Mirtazapine - The Happy/Sad Situation
Posted , 9 users are following.
Hi,
I have been taking Mirtazapine on and off for about the last 8 months.
Thought it was time to share my pesronal experience with people.
Mirtazapine is no miracle drug but for me it does work.
I had been very ill last year suffering Panic, Anxeity & Depression. I had been on Seroxat, Diazepam & Prozac and all seemed to have terrible side effects with me. The Doctor eventaully gave me Mirtazapine and the started to work straight away. The initial problems I had were the usual:
1. Increased sleep & tiredness - This helped as I would lie awake most days & nights BUT the mirtazapine is so strong at first that it knocks you for six. I was like a zombie for about the first 2 weeks. Also some very wierd dreams, some dreams amazing some really bad nightmares.
2. Increased appetite - At first this was good for me because I was getting dangeroulsy thin as I could not face food. When the Mirtazapine kicked in I ate like a horse, was constantly hungry and especailly craved sweet things.
After a while the drugs got into my system and these effects lessened.
The reason I write this post is that my mental illnes has always been a really bad stigma for me to talk about.
I found it very difficult to talk to Family & Friends about my illness as I had no reason to be ill
When this happened I was 30yrs old (Now 34) I was an Amatuer boxer, Trained 5 nights and swam every weekend. I didn't drink or smoke and eat a very healthy diet. So it proves the fact that this can happen to anybody.
Because I was boxing training at the time I would consider myself as super-fit so I kept asking - Why Me ?
I tried to pretend to people that I was not ill and constantly covered it up with some very lame excuses. I was a 12st Boxer who was supposedly a hard strong person (Body & Mind) who behind closed doors I was now reduced to a tearfull crumbling wreck.
I have tried to be brutaully honest here as things for me have got better but as with any new drug you try; it is a matter of trial & error.
I worked for me BUT might not work for you
I would also like to dismiss a few commom myths that over the years I have come up against.
[b:d89ea92a86]
These are my opions only[/b:d89ea92a86]
1. Excersice - It trully does help me BUT when you are suffering it can be the hardest thing to get up and make the effort. Try a little 5-10min walk per day and you should feel the benefits
2. Alcohol - I now have the occasional Beer or Glass of wine and I feel that it helps as long as you are eating correctly- Do not substitute Alcohol for food EVER ! - Everything in moderation. When I have a drink I have MAX 1 Bottle Beer or 1 Small Glass Wine always with a meal NEVER on its own for the sake of it.
3. Try to talk to friends & family and you will be surprised how much support you actually get. I was so scared to tell anybody but eventually I did and know at least people can understand what I've been through. I sat down with my family and friends and fully explained my situation and now they don'y make those annoying comments like \"Snap out of it\" or \"You'll feel better tomorrow\" Until these people have walked a mile in your shoes they can not even begin to understand just how we feel. Now I get great comments from family & friends. Even just a small \"How are feeling today ?\" helps a lot - Explain you need positive comments not annoying quirks
The downside with Mirtazapine is that I have put on weight. So What ! I'm Happy.
I'm now back at work and when this lousy weather gets better I'm going to start training again. Things are looking up.
I would like to thank everybody in the forum for there comments over the last 6-10 months, I have only ever looked in from the outside but know I have brought myself to post my experience.
I hope this helps people out there
And Remeber - You Are Not Alone
Craig
x
0 likes, 23 replies
megapolitico
Posted
If everything else in my life was normal I would be just about OK but 13 year old daughter has nad horrendous couple of days and says such aw3ful things to me Shes like the voices in my head.I know shes distressed but she causes so much stress I dread her coming home from school because Im afraid of what shell be like.
I have been trying to walk as I cant manage the gym,but sadly today only as far as macdonalds for a milkshake I promptly threw up again as per.Am much more tearful so maybe emotions are coming back,still feel empty,but on lots of drugs and so thats no suprise.home intervention team handing me over to next stage team in a week or so,am scared
Jo
Craigyb1973
Posted
You say you have no emotios but remeber being scared & crying are showing your emotions.
I cry and also feel scared sometimes and I enjoy them as they are human traits that we all have.
Don't try to analyze things to much
You are what you are
I once read a passage that helped me:
[i:80e0dfa620]The elephant does not want to be an eagle and the eagle does not want to be an elephant.
They have accepted who and what they are as they don't know different.
In fact they have not even accepted who or what they are as they don't know any different.
An elephant is used to being large, clumsy, roaming the earth looking for food.
An eagle is used to being small, light and will soar high looking for food.
They have both accepted without knowing it that they are what they are.
How obsurd would it be if an Eagle wanted to land on the ground and hunt for food and how obsurd would it be if a Elephant want to soar into the sky swooping down on food below.[/i:80e0dfa620]
Its only a small passage but by wishing you were normal. You have to ask \"What is normal ?\"
I read your posts and feel so much for you as you want to be normal. Normal is a as normal as you want it be.
You have amazing traits that make you unique and you should never wish to change them.
Infact you could even take it to the level that you don't confirm with the average person therefore it makes you more unique.
In the modern soceity we live in so many people are trying to be different which makes you very unique.
Live with the fact you are amazing , an individual who is going through a hard time but has a unique trait.
You don't want to be a Elephant or a Eagle you are just happy being you
We and your family all care for you so much
If it wasn't for you I wouldn't have joined this forum so you are actually helping people with your own individual & unique traites.[/i]
Stiofain
Posted
Dear Craig,
Many thanks for your experience, I was moved but also motivated by the frankness you have exhibited.
