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My life has to change .... so low tonight

Posted , 12 users are following.

lori93950
lori93950

Saturday night and wow I’m at a low point .

I don’t work my husband divorced me don’t have any family and only a few friends in my rinky dink little town  that HE moved me to . I realize now what depression is ! I’ve never felt so low.

I’m pretty attractive and could go out on dates if I wanted but my fatigue is so bad eyes closing at 6pm.

Just started HRT and it’s not giving me a restful sleep . If it happens again tonight going to cut the patch in half ! 

Hope somebody out there is having a great weekend but if you’re not ... I’ll will feel better that I’m not completely alone .

I have a cat who’s like my baby and the tv but apart from that ....it’s like being in prison. At least you have people to talk to in a prison . 

5 likes, 32 replies

32 Replies

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  • Guest
    Guest lori93950

    Posted

    Hi Lori, are you able to move back to where your family lives? 

    I'm sorry you are feeling lonely. My husband travels, my kids live very far away, and I live far away from all my family. There are times I feel very alone too. 

    Maybe you could online date, and go out to lunch instead of at night? Are you on FB? I always find people to chat with on FB, old friends from elementary school even! 

    There are times I really have to push myself (and it's often these days) to get out and do stuff, but when I do it helps take my mind off all my illness. I went to a Yankees game today, and felt great while I was there. Came home and feel rotten again. Oh! Maybe it's my house! haha (I just read on FB about a woman who was very ill for 10 years and it turns out her gas hot water heater had been installed improperly and was leaking causing her to be sick!) So of course, first thing I do is call to have someone inspect my water heater and stove! Oh the health paranoia..it never ends.

    Is your patch just estrogen? If so, you need progesterone to sleep!!

    XOXO

    • lori93950
      lori93950 Guest

      Posted

      Hi Suzanne 

      That’s great you went to a game ! I just can’t do things like that right now as I don’t do well with crowds I’m an empath and there’s just too many energies . Plus I’ve not got the energy .

      My family at in the UK and Southern California I’m 6 hours away. It’s so hard to move and I have to wait until my hormones are stable before I do anything .

      Yes I’m I the HRT patch estrogen and progesterone please God it lifts my spirits. 

      And yes! Every twinge and weird pain we get freaked out . Get a carbon monoxide monitor that will see your mind. I got carbon monoxide poisoning from a mini heater once .... had a great sleep ha! But yes it makes you feel unwell and dizzy. 

    • Guest
      Guest Guest

      Posted

      Hi Suzanne, you mentioned feeling bad after getting home from the game but enjoying yourself while there.  That’s exactly what I’ve been noticing for a long time.  I do okay around other people but struggle as soon as I’m alone.  I live alone, never married, no kids or pets.  It seems that this is a time in life when we really need support.  I never used to feel lonely on my own. 🌸

  • khadija03663
    khadija03663 lori93950

    Posted

    Hi hun, u are not alone. Am single going through this phase all alone I have few friends but they are all busy and hardly see anyone, I do feel very lonely, if u want we can exchange inf and chat or talk and I can tell what am going through. Hung in there this shall pass. Hugs
    • lori93950
      lori93950 khadija03663

      Posted

      Hi khadija

      That sounds lovely .... i normally don’t mind being alone ..... I think it’s just when you know you ‘cannot ‘ go out as you’ll probably fall asleep at the table and if I’m not asleep by 10pm I’m screwed the next day. Always been able to stay up at least until 12 ha! Not now ! 

      Plus when you feel ‘weird’ you’re kind of there talking but not fully present . Hope this passes soon ! Yes message me and let’s exchange info x

  • sideways67
    sideways67 lori93950

    Posted

    Yes, menopause sucks. My energy is gone, also. My marriage has struggled and I’ve often imagined how my life would change after giving my soul to my family for the last 24 years.  My life was my girls and now one is senior in college moving on with her life.   Yes, my youngest is still here but I’m not the same person and our life has changed so much in the last five years due to a mirad of unfortunate circumstances and it has left me reeling.  Health is everything and you don’t miss it til it’s gone.  Socialization is very key as I’m better when I’m involved and out, also, until I get home.  It’s good to hear others say the same as all our circumstances are different but we all feel the same. Like life is over and it has stopped. Dissolving what once was is hard no matter if it’s through divorce, death or major life changes. Praying for you that karma will turn your way. 🦋

    • lori93950
      lori93950 sideways67

      Posted

      Yes I just got divorced in November and it was almost better being in years of limbo ... waiting for the divorce . These things like your children keep you mentally busy then there’s a VOID. What now ? What’s the rest of our lives going to be like ? This change should happen later in life say 80! It’s different now we’re a lot younger ... I’m in the best shape I’ve ever been and we need these bloody years! We need to feel 100% !

