My drink problem and constant fear of losing my job
Posted , 11 users are following.
Since retraining as an accountant I have felt the stress to be unbearable.
In my first role the training was none existent but because I had never worked for a firm before I assumed this was normal. I'd spend ages trying to figure out things for myself as whenever I asked me boss for help he simply wasn't interested. At my 6 month review things were all fine, then at 9 months they said I wasn't progressing well enough and sacked me, just before Christmas.
Snapped up a new job at a different firm and things seemed great for the first five months. I planned to move closer to the job and asked boss before committing to solicitor costs was he happy with my work as it was just before my six month probation. Said he was happy with my work. Three weeks later said I was still a bit slow so extending a further six months.
My dog died in October and I struggled around that time. Obviously work wasn't as good as usual but I worked in my own time so as to not go over budgets. Well even before then I was petrified of going over budget in case it put my job at risk do worked lunches and breaks most the time. Also kept head down and didn't chat much for fear of getting in trouble.
At December review day before Christmas party they said work hadn't been consistent and I should have left my problems at home. Extending 3 more minths.
At Christmas party I spoke to a girl from the other team and she said exactly the same thing was being done to her. All the things they kept saying we're generic reasons but our work quality could not be disputed.
Things got worse for the girl, she had done all her accounts exams but never done accounts prep before. But they took her on at a high salary when she had never done the job. They were blaming her for this, saying she wasn't good enough and bullying her.
I made silly mistake of emailing HR to say I felt we were being treated unfairly yet we worked so so hard and our work was good.
Three or so weeks later they sacked me. Two weeks after she was next.
I was unemployed two and half months and then got a job at an accountancy company - slightly diff to working in a firm. I was petrified starting. I'm still there and the stress and fear of being sacked is horrible. As I don't drive it takes 2 hours each way to get there and I work a solid 9 hours and no break as the work load is ridiculous. Every night as soon as I leave I rush to go to get wine and drink it very fast. I know this makes it worse but what with the stress and exhaustion, I guess it just want to blot it all out.
Are there any accountants out there - is this normal to feel like this is business these days? In which case I need a new plan. Or is it perfectly understandable that my drinking is progressively getting worse if I feel constantly under pressure and always have the fear of losing my job again which ultimately means I could lose my home, everything.
Thank you loads x
2 likes, 26 replies
RHGB emma84640
Posted
I'm not an accountant, but as someone that has worked in middle management for a very large international firm, here is some future advice in dealing with HR depts.
The HR dept's function is to protect the company from employees. If a member of staff were to go to HR and complain about their manager, before you even had had a chance to get back to your desk, they've probably phoned your manager and told him of the 'problem', the 'problem' being you.
Don't ever think that HR is there to act as a referee and support employees. Their first thoughts will be, your card is now marked, you are a troublemaker and they will look at any angles where they think you might try and take them to a tribunal/court.
The only time they will take notice, is if it is somethign like sexual harrassment of the physical nature, when they know that the courts will take a very dim view of no action is taken. Having seen first hand the way that HR depts work, I would never go to them with a grievance.
emma84640 RHGB
Posted
hope4cure emma84640
Posted
The tolerance level rises the more alcohol is added to obtain the normal high or self treat pain stress. Getting to know your triggers and coping tools is helpful.
See your GP for treatment and advice. You have made an important first step for you to ask if you have a problem with alcohol.
There are roughly four levels of alcohol drinking - social, heavy, problem and dependent. As a rule, each level increases the risk to your health and safety.
See the side bar here on alcohol boards to help you with many of the details for advice and treatment available that works. Also the first two posts from the moderator can direct you to more information on this disease.
emma84640 hope4cure
Posted
Hiya,
I've been seeing the doctors about my drink problems since I was about 25. I am now 34.
Recently I was at breaking point. Yet again got referred to alcohol services. Ex crack addict counsellor there said you just need to stop drinking and use will power. The nurse said we won't give medication like naltrexone or campral unless you quite drinking. Clearly that's the sticking point lol! My lack of self control, and unfortunately when I get so stressed (work and family problems etc - which I appreciate everyone has and I just must not cope as well as others) the appeal of wine is more compelling that doing some yoga to try and calm down ??
ADEfree emma84640
Posted
Well, I'm not an accountant and I'm across the pond, but it seems that the labor market is so loose that employers can get away with this nonsense.
