My daughter won't talk to me

Posted , 2 users are following.

I suffer from bad anxiety and  I go over and over the same thing in my head. Sometimes I can accept the situation. The problem is my grown up daughter age 25 won't speak to me, because I finally left her father 10 years ago when she was 15. She wouldn't come and live with me even though I begged her to.  As she was over 13 her wishes were respected by the court. She wished to stay with her dad.

She has not spoken to me since. I left my husband (her father).  He  would get drunk abuse me, make me feel small, and force me to do things I didn't want to do. I finally left in fear. I did explain to her what went on and why i left, but she says I shouldn't put her dad down. She knew nothing of the abuse I put up with.

Now sometimes I accept that my daughter is safe, healthy and happy, then sometimes the anxiety makes it all so hurtful I feel I can't go on like this. Any advice on how I can handle my anxiety about this  would be greatly appreciated.

1 like, 21 replies

21 Replies

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  • Posted

    Just to clarify, is she aware of the abuse?
    • Posted

      Yes, I have told her, but as she saw nothing i don't think she beleives me.
    • Posted

      Sorry to hear that. How long ago was that?
    • Posted

      I told her 10 years ago and in many letters since.
    • Posted

      Is she willing to sit down and get a coffee with you?
    • Posted

      No I can't get her to talk to me. All I can hope for is she changes her mind when she is older.
    • Posted

      Hmm. Let's try to find a way to speed up this process.

      How far do you live from her?

      How do you normally contact her?

    • Posted

      Hi

      I did send presents and cards etc to her home address. She is now living abroad. I was  allowed to send her birthday present to her work address.

    • Posted

      That's good. 

      When is she back in the country?

    • Posted

      No set date she may even stay there. I suppose all I can do is send letters or little cards now and then telling her I love her. Sometimes the pain of it all overwhelms me. when my anxiety is not too bad I cope better with the situation.
    • Posted

      That's tough, I cant imagine how hard that must be.

      Are you able to call her?

       

    • Posted

      No  I  don't have a number for her.  
    • Posted

      Any other way to contact her at all?

      Email? 

      Facebook?

    • Posted

      No I don't have her email and she blocked me on facebook for no reason.

      It does seem to be an impossible situation, that has gone on far too long.

      It is ridiculous really, I didn't do anything bad.

    • Posted

      Maybe write her a very long, very nice letter?

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