My boyfriend is suffering from PTSD and pushing me away what do I do?

Can I ask 1 question - what support are you getting? I have ptsd and my husband has had to ask for support as the strain of ptsd has nearly ripped our marriage apart several times. Good luck it's a tough road for you and for him! So being honest ptsd is not a walk in the park but is manageable with the right help!

Hey everyone, 

I’ve been seeing a guy since last January and what a rollercoaster it’s been, he had told me that a few years back he had been in a serious accident, he was on a moped and was hit head on, he had to learn to walk and talk again, he said this had effected his marriage as he had no emotional feelings, and his behaviour at the time was out of control, he was sectioned and placed on medication. At the time I was very uneducated on what this was, fast forward 5 months and we was due to attend a wedding, all was fine until the night before when he went missing, I rang his mum out of concern, long story short he had admitted himself to hospital with the thoughts of killing himself, he was again sectioned , but I stood by him, things improved for a short amount of time, he had moved in and we was working together as equals,throughout this time his son visited, but when this happened he always took his son and stayed at his mums as I could never understand why (still don’t) as she had a one bed bungalow and we lived in a 3 bed house, ( a year on and I’ve never met either of his children) then he was back in his dark place as he called it, I was cut off, he returned to his mums and after a couple of weeks we were back on again, then this November I was away for the weekend, my car broke down and when I called he was so distant,he even told me to ring back as he was on another call, I burst into tears when I arrived home, silly probably but I had just towed a car 40 miles, which I’ve never done before and the relief to arrive home was all to much, but when I arrived he left, I was in shock, there was no emotion no compassion nothing.

It took us a long time to talk after that, but my feelings for him had never gone away, Christmas was coming up and we started to make plans, I was getting excited about spending it together when I called him one night and he didn’t answer, I received a text saying “ sorry I don’t want to talk right now” few days later he said he was coming to see me, but then found a excuse not to, four nights in a row he did this, In the middle of all this I discovered I was pregnant but I misscarried,I was hurt but tryed to hold it together,  I really wanted to tell him but I was cut off, his son was due a visit and I was scared to death how he would take this news as he already wasn’t in a good place, in the end we spent Christmas and new year apart, he did text Christmas Day to wish me well but I didn’t reply, not to be petty but I was hurt and didn’t want to get into anything Christmas Day, yesterday I went to his mums to return his items, didn’t go how I hoped as I intended to leave them at the back door, but he was in the garden, he asked if I was alright and that was that I left, he used a excuse to text me and I ended telling him about the misscarrige, his reaction was not what I expected, he actually asked me if I was telling stories, even though the picture I sent of the positive test was quite clearly taken at my house, he soon took that comment back and said he was gutted for me, but I should have told him, we met briefly today to talk and I am in bits, I explained how could I have told him as he was down already, I was scared how he would take the news etc, he just sat there and said he was in no place to be in a relationship and he needs to work on himself, which partly I understand, but he said he had felt like this for months, I’m so hurt, why couldn’t he just have said this at the time. The strange this was as I dropped him off he said that there was things he needed to say but had to process his thoughts first, I thought we was saying our goodbyes but feel the comment he made when leaving was odd

 My boyfriend is currently deployed. He is increasingly cold and distant .

I tried to break up with him because I didn’t understand the ice wall.

Then I dug deeper. I realized that he had indeed flipped his lid. Lost his marbles. The lights are on but nobody’s home.

He seems completely comfortable with his state of mind. He claims that it will go away eventually.

Im having trouble accepting the

cold behavior. It hurts.

Im not sure if I can do this.

Having the one I love, completely disregard me, is not how I want to live. I want to end it. But I feel guilty about ending it.

