My drink problem and constant fear of losing my job

Since retraining as an accountant I have felt the stress to be unbearable.

In my first role the training was none existent but because I had never worked for a firm before I assumed this was normal. I'd spend ages trying to figure out things for myself as whenever I asked me boss for help he simply wasn't interested. At my 6 month review things were all fine, then at 9 months they said I wasn't progressing well enough and sacked me, just before Christmas.

Snapped up a new job at a different firm and things seemed great for the first five months. I planned to move closer to the job and asked boss before committing to solicitor costs was he happy with my work as it was just before my six month probation. Said he was happy with my work. Three weeks later said I was still a bit slow so extending a further six months.

My dog died in October and I struggled around that time. Obviously work wasn't as good as usual but I worked in my own time so as to not go over budgets. Well even before then I was petrified of going over budget in case it put my job at risk do worked lunches and breaks most the time. Also kept head down and didn't chat much for fear of getting in trouble.

At December review day before Christmas party they said work hadn't been consistent and I should have left my problems at home. Extending 3 more minths.

At Christmas party I spoke to a girl from the other team and she said exactly the same thing was being done to her. All the things they kept saying we're generic reasons but our work quality could not be disputed.

Things got worse for the girl, she had done all her accounts exams but never done accounts prep before. But they took her on at a high salary when she had never done the job. They were blaming her for this, saying she wasn't good enough and bullying her.

I made silly mistake of emailing HR to say I felt we were being treated unfairly yet we worked so so hard and our work was good.

Three or so weeks later they sacked me. Two weeks after she was next.

I was unemployed two and half months and then got a job at an accountancy company - slightly diff to working in a firm. I was petrified starting. I'm still there and the stress and fear of being sacked is horrible. As I don't drive it takes 2 hours each way to get there and I work a solid 9 hours and no break as the work load is ridiculous. Every night as soon as I leave I rush to go to get wine and drink it very fast. I know this makes it worse but what with the stress and exhaustion, I guess it just want to blot it all out.

Are there any accountants out there - is this normal to feel like this is business these days? In which case I need a new plan. Or is it perfectly understandable that my drinking is progressively getting worse if I feel constantly under pressure and always have the fear of losing my job again which ultimately means I could lose my home, everything.

Thank you loads x

2 likes, 26 replies