Mom, Lung Cancer and COPD

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My mother 70 has COPD, she was diagnosed years ago.  Last October 2016 she was also diagnosed with Lung Cancer, In December we found out it had spread to lymph nodes.  She was not eligible for any treatment.  The Oncologist estimated 6 Months.  In July she was in hospital and they estimated 2-4 days.  It is now November and she is still here.  She is in a Long Term Care home.  She is also a CO2 retainer.  She is now delusional, hallucinating, confused, lost her memory.  Her breathing has become worse, very wheezy, she is in pain all the time.  Eats very little.  Has been bedridden for 6 months.  Lost most of her eyesight.  What I am afraid of is how will I know when the end is close?  Its been such a rollercoaster, up, down, up again.  The nurses at the home are not helpful, not knowledgable.  She has told me a few times she will be gone by the next morning, and looks terrible, looks believable and then she is perked up the next day.  She is confused so she doesnt realize the stress this is.  Now her legs are darker and bruising, she is coughing more.  She has stressed she wants me there when she passes, I am afraid the nurses do not pay enough attention and would not know if the end is close.  She has been so bad for so long and suffered so much but it just goes on and on.  I have a family and a job, I cannot be with her all the time for months.  Confused, stressed and sad.

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    Hi my heart breaks for you. My husband has severe copd, prostrate cancer, permanent catheter, harmopheliac, just had triple bypass five weeks ago , unable to walk, or do anything for himself, sleeps 90 perc of the day, hardly eats, lost so much weight is just a skeleton, on permanent oxygen etc etc. I also want to know how long, as my nerves are shot. But no one will commit to a timeframe. Taken off all meds except oxygen and nebuliser???? Problem is I get no break 24 hours a day. He wants to see me all the time or stresses. Bottom line sorry for waffeling, just want to know how long.????????

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    • Posted

      Hi I am so sorry to read this.I too am going through a bad time,as my Hubby also has cancer of Prostate,Bowel & secondary Lung cancer. he's on HRT to hopefully shrink the tumour in the prostrate, & steroids to help breathing. Also he has chronic on going Osteoarthritis of hips knees, deaf & severely sighted in both eyes. I am his full time carer. I too have osteoarthritis of hips & knees. & chronic Anxiety. But we now have carers coming in twice a day to help with dressing him. I feel utterly exhausted & wish I could have some one here to allow me to rest.We have no children,so sometimes other members of the Family will help.I have to remain positive as possible & keep busy as possible. Regards Amanda

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