my boyfriends drinkin alot again

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Iv been with my boyfriend for 9months and iv herd countless times him say he needs to stop drinking after a binge where hes been sat on the floor in tears saying about its screwing his life up. He managed to stop drinking for almost a month about 4months ago but now hes started not going to work and lying to me about it again he got a job he loves about a month ago but lately he hasnt gone in yeaterday he finally told me he hasnt been in and it might be due to drinking i dont no what to do anymore help

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32 Replies

  • Posted


    Thank you so much for caring for this guy and not just leaving right away.  Here is the deal, you cannot call AA or his mum, he needs to do all of this on his own.  The best thing you can do for him is this...  Give him am ultimatum.  Tell him this is what the consequences are if he continues to drink, move out, stop seeing him, etc..  Then it is all up to him.  If he does not follow through with what he agrees to do then you leave.  It may seem cruel but some people need the hard truth to slap them in the face before a change is made.  And if a change is not made, well you are out of a sticky situation.  I hope some of this helps.  As a person who is trying to embrace sobriety, I say thank you for giving him the chance for an ultimatum in the first place. 

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  • Posted

    Of course it did not work.  I have stopped becaue I want to stop.  But for some ultimatums do work.  AA is not for me, but AA helps many people.  I do not think there is any one system that works if the heart is just not into it.  But we are concerned about the end game when it cames to drinking.  If an ultimatum, AA, praying, or stopping cold turkey is the right way for the person, than it is the right way. 
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  • Posted

    To understand alcoholics is to understand the addiction. The addiction is in the Brain. Neuro transmitters control every thought in the brain. Addiction Neuro transmitters r the strongest of all the cravings for the drug, alcohol. There is no self control the craving Neuro transmitters in the brain created by alcohol consumption controls every thought. Many drugs r on the market to help the cycle of addiction to come to an end in a neurobiological treatment plan.

    I want to make it clear that this is an alternative to treating alcohol addiction. Many who do not know the many alternatives to treatment must educate themselves to the many treatment alternatives available. Without the knowledge leaves many in the old school ( they r weak etc.) of not clearly understanding alcoholism, it's cravings, causes and the control the drug....alcohol has on the brain.

    There are many drugs on the market available thru drs and substance abuse programs.. this helps the brains Neuro transmitters from sending the alcohol cravings to the brain receptors by interrupting the alcohol driven neuro transmitters in the brain to think past the craving. To think positive and train the brain to undo the negative cyclic behaviors indicative to addiction. To open a clear path in the brain to move on past the control of alcohol.

    Bacofen is one and only drs who treat addictions understand how these drugs work in the brain to help block the cravings in the brain giving the alcoholic a start without all the craving Neuro transmitters controlling the minds every thought.

     Alcoholism is one of the most prevalent substance dependence disorders in the world. Advances in research in the neurobiological mechanisms underlying alcohol dependence have identified specific neurotransmitter targets for the development of pharmacological treatments. PLZ see MRI PICS of the brain of a alcoholic vs. The normal brain. Just google. The colors in the brain outline the addicted transmitters in the brain.

    Acamprosate..... Campral, is an orally administered drug available by prescription in the U.S. and throughout much of the world for treating alcohol dependence. Its safety and efficacy have been demonstrated in numerous clinical trials worldwide. That is not to say there r no side effects,as with any drug there r side effects. Even the side effects of a mind altering drug as alcohol has a life long effects on the body and mind if not controlled can lead to severe illness and death.

    Acamprosate is a drug that is a neurobiological control of alcohol dependence control in the brain. Since Alocohol addiction is controlled by the drug alcohol. This drug approach is often used in many clinics to block cravings & is the treatment for many with alcohol dependence to help thru the powerful Neuro transmitters in the brain which seeks to restore the disrupted changes in neurobiology resulting from chronic alcohol intake. Basically a neuro modulator approach thru transmitters in the brain will provide a better brain function by restoring the nuero transmitters in the brain that serve as the addiction transmitters & break the cycle of dependence on alcohol.

    For more info please see drugs to treat alcoholics online,theres a whole world of help.

