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I’ve been doing so well since Christmas (major symptoms before that including depression, panic and severe digestive probs, weight loss etc) and was feeling more positive but have had a rough few days and I’m in a complete panic today…
I was up half the night with a return of severe heartburn, acid, pain under ribs and through to back. I had to take half a valium in the end to help me sleep. The symptoms set me off worrying about terminal causes even though I’ve had a CT scan, endoscopy etc. I’ve had extremely tender breasts for nearly a week even though my period isn’t due. Also carpel tunnel type symptoms and aching joints.
Anyway, I’m always walking into rooms and forgetting what I went in for but this morning scared me. I walk my daughter and her friend to school EVERY morning. The other mum picks them up from school every afternoon EXCEPT Wednesday when I have to pick up my daughter in the afternoon (because her friend has an after school club so her mother collects her later).
I knew it was Tuesday this morning but for some reason I thought I had to pick-up my daughter from school. I actually reminded her that I would pick her up today in the afternoon. She said: “No, Mum, it’s not Wednesday.” For some reason I just could not understand what she meant. I felt totally blank and was still sure that I was picking her up. I had somehow reversed the arrangement in my head – thinking that I picked her up every day EXCEPT Wednesday instead of the opposite. I was saying: “Yes, I know it’s Wednesday tomorrow, that’s why I’m picking you up today.”
But there is no reason that I should think that. We have had the same school arrangements since last September. This went on for at least a minute with me insisting that it’s Tuesday today so I will pick her up. In the end I could see the certainty on my daughter’s face, like she was trying to explain something very simple to me (she is 11). I somehow knew at that point that I must be wrong and she was right but realised I still couldn’t work out why. I felt so scared and confused. I felt so sure I was right about the arrangement but could see from the look on her face that I wasn’t. I felt blank and confused and suddenly very panicky. She explained once more and it finally clicked (all this took at least a minute). I apologised and said I was just tired: “Of course,” I said, “I only pick you up on a Wednesday.”This has really thrown me into a spin. I’ve never felt so confused or disorientated and it’s really scared me. Has anyone else had this sort of thing?
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