Hello everyone,

I would love to get some advice as well. I met this awesome guy in college recently. We have been together at least 7 months,so yes I’m fresh in the relationship. However, he served time in Iraq 5 years and terrible things happened there causing him to have a head injury. He invited me to move in with him and everything was just moving fast. We would have a simple argument and he would just shut down on me and this is when he finally admitted he has PTSD. He even said we needed space and all these hurtful things. It’s like one minute he adores me and the next minute he’s distancing hisself from me. I care about him and I want to be by his side but I must admit he hurts my feelings. Mainly because he’s off and on with his feelings about me. He doesn’t understand that I have feelings too and I’m hurt about his actions to me. I’m willing to support him no matter what but I need respect from him too 

I’ve known my boyfriend since we were in 5th grade and we recently started dating...we had a great day on a Friday, he told me that I was his safe place, Sunday he told me that he needed space to work things out in his head, after battling an illness his mother passed away on Tuesday, I found out on Facebook on that Wednesday. He’s is ofcourse being distant, I offered my condolences to him, I got very short responses, but everyone that offered theirs to him on Facebook got sentences of appreciation from him....he’s being so nice to everyone BUT ME....breaks my heart, I know he’s grieving and I’m giving him his space..I’m new to this ptsd and we’ve been friends for over 30 years so I’m NOT going anywhere...has anyone ever experienced the “being nice to others BUT me”?? 

Hey everybody! Well recently my boyfriend who suffers from ptsd broke up with me. He says I deserve someone better and he’s not good enough for me. This is of course devastating to me. I am completely heartbroken that he could just end our relationship without even caring. He acts cold hearted like I didn’t even matter to him. All throughout our relationship he would text other females inappropriate things and I confronted him about it still acted like he didn’t care. He would distant himself from me then come back. I almost feel like I have suffered mental abuse from him. I have stayed by his side through thick and thin. To find out he was cheating on me confuses me. I am extremely heartbroken and I would appreciate any helpful responses. Have a blessed day!

thank you Charlotte for starting this thread. Two months ago my high school crush friended me on facebook and little did I know he had a crush on me back then as well. It's been 20 years! For two straight weeks we were messaging each other constantly, getting to know each other again. He is a retired army combat veteran and he told me he has bad PTSD and TBI. I assured him we will navigate it together. Those two weeks were intense I think we were both so excited about finding each other after all this time and it felt "meant to be." He also mentioned that he is very impulsive. He said he wanted to elope and that I am his perfect woman. After talking for 2 weeks he tells me he is leaving the next day for Wyoming (he lives in Colorado and I in MA about 2 hours from our hometown in MA) for a month of glacier climbing training. I found that impulsive but then again I have a successful career and mortgage and not the freedom to do such things! He never mentioned that he would be off the grid for the month. I don't think I was prepared for the let down going from constant contact to no contact. i didn't hear from him for the first 10 days. It was torture. I finally asked if he was ok that I thought he stopped talking to me and he seems shocked saying he is never not going to talk to me. Over the next two weeks I received a random text from him on 2 of the days. Once in which he indicated that he is "head over heels in love with me." Crazy and intense yes. Now I have not heard from him in 3 weeks. I sent a message Monday and to see if he was ok then on Friday again when I saw he had posted on Facebook and must be back from his training, I was hurt and wanted closure. If anything I thought I had gained a friend. I asked him to just tell me what he needs even if that is to let him be. No response. It consumed me trying to figure out what had changed. Then I realized it could be his PTSD. I started researching it and this thread has been so helpful to understand it is not me and to let go because I have no control over it. I sent him a third message yesterday just to tell him I will always be here for him whether we have contact once a month or once a year because I will. Not romantically but as friends. It breaks my heart to read the stories in this thread. For all the women because I can relate to the feeling and hurt of being ignored by someone you thought loved you. It can consume you. I feel better now that I have created my own closure by sending my message to reinforce my support as opposed to my other messages in which I felt I had made it about me and only put more pressure on him. Thank you to everyone that shared their experiences here as it really has helped me to let it go. Maybe be will resurface and maybe he won't. Regardless I will remind him every few weeks that I am still here.

hello, I've been with my partner who has ptsd from doing a number of tours with the British Army. HE is a veteran now and has been out for almost four years. We have been together for 9 months. All was going well ie he gave me an eternity ring at christmas, we have always said we are soulmates etc. We dont live together, we live quite far apart. The end of April i noticed he was going quiet. He said he always felt tired, like a zombie but he was still in love with me. He said he needed space to recharge and get his head in order. Its now June and ive not heard from him since. All my calls, texts and messages are not answered or read. If the messages are read they are never answered. Ive chatted to his mum and im the only one hes ignoring. People have said mainly the civvie community who have no idea that i should dump him but im not going to.