Morphine made me happy

Posted , 6 users are following.

I suffer from depression and anxiety. This guy offered me a bottle of morphine for £10. It sounded good because I hate alcohol.

I took a mouthful and immediately felt calm and the depression went and the anxiety. I felt happy and began cleaning my flat enjoying the floating feeling.

I used to buy it every week but then decided that it was not the answer because the guy was ill and on a load of tablets (Zomorph 60mls twice a day) and I weaned myself off them.

It is not easy but it can be done. If you feel you are going to use for recreation then distract yourself like coming onto this site and reading other people's stories.

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16 Replies

  • Posted

    You said just what I needed to hear today. I'm going to see my pain management doctor today to ask for help with weaning myself off of morphine. It does awful things to the body, and I wish I had known that years ago when I was first put on it. 

    What at helped you get through the process? And did you get depressed and anxious?

    any help would be appreciated.

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    • Posted

      Hello Foxyloxy

      I didn't know I had replies to this and have just seen it.

      I was touched that you wrote 'just what I needed to hear today'.

      I cut down and saw my doctor for anxiety. He has given me Diazepam and Pregabalin. I took them last night and was mellow all evening.

      I would of been depressed and anxious without those pills.

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  • Posted

    True. What you said about getting morphine from others is not only illegal but dangerous for you. If you are depressed and unhappy there are other things you can do. Especially if you have insurance. For my severe anxiety, agoraphobia (not wanting to leave my home), tightness in shoulders, and teeth grinding, premenstrual dysphoric disorder, and the fact that I have money problems and a 16 year old mini schnauzer that i might have to put down soon my primary care doc prescribed me Diazepam. She also gave me a card of a Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner. If your anxiety and mood problems persist I suggest you see a Nurse Practitioner. The reason why is because Psychologists cannot prescribe and the problem I had with a Psychiatrist I went to see is that he was basically really arrogant and made me feel very upset. He wanted to put me on Abilify. In the past I have not had good experiences with those types of drugs. They tried everything from Cymbalta, Celexa, Prozac, Elavil, Buspar, Zoloft, Effexor, Paxil, Seroquel XR. What happened to me? I was abused severely as a child and then my ex bf almost killed me. I had to move out and was extremely depressed and even felt suicidal. Cymbalta worked well for my pain and mental but made me sick to my stomach. Celexa made me want to sleep all day. Elavil made me sick to my stomach. Buspar - sleep all day. Zoloft - Nothing, Effexor - Almost gave me a seizure. I had to go to the ER for Ativan to get off of it. Only took it for one week. Effexor is a dangerous drug and though it helps people I hear it is very hard to get off of. Paxil - nothing. Seroquel XR worked well for sleep and tension/ anxiety but after 1 year my legs and arms started twitching involuntarily and I had to get off of it. So basically I was a human lab rat. I would be very careful because the docs just hand them out like candy. You are depressed? Here take this. I'm glad I am still intact mentally. This is kind of off subject but my doctor suggested a NP that is on my insurance plan and since they now found out I am bipolar I am willing to try either Abilify or Lexapro along with Clonazepam. Clonazepam worked great for my anxiety. So if you can find a Nurse Practitioner that would be the route to go. I hope this helps. Exercise helps to. I do yoga, stretching and ride my bike. I also take Lyrica and Depakote. The Depakote is not doing much for the depression/manic episodes so I need to try something else like Lamictal. Actually I hear for my episodes Lamictal and Clonazepam are the perfect combo. 

    I hope you find out what is wrong with you. Maybe you were just using the drug recreationally? 

    As far as weaning off of drugs. I always will say Diazepam/Valium works well and then Trazadone for sleep along with vitamins, a healthy diet and exercise! 

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    • Posted

      Hi Debra

      Yes, the doctor has given me diazepam and pregabalin and it staibilizes me.

      I'm sorry about your rubbish childhood and that guy. But the problem is him, not you. You did nothing wrong.

      I worked for a psycopath for 3 months and he was ok with me but was constantly getting arrested.

      One incident was in the papers. He had made a woman sobbing and terrified.

      But he only has 1 friend who has stuck by him. So what does that tell you? He is the one with the problem.

      How are you feeling now and are you weaning yourself off the morphine?

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  • Posted

    Foxyloxy are you in the u.s? Diazepam is highly additive and would be just as detrimental to the body and as hard to come off as any opiate like morphine. A UK doctor would not prescribe it for depression and would be very reluctant to prescribe it for anxiety. And even then most likely only in the short term.

    Louisaluvsrio how is your anxiety and depression now? Had you tried treating it with standard treatments such as ssri's (fluoxetine,citalopram etc) snri's (venlafaxine etc) or even a NaSSA mertazipine?

    FYI if you don't like alcohol I doubt your like benzodiazepines like diazepam.

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    • Posted

      Hi tony

      I have diazepam and pregabalin for my nerves.

      Had a bad episode last weekend and my friend did my shopping. I stayed in for 3 days scared to go out. 

