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My mother age 85 has stage 5 Kidney failure..

Posted , 30 users are following.

tricia83055
tricia83055

My mother is suffering from. Kidney failure, needless to say dialysis is not an option given her other healissues. 

Over the past week she seems to have gone downhill, her appetite has gone and she has become very weak.

It's awful to see her like this sad My mother has always been very active and now she just has no energy.

She is very tired and sleeps a lot.

I'm interested in communicating with others who have witnessed this. I've read a lot on the internet but it's not quite the same as having first-hand knowledge.

Many thanks smile

0 likes, 44 replies

44 Replies

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  • Wots
    Wots tricia83055

    Posted

    First things first I'm not a health professional. my partner is in stage 5 failure and has been for 18 months and is on peritoneal dialysis.

    Without it simply she would die.

    I can't see why you would say dialysis is not an option!

    Tiredness is normal even with dialysis as most patients have high blood pressure and hence are on a cocktail of items to try and stabilise that. They also tend to take a cocktail of other things they must take to try and balance the bodies elements. 

    Without dialysis your mothers health and life will most likely be (no easy way to put it) short.

    There is life beyond dialysis and I urge you to help yourself and your mother to reconsider.

    However obviously just from a short message no one can see the real situation and maybe there is no option?

    I think at times like this family needs to be close.

    All the best

    Russ R

    • tricia83055
      tricia83055 Wots

      Posted

      After several meetings with the consultants, dialysis was not recommended, my mother is very frail and what little energy she has would be taken from her. She herself knows she wouldn't be able to cope with dialysis. As the consultants have said it would do more harm than good.
  • kate58
    kate58 tricia83055

    Posted

    Contact the National Kidney Federation - there is the best advice there - helpline (free from UK landlines) 0845 601 02 09.  My father started dialysis at 86 with a multitude of health problems, not least heart bypass surgery at age 57.  He was very poorly when he started, but had another 4 years of good quality life - bless him, he died 2 months ago, having reached 90.  Please do question the decision not to offer dialysis.
  • Wots
    Wots tricia83055

    Posted

    Well done Kate I couldn't remember the main charity.

    We have one local to leicester too and are very good when it comes to support. I wouldn't think twice when it comes to helping out.

    The support dialysis patients get is fantastic.

    That includes advice, at home services, holidaying etc...

    Thank for supporting me to encourage Tricia to seek dialysis for her mum, it's what she deserves after all. Trouble is too many clinics and Gp's right of patients particularly the elderly!

    Tricia go seek a second opinion your mothers entitled to that. Go back to her GP and tell him you would like a second opinion however before doing that talk to the the National Kidney trust first and seek their advice and support.

    No matter how frail they will help and with they're help, support and possible treatment you could see an amazing turn around but time is short so pick up your telephone and call.

    Let us all know what happens?

    I'd love to see another success.

    Russ

  • helen54849
    helen54849 tricia83055

    Posted

    I would agree on the bicarb it will make things worse.  There is advise that tells you not to self medicate.  Not to get anyone exited! but bicarb effects your BP, potassium and other blood levels at end stage renal failure.  I am at end stage but I can have the relevant care.  To be told you can do nothing but watch must be awful, I have been in your position (not with renal failure) and to watch someone you love disappear in front of your eyes is awful and my heart goes out to you.  It may be worth for your own piece of mind asking for a second opinion about dyalysis. What does your mum want? has she said she doesn't want dyalasis, what are her thoughts?
    • tricia83055
      tricia83055 helen54849

      Posted

      Hello Helen

      My mother also agreed with the consultants regarding dialysis and to be honest both my mother and myself feel she wouldn't cope with it. Her Dr also agrees with this decision.

      We have had 3 opinions from others in the medical profession and due to my mother's health issues, being so frail etc, the best that can be done is being closely monitored, regular blood tests and reviews of medication.

      She is not in pain, just very tired all the time and sleeping much more now. Unfortunately, she is not eating very much and this of course adds to her weakness. If she felt hungry it would help, but unfortunately, she doesn't.