That being said, there's nothing about alcohol that will fix it. Take a look at how much you go through per day and see what that adds up to per month. I was spending about $500 per month before I used Naltrexone to help me put an end to it. On top of that, it addles your brain and perpetuates your situation by numbing you to other opportunities that might improve your situation.
Start putting the drink aside, save some money, deal with the anxiety in another way and be looking for your next job now, because it sounds like you're working for the same jerks that just happen to be on a different piece of dirt.
Maybe you can start a business that caters to private practice physicians or some other specific types of small/medium businesses that don't need a full time accountant, or maybe they need a bookkeeper instead? I don't know how things work in the UK, just trying to stir up some ideas that might spark a notion that leads to some way out for you.
emma84640 ADEfree
Posted
Aw thank you for your thoughts. Sparked a bit of ray of light for me ??
I'm not fully qualified and so, not experienced enough to set up alone. I guess I need to do my time and then get out and work for myself.
But bookkeeping is certainly something I can do on the side.
I've started leaving bank cards at home so can't rush to pub after work.
X
numpty emma84640
Posted
Hi Emma. I'm not accountant or anything that clever! I was a civil servant up until 2015 when I took early retirement to become my 93 year old mother in law's full time carer.
I have had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol for about 18 years - I'm 58 -. I have been to NHS 'help services' and have just self referred back to this on the request of my family - I hasten to add not my husband, he thinks it's a waste of time - he doesn't drink by the way, so go figure!! When I initially went to the recovery service and asked for naltrexone they wouldn't give it me until my liver function test hit 35. The lowest it was,was 39, but still couldn't have it Getting campral was a fight and I have a feeling I will face the same fight when I see the counsellor next week. They don't make recovery easy sometimes. Good luck xx
emma84640 numpty
Posted
Hiya,
Aw accountancy isn't hard lol. Just lots of boring rules to learn and terribly kept client records lol.
I have seen various alcohol services over and over. I tried nalmefene twice but it made me so I'll even after the initial side effects.
Each time I've seen the alcohol services they say exercise self control. I said to my doctor once that if it was as simple as that surely why are there so many alcoholics in the first place.
It's like you have to be on deaths door to get proper help and by then it's too late.
If only the same attention to us was given as to smokers x
Misssy2 emma84640
Posted
Hi emma..
It doesn't sound like accounting is for you. That doesn't mean YOU are broken...it means ACCOUNTING is not a good fit for you. I'm sure you have transferable skills!
When a person is under so much stress and so unhappy in a role...the mistakes just happen...pile up.
You have lowered self esteem due to being let go on similar jobs...and that self esteem is carrying over to this job and every other job until you address it.
It also sounds like the commute is very stressful....and then add the drinking on top of everything and everything seems amplified.
The job situation must change first.
When we have a drinking issue....we can rarely ever stop while we are under copius amounts of stress.
I'm not giving you an excuse to drink..but I do understand why you are drinking.
emma...do whatever it takes...you need a new job.
emma84640 Misssy2
Posted
Hi missy,
You are right. Just upsetting thinking why am I so wrong for this career. Academically I'm ok/ fairly good, slog myself to get the work done, work over and above. I guess I care about the work too much perhaps.
I've sent my cv off and spoken with a recruiter telling them about the past few job situations and asked for advice. Will try one more accounts role and in the meantime re think my options.
Issue is I live alone and to do a job I'd have to retrain for means a salary drop and it wouldn't cover my bills by a long stretch. And family couldn't help me out financially as a short term buffer.
Eeek I need a life overhaul x
Misssy2 emma84640
Posted
Don't give up...keep your chin high the rest of this week.
This JOB is not the last job you will have either.
Looking back...everything works out somehow...I'm in the process of losing everything and I have to recall the past that everything has worked out...and God is here with me.
If you look back....I'm sure you can see you have made it thru tough situations and you will continue to do that...as long as you don't fall prey to drinking all morning and night.
Have some confidence in yourself..and show it....you are no LESS than the person who you work for.....you may even have better attributes...focus on those this week.
emma84640 Misssy2
Posted
Things just got worse ?? Feel will break. What have I done so wrong in life to deserve this.
The managers called me into the board room and said they not happy with me sending 'I will have to get back to you emails' to clients and if I send anymore again there will be a formal disceplonary procedure.
Basically the company has a rule that if we don't reply to clients if they email us by 4 o clock everyday then they can ask for a refund. I said well I'm working 9 hours straight and no lunch and still struggling. I said other than taking the work home with me I can't think what else I can do. They insinuated the workload is fine and I should be able to cover it all easy.
