. Try to find some helpful info about the importance of sex in internet and discuss these with your wife (again - do not force).
Hope this is helpful.
jediss geek
Posted
I went through a similar thing about 18 months ago where I didn't want to have sex with my wife because I thought I was worthless. Talk to your wife about it and tell her what your worries are and I'm sure she will understand. Ask her to see her doctor and ask for a referal to a Psycosexual therapist which was what I had to do. Communication is key , the longer it festers the harder on the relationship. Dont make the mistake some people do and have sex with someone else, It will consume you and the guilt will be horrendous
Dr_heinricht geek
Posted
The key important thing here is honesty and communication
Good luck
absa61081 geek
Posted
Richard426 geek
Posted
First this is not unusual, I say that first to reassure you, This can be caused by a lot of things. I can tell you from experience that non sexual affection ( this includes the touchhing kind and the genral relationship kind) wont hurt anything. From what youve said Ill also say you have my respect. Encourage and support herer in taking this to the doctor. Oh and to a lot of women, a dad who spends time with the kids and loves and laughs with them is a big turn-on. Over all this is not somethnng that can be properly address short of medical intervention, it can be psychological, relationship, many thimes physiological, most of the time it is a combination of all the above. In the mean time take the kids to grandmaw one night and do what ever relaxes her, and purposely leave anything to do with sex out of it (massage yes ,but not as a come on)
edwin55187 geek
Posted
She just doesn't want sex, she is saying.
But now she told me she wants to have a vasectomy.
Why she would need that?
gina08458 geek
Posted
He suffers from PME , he always did, but he used to be romantic, loving and able to make love. Now I don't know why he is so distant. I talked to him but always some pretension , tired, no time, baby sleeping etc etc.
I have a healthy sex drive like 2 times a week is fine but here it's been 3 years now. I don't know what can be done. He is not interested to get harmone therapy. We have been together for 9 years and now baby is involved I don't know what can be done, it's soul breaking when I see I am so called married woman . We got married after baby was born and did not have sex even on marriage night on holidays or even any other day...
scott24556 gina08458
Posted
Sounds like a harrowing situation. I am 45 and my wife is 10 years older than me. Her libido has pretty much dropped off the face of the earth. She really has no sex drive at all. It returns occasionally but more not than often. I know this sounds messed up but her sex drive used to be incredible. I often wonder how driven she was when she was younger and was married twice before me. Again, this sounds horrible but I often find myself getting the short end of the stick. Like I've been cheated. I love her but it seems like we are roommates that share the same bed. Our sex life has gone from pretty incredible to nonexistent. The thought of her younger self really stays in my mind. Her exes were the lucky w*****s and here I am getting the crap end of the deal. I've tried my best to engage her in any way that I could. I truly love her but I'm really not sure that we are on the same page when it comes to her feelings being mutual. I am very very frustrated in every applicable sense of the meaning. Maybe things will turn around but the likelihood of that happening doesn't seem credible. The question mark should be elusive. But it is far from that. I am glad I have found this site. I am not a cheater but in her first marriage she had an affair. Who knows. I am rambling.
amy2326 geek
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dug23835 geek
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andrew46586 geek
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liz49651 geek
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craig29681 geek
Posted
Hope things work out for you.
matt_86983 geek
Posted
When our wives - the one person in the whole world that we are closer to than anyone else - stop sex and reject us over and over again, it is beyond hurtful. I am coming up to three years without any kind of intimacy. She says she can't and also is refusing to get counselling and medical help.
She suffers from depression and is being treated for that. She will not go to psychological counsellors. She has agreed to marriage counselling and I am hopeful she will follow through with that.
I love her but there is no way I can be in a non-intimate marriage for the rest of my life. She is so cold and unloving - completely opposite to how she was when we met and courted.
She suffered from Post-natal depression after our daughter was born 5 years ago. She had taken herself off depression medication whilst pregnant. It was only after 8 months of asking her to see a Dr that she went back to medication. But she has refused counselling.
We have endured financial hardships and she has oscillated between wanting more kids and stopped all sex so there was no chance of ever falling pregnant. After being non-intimate for 6 months she then told me she can't have sex because she doesn't have any desire to.
And it has been this way for a further 2 1/2 years.
I am a good husband. I cook. I clean. I do the laundry. I massage her aching feet and back. I adore the kids. But I am yelled at and villified as if I spent all my time at the pub and screwed around on her - I am not and have never.
I am at my wits end.
Justin_123 matt_86983
Posted
I'm going through exactly the same thing and have walked out on her and my children. I can't take it anymore. I love them both deeply buy it is hurting me too much. Lately she has started sleeping in his room and it was the straw that broke the camels back for me. Any advice ease I'm so depressed over this.
john3363 Justin_123
Posted
This is what did it for me to get back my wife back
Step 1 . When she argues just say im sorry but there is no talki g to you at this time i will talk when you are not in such a bad mood
Step 2 be constant i told my wife i loved her every night and day
Step 3 proberly the most important
If you dont already be a part of the childrens day get up make their lunches cook dinner and help with the house work..
Step 4 dont force her to do some thing she doesnt want be patiant
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