Mirtazapine making me worse. Fried brains feeling.

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I'm quitting Mirtazapine 45mg.  I've decided to suddenly stop (not recommended) . I'm aware that you can always feel worse than you can imagine despite saying ' I couldn't feel any worse' if that makes sense. mentally ill is bad, mentally ill and chemically ill may prove fatal.? Confused and scared to be honest.The NHS has failed me big time. 'professionals' have forgotton appointments, compounded my misery and left me feeling more desperate and isolated. My mental health has spiralled downhill to the point that I'm considering sending my Victorian father and mini-him sister a letter from my GP listing my past six months med records. I just wouldn't cope at my sisters wedding . My sister and father are in denial,ignorant (bliss)or just mentally lucky. My father's auto reply to any news of my physical or mental illnesses has always been ;' Probably drugs'  but would be devastated to read my problems( he's been paralised in hospital for nine months with an auto immune condition called CIDP) but will be furious if I don't attend .I'm having panic attacks when I'm going up to London to see him and just can't face it now. How do I solve this dilemma? They look down their noses at me at the best of times.  If you had asked me last year, 'Glyn,would you like to go into a mental home for a week,I would have said no way . Now I would say yes please.That even shocks me to write/read that. I'd love to be with like minded ,mentally ill people to at least relate to and ,to be honest,compare myself to. After pleading for help for a year I was finally offered group therapy in a place I can't get to. The closest I got to telling someone my problems was a face to face Personal Independence Payment assesment last week,no advice or feedback,just them trying to trip me up and find a reason to axe my benefits. I've gone from being a heavy cannabis self medicator to just one before bed. No side effects,drowsiness etc. I sleep like a baby but have had to stop the recreational abuse of it to give myself a chance to improve my MH. I've lost all confidence in the broken NHS,primary,secondary care teams,GPs and I'm going to go swimming every day ,use not abuse cannabis ( in my medicine cabinet not on my coffee table now) and improve my diet . I have B12 injections for pernicious anaemia through neglecting my dietry requirements and now eat lots of fruit and veg,less sugar and salt and hope I'll start absorbing vitamins and folic acid naturally. 

Crikey , nobody said it was easy. Anyone have any advice or help to get my life back please let me know. I'm not sure my Mirtazapine,Lofepramine and Diazepam meds are the way forward.

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  • Posted

    I'm currently readind a book called,"If God is Good:Faith in the Midst of Suffering and Evil."by Randy Alcorn.I'm find it to be both helpful and God intended,timely.God Bless You,Bob

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  • Posted

    I feel like you - mirtazapine, lofepramine and diazepam just to get through day.

    have dropped lofepramine.

    how to get better without these drugs is my quest.   Need my life back too.

    wondering if i need B12 and folic acid might help?

    do you get very frightening nightmares every morning, i wonder if its the mirtazapine?  Or maybe just me.

    some days just so depressed about it all not working.

    any ofmthis resonate with you.

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    • Posted

      I'm getting vivid dreams/nightmares in the pre waking moments ,although they feel epically long.  I may keep the Diazepam despite the dependancy issues just to break my thought patterns when I'm having a crisis. You should have a blood test.If you don't ask...

      I'm sure GPs are almost giving us what we want rather than what we need. I wonder if Lofep mixed with Mirt is messing with our brains. This is my first week off Lofep. I've never been convinced by the Holistic approach but ,through desperation I'm going to try doing excersise,probably swimming and CBT therapy. Tackling my issues head on and putting myself in 'threatening' situations to try to awaken defense mechanisms naturally. Going to be tough and could go either way. Yoga? meditation...Got to try something different. Best wishes.Glyn

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    • Posted

      Hi Glyn I have also been having very vivid dreams no nightmares up to now only on 15mg mirtazapine. Was also on citalopram (tapered off after 2 weeks) after 2 days started to get up in morning with pounding headache and feeling rough- quite low no motivation so went back on just 10mg citalopram feeling a bit better.

      Talking of hostilics I have been having reiki and was so impressed I trained myself and am now a practitioner. Worth a try if you can find someone in your area who practices in it.

      Take care glyn

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    • Posted

      When you have the vivid nightmares how do you manage to feel ok at wakening. I feel awful, they go but i am left depressed by them as they are usually about my old life with friends and doing all the things i cant now.  I am not having success with cbt or anxiety audios.  I feel terrible all the time and everything makes me frightened, even a trip to shops.  How do i get better
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    • Posted

      Hi Ann, I feel for you. I don't get anxoius going to the store, but get anxoius once my hubby leaves for work. I decided lately to sing out loud. It's a song we sing at my church. I know I should have no reason to be anxoius, but the feelings are so overwhelming. Speaking out loud to myself is helping a bit too. I tell myself; you are just fine, even if you feel lonely, you never truly alone. I hope you feel better soon Ann, hugs to you. Oh one more thing, I have gotten nightmares too on mirtazapine, but soonest I wake up I remind myself, it was only a bad dream.

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