May have herpes--BUT I'M A VIRGIN!! Please help
Posted , 15 users are following.
Hello all. I am seriously so devastated and depressed about what's going on with my lately.
I am a 19 year old female currently enrolled in college. I have a boyfriend that I met about 7 months ago.
I told him about my values in waiting until marriage to have sex. He didn't have a problem with it and never pressures me.
I was not opposed to having oral sex, however. This may be the reason why I'm going through what I am.
My partner has NEVER had a cold sore on his mouth or any kind of sore on his genitals. He has always used protection before me and has been faithful to me since we met (there's proof, so I am trying to eliminate that possibility)
He gets STD tested every year. But STD Tests do not check for herpes.
I woke up with a very high fever/headache. I noticed a lot of burning sensations when I used the restroom. I then noticed the bumps increasing in redness and size. I applied a feminine hydrocortizone cream, but it may have inflammed a little more with that.
I assumed that I had a UTI. I then started researching and got really worried about certain STDs. I went to my doctor and got tested for a UTI. She said there was some bacteria there, but maybe not enough for my symtomps I'm going through.
She took a look and instantly said "This looks herpetic; We have to culture these!" I AM IN SHOCK COMPLETELY I START CRYING IN THE CLINIC.
The next 30 mins or so of my appointment was spent on questions about me, my partner, our activities, etc. She said the test results will come back in 2-3 days and I shall get called back into her office.
Honestly I have looked up all the symptoms and I fit all of them; but the bumps don't really look like open sores. It is very very painful down there, and I'm assuming this would be the worst of a first outbreak if I test positive.
My partner is also getting a blood test, because he has no bumps/sores to get cultured. I know that he may have the virus and it could lie dormant, but he has not performed oral sex on anyone other than me and has used protection every time.
I personally have remained faithful within our relationship. I am still very young, and scared about my results. I never thought something like this could happen to me--someone whose never even had vaginal or anal sex. My partner's genitals were no where in contact to mine. Skin-to-skin contact was not made.
My worse fear is finding out that my test is positive. I did look up the possibility of having the Staff Infection on my genitals. That could be a possibility, but I'm not sure.
I know this sounds like it's my fault, but i'm really struggling to understand why/how this happened. I have been very emotional and my partner has been crying for me, while trying to be supportive. This is very hard for the both of us.
Please help me into guidance of what I may have? My results will come in about 3 more days. I will have 5 finals to study and prepare for when I recieve the phone call.
Thank you
0 likes, 17 replies
archemedes k49750
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feelbroken k49750
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Not everyone breaks out like you see online. Those are the worst case scenarios w sores. If you want, you can take a pic and crop it, so I can only see the bumps and post it on here, but it does sound like it from what you are describing.
My recurrent obs (ob or obs stands for outbreaks) aren't ever sores.. I usually like I did Friday morning, just wake up and have a red bump..
Take as many Epsom salt baths as you can to get some relief and take 800mlgs of motrin every 4hrs. Did she provide you w any numbing gel or spray?
Hun, most people get oral herpes when they are kids, from an infected adult kissing them. Hsv 1 is known as oral herpes a d HSV 2 is known as genital herpes, however, oral herpes can be spread to the genitals through oral sex.
Condoms only provide 30% protection from herpes and HPV. So even if he did use condoms all the time, he could of still contracted it. Asbi mentioned, herpes don't require penetration to pass, it simply requires skin to skin contact of the mouth or genitals.
I just saw you said you didn't have skin to skin contact w his genitals, so I believe it to been passed from oral sex.
Listen, this is not your fault or your partners fault. It can and doea happen to anyone. It was just a bad luck of the draw. It happens all the time. 70% of new genital herpes cases in the UK are from oral sex and they are about 30-50% in the US. It is at the fault of our poor sexual education and STD testing. The lack of knowledge on someone's status and lack of education, is what causes this to be am epidemic.
