Missing my old life
Posted , 19 users are following.
Does anyone else just sit in this constant sickened state and miss their old life? I do this really badly all the time. I just cried and cried earlier cause all i could think about was 10 years ago when i never had any sickness, extreme fatigue, headaches, aching joints, sadness or anxiety.....i had a life to live. I could make appointments, go shopping, eat food, i looked healthy....now everyone looks at me like im an anorexic with depression. I hate this life now, i hate waking up every day cause its the same crap, i wake up tired, very nauseous, dizzy/lightheaded, my gut rolls and gurgles no matter how clean i try to eat, and i feel so trapped by this perimenopausal sickness! Major depression is nothing compared to this (i did have a depression period in my 20s it was nowhere near this debilitating) hell you take a pill with depression and for me it helped. I tried to take a pill with this perimenopause it never even put a dent in the hell i feel! i look at old pics of myself smiling and looking healthy....now i avoid having my pic taken. im sorry i just needed to vent, this is a never ending hell!!
7 likes, 31 replies
sara97862 Guest
Posted
Hi Brandy,
I do find myself missing the real me, yes. You are not alone in this.
I still believe the real me (and the real you) are in there somewhere, just screaming to get out. Otherwise we wouldn't be missing who we were.
Crying with you, honey. If I find something, anything, that helps even a little, I will let you know straight away.
I was just thinking earlier, how cruel that, if we were trying to conceive a child and hormones were the problem, doctors would be lining up to do blood tests and give us whatever we need in order to allow us to become Moms, and follow us through the whole journey, adjusting things as needed.
But, now that role is done and we're either raising the child or empty nesting, we apparently don't deserve the same care.
I mean, obviously it can be done, right? We do it to allow women to become pregnant all the time. With great success.
It makes me so angry.
Crying with you and praying for you. Holding you in my heart until we can get through this horror.
Sara
Guest sara97862
Posted
Hi Sara.... the drs make a ton of money off helping us become mothers is why they are so willing to help, then when something like this happens to us there really isnt any money in it fir them so they dont care to help. I have yet to meet a dr who actually says "oh yes menopause is hell amd it doesnt matter if you are in your 30s the symptoms can hit like a ton if bricks and ruin your life!" All i get is well we can run tons of expensive tests on you, 41 is really too you g to be starting peri and oh yeah the symptoms you describe arent even menopause related. The worse part is i had 2 female drs say that to me. But if you do hear of anything that may help im all ears. Ive tried antidepressants, vitamins, those seasick wristbands, eating completely organic, cut out milk & dairy for a month, exercise, counseling, probiotics, progesterone creams.....nothing works except phenergan to take away the nausea but it doesnt help the other garbage
Jaynie12 Guest
Posted
omg. i had 2 female doctors tell me the same ..one if them didnt even sit down she says oh ur not in menapause that ended when ur period stopped sorry i cant give u a quick fix and left. the 2nd female prescribes gabepentin. really??? my nerves are just fine its the rest of me...what is wrong with these people?? with all todays technology. and more and more women speaking up about the hell we are going through why are drs so flipping afraid to help us??? my friend fpund one dr and said the problem is low hormones so put her on the pill it helped. i cant take it but maybe for some might be as simple as that. telling ur body its pregnant. god bless u ladies. im with u .
Guest Jaynie12
Posted
I know right! Drs can be soooo cruel, i mean dont they even care how sick amd scared we are cause it just wont go away and nothing makes anything better. If i get one more antidepressant thrown at me i think i will scream!! i thought about taking the pill too but i did alot of research on it, reading reviews of woman who have tried it and just like antidepressants they may help for awhile but then your body bypasses it and realizes something foreign is interferring with the hormones making our lives hell so the body overrides the pills and then your back at square one possibly feeling even worse since more hormones were added to the mix. So im just sitting back, biding my time and praying my body will decide it wants to give up the hormone roller coaster and let me feel "ok" again.
Lkl2019 Jaynie12
Posted
I also had female Dr. who kept giving me anti-depressants & eventually gave me Nortriptalin, so heavy nerve drug - and neurologist that gave me Gabapentin - all of it was so scary! & Crazy! One Dr. told me as long as you have a period, you have hormones. And didn't think there was any way all my issues could be hormone related. I tried the birth control in the beginning years & it helped but then it didn't help so much anymore, so I stopped taking it.
sara97862 Lkl2019
Posted
Hi Lkl,
My GP said the same... didn't ask me how my periods were (short, long, heavy, light), or about any other symptoms... just "if you have periods, you have hormones".