One of the girls there who does her hours and not a minute over said they clearly stupid to not see the work I'm putting in and no wonder the company has a high turnover.
It's clearly something about me that managers automatically take against me regardless of me slogging my guts out for them,
Heartbroken and stressed. I can't take much more. If lose my home mom wouldn't have me back we just clash too much. I'm close to breaking ??
l71207 emma84640
Posted
Emma I'm kind of going through what you are and I feel for you. Don't let the drink take over. I did and almost lost my job. If you leave your job leave it with your head high knowing your a hard worker. Keep coming back here. I get support here I never thought possible. The people here really care.
emma84640 l71207
Posted
Thank you so much. What were the reasons? Similar to mine? I have worked so so hard and this is what I get ?? It puts such pressure on shoulders cos makes you worry everyday your gonna have the 'your out' talk. And that fact I've worked harder than most it's clearly I could lose job for no reason at all others than the managers are not managers at all and ignorant fools x
l71207 emma84640
Posted
I transferred as a department manager at a store that does twice the amount of volume. Which is fine with me because I like to work hard and I think I gave it my all. But nobody wants to train me and no one wants to help me and I keep getting reprimanded because I'm not doing things right. I'm afraid to talk to HR because at my last store when I specifically told the HR not to tell anybody she immediately went and told the store manager who then went and question me about it. So I started drinking heavily every day to compensate with this which was a huge mistake. My wife has stuck with me but she's been ready to leave me a couple of times because I've just gotten so bad because that's what I use as a stress release. She doesn't understand because she can have one drink and it doesn't bother her. I'm now on day 7 without having a drink but I've had to have been on Librium the entire time and I hate the way it makes me feel cloudy and it's hard to focus but hopefully it'll be out of my system in a few days. When I'm not drinking I feel great I eat right and I work out every day. I read a lot more I play my guitar and I feel focused. I just let the stress get to me and I need to find another way to let it out. Just never give up. You keep coming back here
l71207
Posted
I never thought I would work at a different type of job but after talking to multiple people here I know you can find other jobs you can find jobs that will make you happy where you can be happy and it doesn't have to be this way.
emma84640 l71207
Posted
Aw yes that sounds very familiar. Their fault and your life gets ruined for it, I work 8:30 straight to 5:30 no break at all, have to get two buses there. Leave 7 then get home half seven. My poor dogs are on own. I pay my neighbours to look after them during day.
The lady manager was so positive Friday just gone, said we see your trying hard. Then highlighted the service guarantee meant not good enough to acknowledge client ebails, had to fully reply. I said only sent 'I'll get back to you emails' cos didn't have time in the 9 hour days to cover it all. Today she turned mean. Said I'll be put on disciplinary procedure if happens again.
If I chatted all day, clearly couldn't do the job and/ or didn't care then fine but I'm pushing myself to the brink for this.
I came off nalmefene because of the cloudiness. Found I was sharper with constant drink than on those meds. I know alcohol doesn't help but auto turn to it. Know my performance clearly must not be as 100 percent as if no drink involved but the stress gets too much. Think if was affecting that badly they'd say hey your really not cutting it. As it stands all they could say is you shouldn't email a client until after 4 so we fulfil service guarantee. Disgusting. If I had freedom to tell the clients they were being ripped off royally I would, gone are the days of being able to work hard and do a good job.
My main stress is I live alone and no one could help me financially, if I was taking mick and not working hard then hey I've got it coming but I'm giving every last dregg I've got ?? Starting to think a standard job on tesco checkout jobs whilst not like accounting will hopefully part cover my bills and I can part of my life and sanity back. The way it's going I won't cope much longer.
ADEfree emma84640
Posted
Sounds like your typical "bodyshop" as we call it here in the US. High turnover, maybe they get a dole from the Government for new hires.
Maybe check in with a temporary service where you'll see some different companies, some are temp-to-hire positions and you can "try them out" while they're trying you out. I wonder if some of them might allow working from home more often too.
Do you have something that tracks your time per client at your present job? I think there are apps you can get for your phone that will do that, you could show them how much time it takes per task per client, including responding to emails.
l71207 emma84640
Posted
Your story sounds familiar. I found if I had a nip or two I could stay focused and get through the stress. The problem was more stress more drink and then too much drink aND my wife is screaming at me. I'm the primary bread winner so I don't think she gets it. She thinks just deal with it. Wish it was that easy.