.I am so sorry you are going through this and it is horrible, believe me I know. . but you will get to a place of acceptance. There is w out a doubt a grieving process once one finds out they have herpes. You will for a couple of months run through all the scenarios of how this will impact future relationships and that is normal. Just know I have 6 gfs w genital herpes. 5 are married w kids and yes, all had a positive status before their husbands and they all delivered vaginally and the kids were healthy. The 6th friend has had it for 9yrs and has had multiple relationships and no rejections. Only one out of the group has experienced rejection for a relationship, but they were still willing to sleep w her, so goes to show they used it as an excuse to not have a relationship and they were just after sex the entire time.
Since you are choosing to wait for marriage, the partner you end up telling will be the one that's going to be your husband and when a relationship is at that level, he is not going yo walk away and if he does, who wants a partner for life like that? Herpes is nothing, no different than people who walk around w those big sores on their lips, you and I are no different than they are.
Be patient w yourself, it is normal to feel the way you do. When things clear up and you can go about your daily life, you will start to feel hope again and as it continues, you will feel that more and more, until acceptance takes place.
Hang in there, a lot of us have been there. If it hurts to use the pathrokm, run a shallow bath to sit in and go. If no bath, use a warm cup of water to pour on you as you go. Separating your lips can help and even applying Vaseline and a heavy coating to protect the infected skin when you pass urine will help as well. Try wrapping a cold pack w paper towels and wedge between your legs while you rest. Start boosting you immune system w the following.
- 2000mlgs of vitamin C & D
- double doses of zinc and magnesium during obs, but regular daily dosage every day w no obs.
- all vitamin Bs
- daily live culture probiotic.
Unfortunately there is not a whole lot you can do for pain on your primary ob.. You just gotta rest and ride it out. It will end, don't worry. Don't fear the recurrent obs either, they will be nothing like the first. I've never been in pain from my recurrent and can do the same physical activity I'd do w no ob. Hang in there doll.
liz75523 feelbroken
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k49750 feelbroken
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Please post anything else you feel may help.. I get my test results back tomorrow/the next day and am so so nervous.
god bless you, thank you for everything
feelbroken liz75523
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Most people w hsv 1 on their genitals, ever have another ob again and/or if they do, its for the first yr and then a decade or more w out. My bump I got Friday was a red bump w some minor swelling around it and today it is merely just a bright red flat dot, no bump. Never blistered or turned into an ulcer. That is how my recurrents have been and I have hsv 2 and autoimmune disorders, which means my body has a harder time, as my immune system is in overdrive. Hsv 1 on the genitals sheds and breaks out half the time as hsv 2. The likely hood of passing it to your partner is very low. So the following statistics of transmission rate female to male, sex 2-3xs a week yearly and abstaining during signs/symptoms are as follows.
- no condoms or daily suppressive therapy: 4%
- condoms or meds: 2%
- condoms and meds: 1%
These figures are for HSV 2, so you're to cut them almost in half, in regards to transmission risk w genital HSV 1, due to being less active when not in its home base and preference...
When you get past this primary ob, you'll realize as time passes, you are no different than you were before this.. We treat oral herpes like it's nothing and it should be viewed the same as genital herpes. We just get caught up in the stigmatization of it all and herpes jokes we hear in movies or from people.
Listen, I went to my first putting around a lot of people a month after infection and had to listen to my first herpes joke by a friend.. I had dreaded this moment ans thought I'd be crushed, but it didn't.. It just made me realize, especially w out forward I am, how much I really need to watch what I say around others, as yiu really have no idea what battle they are fighting. It was a an awakening for me in many aspects in my life from how I really need to give my body the nutrients it absolutely needs, having even more compassion and empathy for others ans I need to help others where I can help and make a difference and be careful what you say... There is always a silver lining in bad situations and I feel confident you both will find yours, just as I did and will continue to do. Hang in there. You both can feel free to private message me if need be to rant and for advice.
liz75523 feelbroken
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feelbroken liz75523
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Good, glad I could help.
