Married No sex Atrophic Vagina symptoms

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57 - Sex painful impossible because vagina opening has shrunk also causes severe bladder irritation when attempt penetration.  Has been many years since we have had sex, early on with the disease - problems when having sex were amplified by my husband worried about hurting me - erectile malfunctions - Now My husband is used to masterbation/online porn and when I try other methods to be close it does not work because of his new brain path  - I have lost all desire and hope of being desirable - Is this what your fifties are supposed to be like - I have nothing to guage because people lie about their sexuality - Am I alone?

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  • Posted

    Hi Cheryl please don't give up! Demand more of Your GP. There are vaginal expanders available that you can use daily to gently ' open' you up a bit more and they are available on the NHS. allocate to see a lady gynaecologist who might recommend an op for the bladder issues ad it could have lapsed a little into the vaginal canal. Ivalso found that Vaginal vaginal pessaries helped. Good luck Jane
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  • Posted

    Jeda Thanks - I do have a female GYN who is young and has same nonplussed response as my GP - It is so discouraging - The recommended Premarin which caused bleeding in less than a month - stopped using - I have always been plagued with intercourse induced bladder infections - Now it is amplyfied 100 fold - intercourse has never been easy but I did enjoy feeling sexual - that is all gone now
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  • Posted

    OMG  Cheryl, I thought I was all alone, I have sobbed & sobbed, lost 4 stone in weight with the worry.  My husband of 40 years is a  COMPUSIVE   Addict of Internet Porn,  he gets up at 6.00am, goes to the toilet then onto his Porn sites and then again he goes to bed around 8.00pm so that he can get on his Porn sites  EVERY DAY

    I got some excuse about him having a sore back and as not to disturb me he moved into the spare bedroom. Total lies.  Doing research on line, I found out that they are   compulsive liars to cover there addiction. One time I got the courage to bring up the matter, his answer to me was....I am not having an affair, I am not going with prostitutes, SO GET OVER IT.  I have been living with this situation for more than 3 years, and I now believe this has been going on for a lot longer that that. 

    I don't know what the answer is, I am just taking one day at a time. It may be some consolation to you, to know you are not alone.

    Take Care X

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  • Posted

    Cheryl, my symptoms began in my 50's after menopause, but as I'm not married I decided to conentrate on my life instead of men about that time so trying to have sex was not as issue. Gyno's would bring it up as exams have gotten increasingly painful, but as my sex drive is greatly diminished I couldn't see why I should start using hormones so I let nature take its course. My latest doc seems to think I should use them to prevent problems down the road. Have been toying with the idea, but haven't taken the plunge. Sounds as though you need some couples counseling.Your husband may not be open to that idea, but it's worth bringing up the topic. Personally I think online porn has become insidious and has probably completely distorted young people's concept of what sex is supposed to be. Jeda's  recommendations are pretty sensible and worth a try. Re female vs. male doctors I thought females would be better, but it hasn't proven to be the case for me.

    In the meantime look for other ways to be happy in life. I  can attest to the fact that they exist. Good luck with whatever path you take. B.

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    • Posted

      Yes it does make me feel much better. Very similar situation. I told him porn was addictive that it was ruining any possible type of intimacy and anger was the response. He is very happy if i sleep in other room or go away for a few days. I know he is not cheating in the literal sense and that he loves me guess that's a positive
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  • Posted

    Hi cheryl 

    i was diagnised with AV by my gyno, i am age 50 post meno.. No HRT 

    but he suggested Ovestin Vaginal ovules ( estriol the kinder estrogen) and ovestin vaginal cream for the outer bits.

    it doeant enter blood stream or help any other meno symptoms, but it works for dryness, i have been using since Sept and its brill..

    i only use half and ovule twice a week, and also a tiny bit of the cream on outer bits especially vaginal entrance .. Also helps bladder sensitivity too .. 

    the Ovestin ovules  ( or ovestinon as they are called here) are very soothing, and not messy, they are opague in colour and the cream is good too

    good luck

    jayxx

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  • Posted

    I have same problem been bout 3 years since able to have intercourse.  Tried various treatments but the ones with hormones in give me bad tummy pains.  Now got a new one which if I only used about every third day seems not to upset me to much.  Not sure whether it's helped as yet because I'm scared of trying too soon.  I also have the enlargers to try again if the cream helps.  I couldn't have my smear test it has got so bad.  My partner is quite patient really he would live for it all to be OK again but certainly doesn't use pron.
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  • Posted

    Hi Cheryl, I use HRT cream (rather messy) and dilators. If I miss a week I am right back to square one. I hate them and I find them painful to use but without them sex and examinations would be impossible. I wish I had a great answer that could help us all but we are teaching ourselves on here.
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  • Posted

    Deb, how often do you use the dilators...once a week?
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