      I’m praying meditating when I can . It’s like I’m doing a sentence . Should be dating now I’m single but I don’t have the energy or inclination. 

      Just be thankful you have other bodies in the house .... going through this alone .. it’s tough! 💋

    • mauiblue
      mauiblue lori93950

      Posted

      keep reaching out Lori. Yes isolation is dreadful..we are here to listen, complain all you want, thats what we are here for.

      I also feel a lot of undercurrents of anger, in some of us here too..i am not an angry person, (in my twenties i was pretty feisty) but now just sad..but i have to say that things are really starting to peeve me lately..like i want to just let the world have it....

      F&^& this and F*^$ that.. i get it. 

      x0x00x

    • sideways67
      sideways67 lori93950

      Posted

      i"m sure it is dear.  I feel for you. Trying really hard to rejuvenate my marriage.  It seems to be working. He had double knee replacement at 47 yrs old and that was not good for the marriage after the setbacks we experienced the last five years but we are still together and trying. Like you, I'm attractive and trim and could land another man but don't have the desire most days and want to keep our family intact if at all possible. Why did I give my soul for this is what I feel most days. He has ADHD and is not motivated so I guess I've joined him .  I guess I gave up and joined him with all the physical stuff challenging me.  I have been wondering if ADHD meds or nootropics might help get my mojo back. Yes, I thought I had more time, too,  Even 60 is better than this change at 50.  It really does suck.  I thought my mom just wanted attention and was acting spoiled as my dad was making tons of money for once in their life and she still wasn't happy.  Now, I see why she wasn't faking it and it really does suck.  Your health is everything! Prayers that you find a solution and share if you do!

    • lori93950
      lori93950 sideways67

      Posted

      Yes I loved being married but husband went weird around 42 we’re still friends and get on well together but it’s hard being alone going through this . I find myself just walking around the house ... washing a bloody fork anything to keep mind active  . Can’t relax but oh so tired . 

      I’d say keep at your marriage the other option is dating which is so exhausting and not as great as it sounds. 

    • lori93950
      lori93950 sideways67

      Posted

      Yes I’ve thought of adderall too but it makes you so hyper which I’m sure would give you panic attacks .... at the moment I don’t even drink caffeine . 
    • Guest
      Guest lori93950

      Posted

      Hi Lori, it is really tough to be alone.  I have been trying to reach out more lately.  Definitely helps to chat here in the forum with you and the other kind ladies.  Just got off an hour on the phone with my sister trying to explain what I’m going through and she offered some helpful advice.  She’s dealing with being a divorced mom of two sons.  So many things happening and changing at this stage of life.  Her ex-husband moved her constantly to small towns due to his jobs and I know she struggled with feeling isolated.  You are in a time of recovering and healing that may take a long time.  Be kind to yourself and find ways to connect with people who can support you. Reaching out here in the forum is helpful.  🌸

  • Edell7329
    Edell7329 lori93950

    Posted

    Lori, I understand feeling so low. It can be so isolating. It's hard to believe that hormones can do this! I will be happy to talk anytime if you want to exchange info. Let me know. Hugs to you

    • lori93950
      lori93950 Edell7329

      Posted

      Hi Edell

      I know ! I feel so uneducated ! I had NO CLUE because nobody talks about it! I am pretty wise and when people talk I listen .... so I would have believed what they told me . I’ve told all my friends but I don’t think they realize how debilitating it is and only for this forum ....and all the lovely ladies ... 

      . I’d go crazeeeee ❤️

  • tammie06386
    tammie06386 lori93950

    Posted

    Hi Lori! I am 6 most post surgery in menopause and I have similar days like that. I have a HRT patch but I am a constant roller coaster. I am glad to hear it is not me. I've kept this mostly to myself since my family lives far away & I think my friends & husband just think I am crazy! Reassuring to know I am not! Hope your night improves... ??

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