I too have suffered depression for many years. At the age of seven I was diagnosed with severe migraine, a monster that has followed me all my life. Today, I am on incapacity (at my Consultant's (Neurological) request). In the past I had high-power jobs in I.T. Banking, now I am the house-husband.
My first wife died tragically 10 years ago this coming February. She Committed suicide. We still miss her very much and struggle to pass through anniversaries each year. I have two daughters; one is married with her own family, the other is a Doctor and I'm proud of the way they have kept going despite our shared grief.
My wife's death had the effect of sending me into deep depression and the migraine attacks to become horrendous, over 20 a month is not uncommon. Mirtazapine has begun to help me, yesterday it ws increased to 30mg a day. I cannot have my wife back, cannot re-write what has passed, but still find it a great difficulty to live with.
I have re-married and again have a fine wife, she's a tower of strength when I get really down. In two weeks time we are going to Jamaica where she will spend 3 weeks and I will spend 7. It's good to have family there who welcome us always. I was particularly interested to hear you are returning to exercising, this I intend too. I am hoping to get in plenty of swimming but also to return to running and jogging like I used to.
Having something to look forward and support from friends and family has always helped me through the bad patches, my faith in human nature has been bolstered often by unexpected kindnesses. I feel for Jo in her experience too. There is a limitation to what the Health Services can do for us, although I do wish they had a magic wand. Forums like this I hope can help us encourage one another, particularly when we are down. Unfortunately, that's when I won't put finger to key-board.
I've set myself some goals for Jamaica:
To be walking 3 miles a day and running 2 by the time I come home.
To be swimming half a mile.
To have sorted my diet by removing most caffeine and rarely drinking alcohol (doesn't mix with migraine anyway).
To have restricted TV to 30 mins per day.
To have got back to 15mgs Mirtazapine (I know I have to be careful here)
To have reduced my Migraine attacks significantly.
'Pie in the sky', maybe. But I am going to give it my best shot!
All the best to you all,
Keep writing,
Stiofain
Craigyb1973
Posted
Good luck my friend
Your goals are a great thing to have even if you don't manage them all in a day remember 1 thing:
[b:377fc6cfea][i:377fc6cfea]A LITTLE BIT OF SOMETING IS BETTER THAN BIG BIT OF NOTHING[/i:377fc6cfea][/b:377fc6cfea]
megapolitico
Posted
Still on mirtazapine 45 olanzapine 10 and diazepam 15mg a a day,think maybe raised dose of mirtazapine may be starting to work but only because I feel anxious so oddly must be returning to the land of the functioning as I was always anxious.
Today the home intervention team come again,they will stop soon,that isnt like a step forward as am scared.
Keep writing it really helps!
JO x : :?
megapolitico
Posted
Craigyb1973
Posted
No worries
We will always be here for you
I hope you feel better and you know that you are not alone.
Hopefully will have a good day today and remeber that you are unique and amazing. You do things that we all do everyday BUT you also do unique things.
I'm sure when you feel better that your daughter will understand just how ill you are. A 13yr has a lot running through her mind and I'm sure she doesn't realise what she is doing. She does not hate you or dislike you it's just the way all teenagers react . There will always be goods times & bad times. Life is like a book and soon this chapter will end and another will open.
[i:92d7b4b686][b:92d7b4b686]It's so easy to laugh,It's so easy to hate
It takes guts to be gentle and kind[/b:92d7b4b686][/i:92d7b4b686]
CraigyB
xx
megapolitico
Posted
its actually good not to feel nothing even if its scary
Voices are really quiet now and even suicidal ones onlt there when I feel really bad
no more cutting of legs
can express feelings
OK so I cant eat more than a bowl of cereal withut having to throw up everything else for the rest of the day and the future,or thinking about it still fills me with waves of fear and despair,but if I take it hour by hour I can keep going.I can recognise the thoughts in my head as being mine too,even if they are negative ,so things must be getting better even if Im uncertain about so many things
JO x :wink:
Guest
Posted
megapolitico
Posted
I want to feel reasonably content thats all,not anxious,agitated and generally full of woe!
Everyone else seems to be getting better and I am banging on the light bulb like a moth,just getting nowhere.I tell myself this is too much,I have to try to be positive but I have no friends I can talk to,I am scared of my 13 year old because her temper tanrums are too much on top of everything else,this is ot the life I want
Jo
megapolitico
Posted
Still would press the old suicide button if it existed,this is a miserable existance and i wish I wasnthere
Jo x
megapolitico
Posted
charlies_girl
Posted
furious_angel
Posted
Im a 23 year old girl who last november was placed on cipralex after years of hidden depression. After many side effects ruining my days i have been moved to zispin, and my first dose is this evening. Im terrified.
However reading your posts craig has given me some strength.
Jo, its clear that you have alot going on in your head, not everything works for multiple people but i had alot of trouble expressing my feelings and my partner bought me a gorgeous book to start a diary. On a daily basis at any time of the day i write down my thoughts, feelings and activities of the day. I keep a log of time and dates so i can look back and see my progression, if there is any.
It doesnt matter what time you make an entry, some of mine are noon, some are 2am. After a while i started to let my partner read my entrys so he could try and understand and fully appreciate what was going on in my head.
As your daughter is only 13 i cant see her understanding what is happening to you completely, and she's probably somewhat scared that your ill in a way she cant see or help. However if you allowed her to read some of what you go through in a day she may understand her actions and how they are making you feel. 13 year olds notice more than we give them credit for.
Ive found that paper has been my best listener. And i havent felt shy, awkward or scared at putting my thoughts down on it as paper doesnt judge. It just listens. It cant help to try?
x
Guest
Posted