My daughter won't talk to me

I suffer from bad anxiety and  I go over and over the same thing in my head. Sometimes I can accept the situation. The problem is my grown up daughter age 25 won't speak to me, because I finally left her father 10 years ago when she was 15. She wouldn't come and live with me even though I begged her to.  As she was over 13 her wishes were respected by the court. She wished to stay with her dad.

She has not spoken to me since. I left my husband (her father).  He  would get drunk abuse me, make me feel small, and force me to do things I didn't want to do. I finally left in fear. I did explain to her what went on and why i left, but she says I shouldn't put her dad down. She knew nothing of the abuse I put up with.

Now sometimes I accept that my daughter is safe, healthy and happy, then sometimes the anxiety makes it all so hurtful I feel I can't go on like this. Any advice on how I can handle my anxiety about this  would be greatly appreciated.

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