Mom, Lung Cancer and COPD

My mother 70 has COPD, she was diagnosed years ago.  Last October 2016 she was also diagnosed with Lung Cancer, In December we found out it had spread to lymph nodes.  She was not eligible for any treatment.  The Oncologist estimated 6 Months.  In July she was in hospital and they estimated 2-4 days.  It is now November and she is still here.  She is in a Long Term Care home.  She is also a CO2 retainer.  She is now delusional, hallucinating, confused, lost her memory.  Her breathing has become worse, very wheezy, she is in pain all the time.  Eats very little.  Has been bedridden for 6 months.  Lost most of her eyesight.  What I am afraid of is how will I know when the end is close?  Its been such a rollercoaster, up, down, up again.  The nurses at the home are not helpful, not knowledgable.  She has told me a few times she will be gone by the next morning, and looks terrible, looks believable and then she is perked up the next day.  She is confused so she doesnt realize the stress this is.  Now her legs are darker and bruising, she is coughing more.  She has stressed she wants me there when she passes, I am afraid the nurses do not pay enough attention and would not know if the end is close.  She has been so bad for so long and suffered so much but it just goes on and on.  I have a family and a job, I cannot be with her all the time for months.  Confused, stressed and sad.

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