Menopause hell
Posted , 19 users are following.
HAPPY NEW YEAR ..... menopausel sisters lets hope 2019 will be a better one for us even though symptoms are still as bad as they were 2 years ago for me im hoping i will be able to deal with them a bit better i still feel as crazy still have such alwful health anxieties migraines auras dizzyness moods achy joints and if that isnt enough getting fatter and more and more unreconizable in the mirror .... when i look in the mirror i see a crazy angry unhappy lady looking back someone i dont know or understand .... but hope all you loverly ladies will find the strength to have a good year
5 likes, 40 replies
AJacynM jan66332
Edited
HNY!
I too feel exactly the same as you, feel like I'm slowly dying whilst also going mad!!! I'm a totally different person to my former self... I know we all have to get older but this added meno hell is just awful!!!
Hang in there girls! Love and best wishes to all.
AJ. xx
jan66332 AJacynM
Posted
you hit the nail on the head slowly dying while being a wild woman ... my friends at work are just starting to go through it so helps so much to talk about it with them .... just want to be me again
juanita93228 AJacynM
Posted
That's how I feel too! I've been off work over a month and scheduled to return tomorrow. The thought of it makes me sick. I feel like I wasted the month. I had big plans, yoga, eating healthy( I mostly do that anyway). Instead I spent a lot of days in bed crying. Some days I didn't even shower. That's not me!
When am I going to feel like myself again Lord?
AJacynM juanita93228
Posted
Oh gosh, I really feel for you as at the mo I don't work but I honestly feel that i couldn't cope with work either... I used to be so happy go lucky, the life and soul amongst my friends but now I dread going out and worry about any plans at all as i don't think i'll cope! Christmas has been a nightmare of palpatations, shortness of breath, anxiety etc just waking up and thinking about the day ahead!! I have youngish children who are active and I just feel i fail them daily and worry they'll grow up thinking their mom was a mess when really up until 3-4 years ago i felt great. My friends who are my age too seem to do so much and I do try but quietly get so upset as i can no longer keep up... I just feel pretty low and useless compared to others and no-one i know seems to feel as i do...
Sorry for moaning, I know you guys are going through it too and i really feel for you all as it really is a living hell. 😦
Love to all. xx
juanita93228 AJacynM
Posted
It's not moaning, you're just telling us how you feel. Honestly, I want to retire as my job is has become so stressful. But what about my bills and healthcare? I just feel like going in and resigning tomorrow.
To feel the way you do and have youngish children, now that is something. That's a 24/7 job. I don't have children.
I was like you, I laughed all the time, enjoyed the little things like watching a sappy Christmas movie. I feel like a shell of my former self.
Guest AJacynM
Edited
Hi AJ, Don't beat yourself up, I feel the same way. 41 with 2 active kids. Feel like I was abducted by aliens in July of 2017. I pick my son up from school and hide in the car...which is totally unlike me. I was absolutely fine before then, I had to stop working last year because of my laundry list of symptoms. I ran my own business. I feel useless sometimes too, but it is because us woman are used to being multi tasking machines. Well, even machines burnout. Please go easy on yourself... rest when you need to rest. Moan anytime, we all hear you!
Guest juanita93228
Posted
Hi Juanita...fingers and toes crossed for you tomorrow. ❤
juanita93228 Guest
Posted
Thank you Lou! 🤗This started for me late 2017, but I still had good days where I felt like myself. Then I had a bad breakup, the sale on my house fell through, and then we got a new Sergeant and the work was just too much for me. Imagine doing a job the same way for 12 years and then someone comes in and completely changes it where you are never finished and you have to go to homicide scenes now. I didn't sign up for that I'm 59. That's what crime scene is for. They're all under 30 except one and she's probably mid 30's.
Thank you for the laugh about being abducted by aliens!😂😂
One lady on one of the threads said she felt like she was in a fight for her life!
I told her not just your life your sanity too!
AJacynM jan66332
Posted
p.s. Juanita... I hope tomorrow goes ok for you at work... maybe your work colleagues will lift your spirits. Good luck. xxx
juanita93228 AJacynM
Posted
No, one of them doesn't speak to me any more. The other one is nice but is 39 and doesn't get it.
AJacynM jan66332
Posted
Lou & Juanita... you are both living carbon copies of me in so many ways... thank you for your kind words as it really means a lot to me. Just knowing I'm not alone feeling as i do!
There is so little support for women like us, it's like it's not seen as a real problem and it's 'just what women go through' and we should 'get on with life, it'll pass' - well, I'd love the medical professionals who say as much to live a week in my body at the mo as i think it'd make a difference!!
