My husband causes my anxiety levels to rise
Posted , 6 users are following.
I had my fourth child four years ago, she is my husbands first child. He loves her dearly but his patience is non existent. She knows exactly what buttons to press and he just can't ignore her. I feel like I'm walking on egg shells all the time. I suffer with PTSD, and one of the major symptoms of that for me is anxiety. I've tried explaining to my husband that he makes me feel like I'm constantly on high alert just waiting for something to happen. Even the sound of his voice makes my stomach tighten. I wake up every morning with chronic stomach ache, which is caused by my stress levels shooting up as soon as I wake up. It's definitely been worse these last couple of weeks as my husbands has been at home. I'm curious to see if it gets better once he goes back to work. I've tried talking to him, I just don't know what else to do.
1 like, 46 replies
Purpledobermann emilee30763
Posted
Noone can wind an adult up like an unreasonable toddler. I think your husband saw the kids you already raised and expected the same smoothness in relating to his first-born. But babies are different than pre-teens. They make no sense. They are difficult and wild at times. I think he just has trouble relating to a toddler and he has a low threshold. In which case what he can do is stay out of waters he finds too deep and let you handle her. But he has to agree to not engage. Councelling is great if you go together. It always takes two. And maybe if you explain to him that kids form like 200 neural connections per minute he will understand why they are often what seems...unreasonable. Show him videos of irrate behaviour in toddlers - funny toddler meltdowns and stuff. Let him know her behaviour is intense but generally normal. He must not engage. I think spending time at home was too much for him. He will probably feel more comfortable with some distance, i.e. back at work. It took us quite a while to get over our firstborns crying (she was also a screamer) and to be honest neither of us are the same people as when we started out. She got the better of us. We took turns - the calmest one dealt with her. But having said all that you must not be the one walking on eggshells or fixing everything. He has to actively look for ways to handle his child better. It is a part of growing up. The painful part of growing up. And if he can't find a solution or escalates, that is a different story. Hope he is open to all this. Wishing you all the best. x