    • helen54849
      helen54849 tricia83055

      Posted

      Hi Tricia,

      Then I think you have done everything possible and at the end of the day your mum is still here and has a right to say what she wants so you are doing what is right for your family.  Its not an easy decision and your both very brave.  I'm hoping to avoid dyalasis as I was asked to have a look into it just incase and having done so both ways looks awful how do you choose, its not like do you want chocolate cake or carrot cake so I understand your mums choice totally.  I have read that its is a nice way to go (I don't mean that flipantly) as people don't feel pain so I hope this helps.  please let us know how you go much love x

    • tricia83055
      tricia83055 helen54849

      Posted

      Hello Helen

      I read also that passing over due to kidney failure is a very peaceful way to go.

      Dialysis is not for everyone, some are good candidates others not so good.

      Yes, we are happy with my mother's decision.

      At this present moment she is in hospital, I took her up this afternoon.

      It was necessary due to how unwell she has been these past 2 weeks. Her calcium level went from very low to pretty high. Also she has no appetite, this of course has made her very weak.

      She will be put on a drip and hopefully she will regain some of her strength.

    • tricia83055
      tricia83055 helen54849

      Posted

      Due to ongoing fluid retention, since Saturday evening my mother now has fluid basically running down her legs. I was shocked to see this! She saw her cardiac consultant last Thursday for an annual check up (she has heart failure also) he prescribed a new medication, Bendroflumethiazide @ 5mg and said make sure you are near the bathroom when you take these.

      Up until now, my mother is hardly passing anything and when she does it's very little. He asked I monitor her weight. Her usual weight is around 8 1/2 stone. Over the past couple months she has gone up to 10st. Needless to say her weight is not dropping.

      A district nurse bandaged her legs Saturday night and changed the dressings again yesterday. Of course with such a fluid loss, she is unable to wear trousers.

      I'm hoping something can be done about this, something that will remove all this fluid, not just her legs but stomach and abdomen area.

    • kate58
      kate58 tricia83055

      Posted

      I'm not sure that giving your mother a diuretic (tab to help her pass urine - Bendroflumethiazide) will work in end stage renal failure, since it is the kidneys that produce the urine.  Contact your nephrologist for support and advice - they will have a specialist nurse on hand to offer expert help.  Best wishes, Kate

       

    • tricia83055
      tricia83055 kate58

      Posted

      Thanks Kate, my mother was admitted this afternoon. This time she will be on the cardiac ward. As one of the drs said trying to strike a balance will be tricky, what with the heart failure and kidney failure running along side.

      What may work for one, may not work for the other.

    • debntrue
      debntrue tricia83055

      Posted

      Tricia, my mom is 96 with history of CHF and kidney damage stage 3+. She was admitted to hospital twice in last 6 weeks, now in rehab and not eating. Just the thoughts of food is nauseating. No swelling in lower body but appears to in abdomen/heart/lungs? The nurse practitioner told me today trips to ER, hospital etc is pretty much useless due to repeated symptoms occurring.

      They are talking about basically not aggressively treating and a peaceful passing with kidney failure. This is so very hard as I know you and others who've experienced know. My question is do we go along with this and just let her go or continue to take her to hospital etc. She lives in a senior independent apt and could go home with hospice, or could stay in the skilled nursing facility for long term care. Or, I could take her home with me. Mom also has a colostomy which has to be cared for.....

      This is probably the hardest situation I've had to deal with.

      Thank you in advance for any words of advice, encouragement...

    • sue39081
      sue39081 debntrue

      Posted

      Whatever happened?  I am currently in the exact situation.
  • kate58
    kate58 tricia83055

    Posted

    Hang in there, Tricia.  Kidney failure and heart failure together equal major fluid retention - the heart is not pumping efficiently, and the kidneys are not able to get rid of the fluid.  Thinking of you. xx
    • tricia83055
      tricia83055 kate58

      Posted

      My beautiful mother passed away on December 7th. She had spent nearly 3 weeks in hospital due to fluid retention. She was receiving Palliative care . I was desperate to get her home. She came home on December 2nd, a hospital bed was delivered, I stopped working to care for her.

      I had a lot of support from the medical services, they were all  amazing.

      I awoke at around 3:50 am on the 7th, I checked on my mother (I slept on the sofa by her bed) She seemed a little cool around her shoulders, I felt her chest and hands, they were warm. I thought she was just sleeping peacefully. It wasn't until I turned on the small lamp that I then knew she had passed.

      My mother went the best way possible, she never suffered with pain, she was in her own home and peacefully passed over.

      Oh, I miss her greatly, but feel blessed I was able to care for her. Xx ^j^ xX

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