My daughter won't talk to me

Posted , 2 users are following.

I suffer from bad anxiety and  I go over and over the same thing in my head. Sometimes I can accept the situation. The problem is my grown up daughter age 25 won't speak to me, because I finally left her father 10 years ago when she was 15. She wouldn't come and live with me even though I begged her to.  As she was over 13 her wishes were respected by the court. She wished to stay with her dad.

She has not spoken to me since. I left my husband (her father).  He  would get drunk abuse me, make me feel small, and force me to do things I didn't want to do. I finally left in fear. I did explain to her what went on and why i left, but she says I shouldn't put her dad down. She knew nothing of the abuse I put up with.

Now sometimes I accept that my daughter is safe, healthy and happy, then sometimes the anxiety makes it all so hurtful I feel I can't go on like this. Any advice on how I can handle my anxiety about this  would be greatly appreciated.

1 like, 21 replies

21 Replies

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  • Posted

    keep a dialogue with your daughter and try to amend things with her by doing things together if that is possible.  Try and recement your relationship again with her.

    richard

    • Posted

      Thank you Richard  All these years i have sent Christmas, birthday and letters etc explaining things. She never even says thank you for gifts I have sent. A small thank you would make me so happy!   It seems like she will never come round. I don't live near her as I had to move away from my ex as I was worried about my safety.
  • Posted

    when she is older she will come to and remember  that you didn't forget her and hopefully you will be on speaking terms again.

    rich

  • Posted

    She has been brainwashed by her Dad who most definetly bad mouthed you in a way to make him look like the victim and used your anxiety disoder against you. He was able to give and do things for her you  couldnt.Its very sad and im so sorry for you. She will get to the point where she will regret treating you so poorly, but probably wont happen until she herself has children. As she is now abroad it appears she wants to start a life of her own. If possible find her facebook or social media accounts but dont harrass her, it wont work. You should be able to locate her using search sites you might have to pay a couple of bucks then send her sweet little cards saying i love you and such. Please realize she has been effected by you, your husband and the way her life played out as well. At 25 life is a self absorbed experience. Let her find herself and form a stable life for herself. Dont lose hope. 
    • Posted

      Thank you for your reply. You are right he did bad mouth me and  brainwashed  her. I too thougt she moved abroad to get away from the situation. I have always hoped when she has her own children she will come round. She blocked me on facebook. I recently sent birthday presents to her place of work, as she doesn't want me to have her home address. When my mum tried talking her round, she said  "I'm not ready yet"  My friend said that is a good sign as she didn't say never.  Thank you again for your reply.

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