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I'm new to the site & just needed to talk...
I've been diagnosed for 15 years with Bipolar 2 & have experienced many symptoms.
I'm experiencing low level depression at present, I've lifted from daily crying & total avoidance of daily activities, to feeling flat & not wanting to do much, however carrying out what's absolutely necessary.
I've been taking an antidepressant now for just over 3 weeks so will start to lift more & more shortly; only to then start looking out for hypomanic symptoms (it's all a self management game that can be so draining)!
I'm struggling at the moment dreadfully with self confidence & esteem & my thought processes.
I feel I am fat, old, unattractive, useless & unworthy & I'm constantly questioning my husbands desire to stay with me?!
I'm out of work again due to my moods, I am not carrying out any of the careers I'm trained & qualified in & now even struggle to hold down a less stressful job.
My thoughts are turning every situation into a negative; if my husband leaves the house I think he's meeting someone, if he's looking at his phone I think he's interacting with another woman.
Although we've been married over 11 years & together 12 with a son together & he's never given me any reason to doubt him, my negative thoughts are crucifying me!
I'm almost 13 years older than my partner which generates insecurity...
I know these thoughts are typical symptoms of the depressive pole & I'm sure once I've lifted or when next euphoric, I'll be back to feeling invincible & the sexiest woman alive; well, I'll feel better about myself anyway!
The constant cycle & inability to stabilise moods & mind sets, just make me despair!
Anyway...I've waffled enough, just needed to offload & would love to interact with someone, although appreciate that there may be no-one around.
Thank you for reading, take care, as I will too. ;0)
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