That's like saying "if you're breathing, you're fine".
Well guess what... I am not fine.
The pill did help me at first too. Then it made my digestion really bad, so I stopped it.
Tried the patch for a few days, and because of other issues going on at the time, didn't have the fortitude to let it adjust.
I hope to try again in a few weeks. because I just cannot live like this.
sara97862 Guest
Posted
I don't get why more doctors don't do blood testing (along with symptoms) to try to assign the right pill...
people with diabetes test their blood multiple times a day with a finger prick. I do not get AT ALL why that is (seemingly) not possible for other substances in the blood and tissues besides glucose.
instead it's "try pill A for 3 months. If that doesn't work, we'll try pill B. If that doesn't work, we'll try pill C"
That's a whole year of your life in various levels of hormonal hell, with no objective measure of whether each pill should be a good fit or not.
If you don't go flippin crazy first.
jane66356 Guest
Posted
Brandy,
No apology needed to vent 😃 I feel the same way...I'm still in peri for 7 1/2 years, I'll be 53 soon and still having periods along with all the stuff you mentioned. I'm sooooooooo sick of this. I used to have energy, do a lot of stuff, be happy, fit, you name it....this has been hell. I hope it gets better once I reach menopause. I get mixed messages from folks about what life is like after meno...some say it's better, some say it isn't.I used to be able to sleep well..now i have to "wind down" for an hour before bed, use a sleep mask, white noise, lavender, can't let the cat sleep in the room with me. Nothing is fun anymore. You are not alone in your agony! 😦
Guest jane66356
Posted
I am so glad i didnt come across as a loony lol i am just having one of those days, its like day 4 in a row of feeling like i have constant morning sickness and can barely eat! I am so sick of this as im sure all you ladies are! I have gotten the same mix of some saying its gotten better but most say they see no difference. I must dont how much longer i can put up with it and the fake smiles for everyone so they think im having a "good" day. I have some insomnia days but most of the time im so tired and just want to sleep! i dont know about you but i feel like an 80 year old who gets periods still sometimes every other month or this last time it was 6 months!
jane66356 Guest
Posted
Ditto on feeling like an 80 year old! 😉 as the matter a fact, my mother just turned 80 and I think I'm about on par with her. I have just about as much energy or vice versa. My 58 year old husband can run circles around me. I'm trying not to give up hope that this will be better one day.
dora_39625 Guest
Posted
yes!! all the time! the struggle is very real...
It's overwhelmingly debilitating and tiring..
I keep telling myself that things can only get better, but every year a new symptom rears it's ugly head or an existing one is even worse if that's even at all possible..
Just know that you're not alone and others are also struggling and fighting the same battle...
Guest dora_39625
Posted
Your telling me about the new symptom popping up or an existing one getting worse. Im thinking enough already i call uncle, perimenopause you win! But it just keeps coming doesnt it. Thank you for the support i hate all you ladies are suffering like i am but it also helps to know that im not alone in this.
jo67532 Guest
Posted
Vent away Brandy! You are not alone! I find myself feeling the same way. I feel like I am just going through motions some days, but I try to take notice when I
,m having a good day or even a few good hours in a day. I'm hopeful that my old happy self is still with me, but is just in hiding while all this Peri is taking over. I'm also going through other life changes like empty nesting with my older kids moving out of state and my youngest leaving for college in a few days. Perimenopause is no party, but I figure if I could make it through the teenage hormones, I can get through this! Hang in there! hugs to you
Guest jo67532
Posted
My youngest son is turning 14 next year and i find myself getting very sad that he will be moving out soon, my two other sons are already moved out and living their lives. I know they worry about me and i hate that more than anything. I have maybe one decent day every two weeks where i can eat normally and feel like my old self, but when the yuck comes back thats when i lose it and start crying cause i just want this to go away already so i can feel alive again. Its been 8 years total, but the past 3-4 years have been the worse and my periods are now very far out so im praying they will be stopping soon altogether
susane84679 Guest
Posted
I think we all feel like this but I have convinced myself I will be better then my old self..we must have dreams lol. I don't make plans anymore either because I never know how I will feel from day to day. hang in there and know you have us by your side. never apologize for how you feel, especially when you are venting to the sisterhood! hoping you have more good days then bad. sending hugs 💛💛💛
Guest susane84679
Posted
Thanks for the hugs! Yep thats me too, i no longer set appts cause i never know how i will feel and where i live 25 mins from any town chances are i wont make it to my appts. Im very thankful to have found this website!