My boyfriend is suffering from PTSD and pushing me away what do I do?

hi charlotte, i can't believe how tough things sound for you. you've tried everything! it sounds cruel but it may just be worth letting him go for a while, see if he can stand on his own 2 feet WITHOUT your help. i have ptsd which is horrible at the best of times, sometimes i don't want to talk to ANYBODY and that isn't just me being nasty, things become so difficult i can barely process them or make sense of any of it. maybe he's trying to protect you and that will REALLY hurt. just find time for you now. good luck.

Listening to you guys has made me feel better but also made me think I need to run! All of us pretty much have the same exact story... mine ghosted on me last year twice while we were just texting we never met. I was so mad i said i was done and walked away. Out of the blue I get a text from him in May that he’s coming to Atlanta and that he wants to see me if I was willing to. I asked him why he ghosted on me and he said he was embarrassed because he was homeless a couple times and actually lived in his car. I didn’t understand why he wouldn’t call me because he could’ve definitely stayed at my house. He was finally deemed disabled by the VA and able to get a check. he ended up moving to Florida because the VA benefits are way better than they are here. he’s gotten some great help and I can definitely tell a difference however the first time I went to Florida to see him after about four or five days I said something that set him off and he got extremely loud and left. he then basically kicked me out of his house. he never called or text to see if i made the 6 hr drive home safely. he said he saw a post on facebook and knew i was ok.he said that I invoked a rage in him that he’s never felt before. I don’t believe that to be true. since he’s been in the service hes been married twice first wife died of cancer right when he got back so I understand that but he was able to get married again for 4-5 years and then divorced. it’s been two years for him since the divorce and 10 since he was in Iraq. he’s been through therapy 1xweek since January i understand it never goes away even though Iraq was 10 years ago yet out of the blue treats me like this I’ve been warned this is normal many people said that this may not be the best thing for me but it kills me when he ignores me I feel so rejected I told him that and the three months that we’ve steadily been together is been a roller coaster he’ll won’t call me or text me at all and it makes me feel so unwanted! I don’t know how you guys have dealt with this for years or if I can deal with it another day and it’s only been 3 months. I’m already devastated not to mention it’s not like I can go over to the next city and see him I have to drive seven hours in the car or 2 by plane if he doesn’t answer the phone it concerns me and I don’t know what to do!I have now started to go to Facebook looking for a post so that I know he’s OK .listening to you guys makes me think I need to end it before it gets any more serious and hurts even more so later . I love him so much and I want to be there to help him but he’s there which I understand because of the doctors he’s finally found and I live and work here and of course need my job . Should i walk away before I get hurt even more?

Greetings,

I read your story and i completely understand. I'm going through it right now. Leaving is definitely a choice. I choose not to leave right now because i know what's going on with him, but it doesn't make it right. Give it some time before you make a final decision.

it's getting harder to try and maintain a close connection with someone suffering with ptsd. My friend/so gets triggered by several things and i don't have a clue as to what most of them are. Then when it gets bad for him, he disappears for indefinite periods of time. So very frustrating for me.

I am reading this entire thread and it is heart breaking and validating at the same time. I was with a combat vet for an amazing year. He had a bad break a year ago when we pulled out of Afghan and he has not been the same since. He confided in me- told me everything and after a painful 10 months of trying to support him and be there for him despite him trying to push me away, he ended our relationship in a text telling me he was broke. It broke my heart. It was 6 weeks ago that I received the message and never responded. I just do not know what to say. This had been so heart wrenching to me. I know he has not lost feelings, he just cannot access them as I am in a closed compartment right now. The training they go through to shut off feelings is nothing I could ever related to be I feel the pain of it daily. For those of you veterans reading this, I am sorry for what you face and the torture of the memories - I truly am. But you have to know that when you shut out people who love you it is extremely extremely painful.

im not in a position to give advice I can only give my my own experience , I have complex ptsd , when I blow cold worse thing for me is someone explaining to me is what I should do to help myself , because that's more pressure on top of what I'm already going through ! reason I push away is because 1 I dont want anyone I love to see me that way , 2 I don't want to inflict anger or harm on anyone ! 3 I feel people are better off without me in their life . 4 i feel a burden ! this is short term feelings for myself may last a few days , as soon as the ptsd symptoms subside , I then feel guilty angry with myself for upsetting others , then I have to apologise, the best solution is to respect my space , don't question me , don't advise me in my experience if I'm talking about how I'm feeling I'm not looking for advice help just someone to listen and say nothing . he dosent want to end it he just feels he's a burden and your better off without him , I'm 100% sure he loves you dearly .

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