As you say, we shouldn't beat ourselves up i guess but god, i would just love the real me to return!!
Good luck to you both, hope the first week of 2019 is a good one.
xxxx
AJacynM jan66332
Posted
ps... chocolate helps!!! 😉
xxx
jan66332 AJacynM
Posted
yeah definatly always chocolate in our house
Finny2018 jan66332
Edited
Jan663322 - Happy New Year to you!
Happy New Year to ALL!
My peri-menopause nightmare kicked in for me in June of 2018. NIGHTMARE. I had so many symptoms (all of the symptoms you've listed and more!) - it seemed a new one would kick in every other day and I wondered if I was dying. How in the world can hormones do this? I had no idea. It wasn't just one all new symptom to be afraid of - it was a new symptom constantly...it wouldn't stop.
I was barely functioning from June through mid-October. I've had a major turn around since starting that wild yam cream in August. Once I started feeling better in October....I've been trying to "catch up" on living life. Everything was on hold for those months. I had almost every symptom on the 66 symptom list!!!
But as you say Jan663322 - I hope we all continue to have the strength to have a good year. I have come so far and want to encourage others to HANG ON! Just keep trying new things if possible - whatever you are able to try to feel better. BHRT? HRT? Anti-depressant? Supplements? Don't give up! If this wild yam doesn't continue giving me benefits, I am open to other things. This forum was the greatest gift to me! The women here helped lift me out of my pit and keep going. No amount of eating right and going for a walk was going to cure my hormonal plummet.
We have all been through so much. I'm not the same person. I am so thankful each day that I am doing better.
Here's to all of us helping and encouraging one another in 2019!
jan66332 Finny2018
Posted
finny so glad you have found something that you and the more it helps the more positive you will become ....maybe the yam cream is something i should look into .... im trying my hardest to be more positive its like a battle my mind against my body have to say my body is winning with all these symptoms but im going to keep trying ive not had a period for 14 months im 55 so just keep thinking and hoping i will soon start feeling a bit better ..... hope you contine to feel good finny x
Guest Finny2018
Posted
there you are Finny! Missed ya', So happy to hear you are better! How is your fatigue? I think I remember you were a chronic tired girl too! 😃
Finny2018 jan66332
Posted
Jan66332 - thanks so much! I'm grateful to report that I'm having more better days now each month than bad. From June to October I remember a LOT of bad days - a LOT. I don't know how many times I shared that I felt like I was recovering from the emotional shock/trauma of the onset of it all.
The truth is - many of us will face tough things - diagnoses etc. Maybe that's why all of this was so hard for me? I have had a very blessed health life for the most part up until the age of 50 (yes of course some health bumps in the road throughout life, hospital stays, surgeries, etc - but NOTHING can come close to the onset of TONS of peri symptoms when I missed my first period in July).
Lately I've been thinking of a song sung by Tim McGraw - Live like you were Dying. Wow - have those lyrics hit close to home for me this year. I truly thought there is no way this could be menopause? Well - many appointments, screens, emergency room visits etc - yep. My hormone results and all of those symptoms on the list confirmed my status. Sometimes I tell myself to try and forget about the nightmare summer - to just "move on".
But the truth is - the pain and fear and suffering that I have gone through have made me appreciate the good minutes. The good hours. The good days. It's been quite a roller coaster. It's so true what you say - the battle is in our mind, Jan - a mind that is barraged with hormones that we can't control. Thankful for this forum so that we can all share and encourage one another during this time!
Finny2018 jan66332
Posted
Jan663332 -my message cut off and it got to be a long one. Bummer. Take care!!!
Finny2018 Guest
Posted
Lou! Great to hear from you. Missed ya, too! I've been trying to catch up on the posts here to see how you've been doing!!
Yes - the fatigue was a big problem - that and everything else. I've been trying to do so much in the last couple of months - too much. How is it that at aged 50 I still can't self pace? I was down physically for so long that life seemed to fall apart around me and I've been trying to "catch up". I've had a lot of better days and unfortunately the fear of more meno stuff has me trying to do it ALL (while I feel good). I'm trying to do everything - get in as many good times with my family as I can. Rather than learning to take it one day at a time, I'm trying to cram in all that I "missed" in those many months of the onset. I know this is NOT good. Being here on this forum is good. I am hopeful you are seeing some more better days?
shelley85069 Finny2018
Posted
I know this is an older post but wondering if you are still having luck with the yam cream? I havent heard of it until this post, in desperate need of some perimeno relief! Hoping you are better now!