    Alcohol treatment no matter what the choice AA or CLINICS or Residential Treatment, or even the pro here on this string available to u and UR boyfriend to chatt and learn the clear ramifications of not knowing the treatment advantages. Rather than learning to sort thru what's available, know by directly speaking with a counselor who can direct u thru experience of treating many alcoholics & can start a recovery program now.

    Educational tools to strengthen the understaning of the brain and alcohol is detrimental to anyone living with a alcoholic. This will be a whole lifetime of evolvement. It never goes away..."Not One More Drink" !

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  • Posted

    Hello Steph,

    Sorry to hear that you are going through this. It is possible you may need to get hard on him to persuade him to get help. I don't go along with the idea being expressed here that you should walk away from him, but I don't think it would do him any harm to realise that he will begin to lose the things that matter to him (you, his job, his friends etc) unless he decides to deal with this problem.

    There really is very little you can do until he accepts reponsibility for his drinking. Once he does, there are plenty of things that can be done to help him but you need to get over that hurdle first.

    I'm not a big fan of 'ultimatums' in relationships, but, in this case, it might be the only way to make him sit up and take notice. Good luck!!

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  • Posted

    Dear steph, I hope that both you and your beloved partner are well at the moment..

    Hope4cure is right CAMPRAL also called ACAMPRACATE is a very helpful drug to cope with the cravings in alcoholism...

     I am so glad that he may go to AA meetings, I went to many meetings at a group which was at my local hospital,.. the group was called COPERS.. I made many friends, it is so helpful to talk to others who totally understand how Lonely alcoholism is.. ( we also had many hearty laughs at some of the ridiculous antics we 

    Got up to ) also AL-ANON is very helpful and reassuring to the loved ones close to an alcoholic, you really need to talk to people who are in the same position, it can be a real comfort to know that you are not alone.... I am also very pleased that he has decided to hopefully tell his mother, she will be a support to you both..

     I admire you for standing by him, he is a very lucky young man, you must be a very kind and compassionate young lady,, never give up hope, while you are both  tackling this problem he still has a fighting chance...

     I truly wish you both health and happiness and you have truly been in my thoughts and prayers..please be kind to yourself and to your much loved partner...

    All the luck and hope in the world... Deirdre xx

    Ps.. many thanks for your lovely words, they truly touched my heart xxx

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    • Posted

      Well thank fully he didnt loose him job like we thought he would i saw him last night and we had a nice talk about it all i will deffently talk to him about that drug for cravings last time he quick he started drinkin alcohol free beer which took him back to normal x
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    • Posted

      There r many drugs available to help stave off cravings to help stop the neurotransmitter in the brain from send out those nasty craving messages over and over. It's a good head start.. 

      His dr will have his health history. Once he amitts he has a drinking problem then the ball can start rolling in a positive direction..biggrin


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  • Posted


    I have just lost nearly everything through drink. Things have been really bad in the last 3 years.  I skip work, sneak out in the night for Vodka, drink it before the family get up and stash the other half for when they have left.  I have done AA, the Ultimate? Recovery programme, Community alcohol serve etc.  I have been arrested, hospitalised. I have lost my family and friends.  My advice - stand by him for as long as you can but make sure he is not drinking at home.  If he is staying he wants to stop agree a plan - no alcohol in the house, and if he comes home having drunk he will not be allowed in.  It will be tough on you but if you can support him do -- but confront the *sh*te when i am drinking I will do and say anything to continue I am manipulative beyond degree - i will try anything - things you wouldnt believe and deny everything.  Good luck to you both

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    • Posted

      Dear Steve and steph.

      Steve could could have been me, apart from the being arrested part, I

      Have however been picked up passed out in a park and searched for

      When I ran off in a panic after buying yet more vodka, hospital, I know

      So many members of staff by their first names in mental health hospital and community services.. I cannot fault any of them, they saved my life and many became personal friends.

      I was so very luck and blessed that every single member of my family, my fantastic psychiatrist and alcohol specialist nurses never, ever gave

      Up on me, if they had I would not be here now.

      We all make mistakes and take paths that we regret deeply, but we also all need someone on our side no matter what, nobody deserves to be

      Alone, if needs be, they can be encouraged told that they are cared for

      At a distance,,, alcoholism is the most isolating and scary feeling in the

      World, if you can steph please stick by him, Steve I wish you well..

      In my thoughts and prayers, look after yourself,DEIRDRE x

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