Austin17 feelbroken
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What if I've never had sex, nor any sexual intercourse. How could that be possible for me to contract herpes around my genitals. It doesn't hurt, but I've noticed little areas with bumps. I've done a lot of research but am still very confused. I haven't gone to get it checked out yet, cause I really don't know how. Im scared and really don't know what to do.
beas Austin17
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I've read that it can spread. I get a sore nose inside and now I'm thinking it was cold sores and that I've given it to myself!
gabgab feelbroken
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Hi, I think I will look stupid by saying this but,
I think I have herpes, I don't know how to send you the picture but I'll just tell my story
I'm a 15 year old boy all I do is jerkoff, when I wake up jerkoff,after going home from school jerkoff, then one day I found these little bumps in between my thighs and genitals then I already knew that I might have herpes because I'm aware of this kind of stories then I quickly looked on Google on how to get herpes but I'm a VIRGIN!! ALL I DO IS JERK OFF PLS HELP
these bumps looks like a small plastic bags, very small plastic bags on your skin that is about to be filled up by water or whatsoever pls help
liz75523 k49750
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k49750
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I am really close to my family and I have no idea if they will be able to bear this news if I tell them. I know my dad would be so dissappointed in me..he won't even care to hear the facts.
I really feel alone and independent dealing with this.. I will find out the results tomorrow/the next day but I have been preparing myself for the worst. I just feel like at 19, the rest of my life is ruined. But this forum and your comment makes me feel better.
tHANK YOU SO MUCH. god bless
feelbroken k49750
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I can assure you, your life is not ruined. My life continued on the same way as usual. It was I, that was looking through rise colored lenses after my diagnosis. Its not what the problem is, it is how you kook at the problem. Life does not care if you have herpes, your education and future career does not care if you have herpes. It is YOU that cares you have herpes. Dont feed into the social stigma of it. Your life is only ruined, because you let it be ruined by herpes. Herpes is not making you a paraplegic, have a terminal disease, disfiguring you beyond recognition.. It's changed nothing, other than a set back from normal activities like when you get the flu and having to, have one of so many uncomfortable convos, you'll have to have w a future partner. Do you see how minimal the impact of it is going to be the rest of your life? If the rest of your life is 100%, then herpes is going to be .001% of that 100% in how it will impact your life. Do you see now the bigger picture? Nobody gets devastated that they get oral herpes and feel their life is over, but some do when they get genital herpes. How is it any different? Why? Because you're allowing the ignorant stigma to define you? At least your friends, classmates and future employers will not know you have genital herpes, but they sure would know if you had it all over your mouth. Do not drink the stigma kool-aid... Your whole life is ahead of you, w or w out herpes.. Believe me .
Like if I had a choice to have a baby or get herpes, I'd choose herpes over a baby. To some this is strange, but they're both for life and one cost a heck of a lot more than the other and comes w a lot more responsibility. I don't want kids. So you see? It's all relative. So there's worse things than herpes. As the saying goes: if everyone threw their problems in one pile, you'd be fighting to take yours back. Keep your chin up.
gloria44548 feelbroken
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My question is since I'm not sure which type it is I'm trying to figure it out. I've read that mostly type 2 does not spread anywhere else on your body. I've heard type 1 would most likely spread to limbs. I'm pretty sure I've had type 1 since I was a teen because ive gotten occasional cold sores in my mouth. And I've also heard if you have it your body builds antibodies for the rest of your body parts. So I'm trying to rule out type 1 is what I recently contracted. However, I just found a few blisters on my forearm. I believe they are small blisters but around/ close to them I have bug bites . And I scratch a lot . So if its not herpes type 1 and its type 2 that I have , it can spread?
Im afraid because I have a 5 month old baby. I'm even afraid of touching her and it really depresses me. I don't want to infect her.
The other question is about my career. I'm trying to go in the Respiratory therapist program and I feel that having herpes might stop me from being able to get in to the program or if I do get in and graduate that later on I wont be able to find a job. How should I go about this?
I want to see a doctor so bad. I'm desperate to find out. Its not letting me concentrate on what I need to do in school and I'm scared to give my baby herpes or anyone near me for that matter. I really just want to isolate myself but I can't.
Thanks if you can reply back I'd appreciate it very much.
snow25382 k49750
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AnonymAlone snow25382
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