      BUT I had a good day yesterday. If we tell ourselves, this fear will not last. However, it's easier said than done with nerves.

      How are you doing?

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  • Posted

    Yes, I live in the U.S., and I don't want anything like Valium. I was just wondering if there were other ways to cope with the intense anxiety that happens during the withdrawal process. I have found some alternatives online such as valerian root and deep breathing techniques. The last thing I need is another drug to come off of!
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    • Posted

      Just for the record - Lofexidine saved me from the perils of withdrawal. It's not addictive and you only take it for the withdrawal period. I did tapering for 3 months and was going mental with the repeated bouts of withdrawal, then I discovered Lofexidine at the local drugs centre - 3 weeks and clean without the torture, awesome ... That was 5 months ago.

      I was offered Methadone but didn't want more evil nasties. No idea why Lofexidine isn't used more widely as it's brilliant.

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    • Posted

      I know people on methadone. BUT they seem to be on it for 1 or 2 years. 

      You were brave refusing because I know I wouldn't of.

       l live in the UK so the brand names are different.

      Is Lofexidine a tranquillizer?

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    • Posted

      Honestly! I don't believe in herbal remedies.

      A lady used to come in the shop where I worked. She had severe anxiety and was always buying herbal remedies.

      I felt that she should be on medication from the doctor.

      She is so sweet. I gave her a hug and told her when she is anxious remember that I am also anxious and we both have to be strong.

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    • Posted

      I'm in the UK too. Lofexidine isn't a tranquilliser, Wikipedia says "lofexidine is given to relieve the symptoms associated with the withdrawal including chills, sweating, stomach cramps, muscle pain, and runny nose.

      Lofexidine inhibits the release of norepinephrine in the central and peripheral nervous system, thereby reducing some of the withdrawal symptoms, but it has no documented effect on drug craving and endogenous opioid levels."

      And for me "reducing" symptoms pretty much removed them all - I was just tired and lazy for 3 weeks.

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  • Posted


    There is an alternative for you. Its called meditation. Jody Whitely is on You Tube. She has very nice meditation videos for depression, anxiety, anxiety, depression and self confidence. My favorite is the one for Anxiety, depression and Anxiety. In the videos she has a soft voice and helps you to breathe correctly, control your racing thoughts, stay in the moment, create vivid pictures of good times in your life and reassures you that this is just a moment and it will pass. I do the videos twice per day right now. That's how bad my problem is. She also helps you relax your facial muscles, shoulders, arms, stomach, legs, and feet. I usually fall asleep about 30 to 40 minutes. They are nice. There is a cute cat sleeping and relaxing while she talks in one video and then there is a nice one with blue floating clouds. She has many many more too. If you can take care of your anxiety without medication that would be great. Try lavender oil on your skin and getting massages and acupuncture too. Working out helps me too. Listening to music is a great distraction. I spend my days or free time doing everything I can to stay away from the negative. 

    Well, I am Bipolar I, have PTSD and Severe Anxiety, Hormone problems and PMDD, and I have agoraphobia so I can't even leave the house or sleep without valium. I need clonazepam during the day. I have to be on Clonazepam and other medications for Bipolar disorder. Without them my life becomes a wreck and I start making terrible decisions and I don't even participate in life.

     I'm seeing a new NP on Monday. I've been misdiagnosed my whole life. Unable to keep a steady job, unable to keep a relationship, making bad decisions. The doctors kept trying regular antidepressants. They never worked. Finally last year my doctor and NP figured out that I am Bipolar. I go from sad to extremely happy. I imagine I can do things I can't like write a book in one day. I have started businesses with borrowed money and failed. I am compulsive and have spending problems. Since being on medication my decision making has been better but the Depakote is not helping enough and I am in distress 1/2 the day. I cycle PMDD 12 days per month before my period and my life feels hopeless. I also wake at 3am and can't go back to sleep. I have periods where I don't sleep a lot and then I crash suddenly. 

    I feel relief for about an hour after I work out. Good luck to you. I went for 2.5 months without my benzo's and my life was hell. I can't go out in public without them. I start shaking and sweating and my heart pounds. I grind my teeth and my shoulders get very stiff. 

    I've tried all of the herbs. They didn't work for me. The doctors also only want me taking vitamins and I am not allowed to mix them with my medication. 

    Good luck to you. I'm sure from what you have described your problem is not as bad as mine.  

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    • Posted

      I only just saw your message.

      Why do you have PTSD?

      I have it because of severe bullying in the home, school and work.

      Yes, doctors do not always know. 15 years ago I used to drink because of anxiey.

      I was in detox for 6 days. The doctor said dependancy on drink. Don't drink and you can go back to work.

      The anxiety came back ofcourse. When you get older you learn and I kept going to the doctor after I stopped drinking. Eventually I was diagnosed with PTSD, acute anxiety and severe depression.

      The Citolapram stops the depression. Diazepam and pregabalin stops me panicking.

      Hugs over the network

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